Yesterday, I posted about an idea I had to get astral. What I didn't post was that I partially enacted that idea. The idea was to make offerings to an angel of the GD tradition that is 'in charge' of such things. I changed my mind because for the moment, I like doing the offerings as a gift. Expecting anything in return makes it an obligation, not a gift. This is why I've never understood people that expect thank you notes or other kudos when they give a gift. If you expect something back, do not call it a gift. Call it an obligation, for that is what it is. "For your birthday, please accept this obligation." What?
Instead of the offering, I just said I a short silent prayer to this angel.
Last night, I dreamed I was walking above the earth. I have dreams like this quite often and I always complain to myself about not recognizing this and failing to become lucid. Over time, I have noticed that I have managed to get higher. In the beginning it was just a couple of inches off the ground. Last night, I was overjoyed to 'walk' over a one story building. It was in that moment, I became lucid.
I was lucid but I had no plan. I vibrated the hierarchy of Yesod. With astral eyes closed! I could feel the vibration and it was awesome. I could feel that astral movement but I kept wondering where I was going because I could not see.
Instead of the offering, I just said I a short silent prayer to this angel.
Last night, I dreamed I was walking above the earth. I have dreams like this quite often and I always complain to myself about not recognizing this and failing to become lucid. Over time, I have noticed that I have managed to get higher. In the beginning it was just a couple of inches off the ground. Last night, I was overjoyed to 'walk' over a one story building. It was in that moment, I became lucid.
I was lucid but I had no plan. I vibrated the hierarchy of Yesod. With astral eyes closed! I could feel the vibration and it was awesome. I could feel that astral movement but I kept wondering where I was going because I could not see.
It felt like a traveled in an arcing pattern as pictured above.
I landed on the campus of a city college some where and realized I had left my books on the roof of that building I walked over. The symbolism is obvious. I left my 'education' behind early in the flight. I feel foolish, I've never closed my eyes before when doing this. Perhaps, it is a sign I was not ready to see. Perhaps, it is just an example of being Frater Bonehead.
This is a good sign that praying to that angel will work. I will continue with that approach.
I took it down last night. It was time. It had gone unused. Oddly, the red carpet under the table was rotating under the table while the table remained parallel to the walls.
I took it down to dedicate something to Pan. I simply could not do it. I kept looking for an excuse not to. I then sat down and meditated and tried to reach 'transcendent Pan'. I 'heard' that I still fear. I should wait until I can purge that fear. I have begun to work on that through prayer.
My back hurt today. Coincidence?
Again I performed the offerings today. I love how that makes me feel. The offering to the local spirits took the form of rain. The offering to the Universe was again a beautiful column of light. Awesome.
I landed on the campus of a city college some where and realized I had left my books on the roof of that building I walked over. The symbolism is obvious. I left my 'education' behind early in the flight. I feel foolish, I've never closed my eyes before when doing this. Perhaps, it is a sign I was not ready to see. Perhaps, it is just an example of being Frater Bonehead.
This is a good sign that praying to that angel will work. I will continue with that approach.
Enochian Temple
I took it down last night. It was time. It had gone unused. Oddly, the red carpet under the table was rotating under the table while the table remained parallel to the walls.
I took it down to dedicate something to Pan. I simply could not do it. I kept looking for an excuse not to. I then sat down and meditated and tried to reach 'transcendent Pan'. I 'heard' that I still fear. I should wait until I can purge that fear. I have begun to work on that through prayer.
My back hurt today. Coincidence?
Offerings
Again I performed the offerings today. I love how that makes me feel. The offering to the local spirits took the form of rain. The offering to the Universe was again a beautiful column of light. Awesome.
LBRP/Middle Pillar
I did this the same way as yesterday a bit later in the day than the offerings. I really enjoy this.
During the middle pillar, there was once again a crown at Keter with twelve or thirteen points. It seemed too many for ten. Towards the end, my head felt like all the synapses were firing at once. It is similar to how I feel when astral projecting through dreams.
Meditations
I meditated several times today. Now that Jason has made it fun, I feel like I'm playing the carnival game Whack-A-Mole only the moles are the thoughts that pop up. From time to time, I can feel the energy of the thought before a language component is added and interrupt the process without knowing the seed of the thought. It feels as if the thoughts arrive in different physical locations within the brain and I just prevent them making a landing.
This has resulted in that 'all synapses firing' feeling that I get from time to time in solo ritual work and lucid dreaming.
I also sanded my money box today.
(picture from: http://photojournal.jpl.nasa.gov/catalog/PIA11101)
1 comment:
Why did you stop doing Enochian magic (I assume, just for the time being)? Hed you reached a pre-meditated goal, or level, or did you just get a sense that you'd done enough for a while? I'd be interested in your overall assessment of what you experienced from the time you started making the equipment until you stopped doing rituals.
Are you still doing Stavish exercises in connection with lucid dreaming? I've been doing the exercise with the nape-of-the-neck center for six months now, with, admittedly, disappointing results, but I keep tweaking the technique in various ways, and soldier on night after night. I'm convinced there will eventually be a big payoff if I persist.
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