Ratziel

I had a long IM chat with a friend last night. He knows who he is. We talked of the things that make up my 'issue'. He was trying to say much. I could not hear. He did offer me some advice on another issue. True it was another issue but it was the same, related at least. The advice was simple. Divine.

I'm a fair hand at the tarot. The resolution to one issue was silence as represented by Harpocrat on one of the cards. The other was the end of the monkey mind represented by the two of swords. I focussed on the later.

The twos all mean "nothing can stop you now" in one form or another as I read the cards. I took a leap and conjured the archangel of Chockmah Ratziel. It was a bit harder to reach him than Kedemel using his sigil written on a black mirror. When I first recieved a taste of him (her? it?) he counseled persistence. I listened and continued.

He said my problem was "the imaginary other". I immediately understood. I see the actions, be they good bad or indifferent, and create the the 'whole' in my mind. This created image is something I can defend with the poisoned logic Taphtharath pointed out to me.

I began to ask to understand the real whole of many people. Naturally, I saw not their 'whole' but a new aspect. The friend I mentioned above feels he owes me debt. This feeling was so profound that it was nearly overwhelming. Yet, this man owes me nothing at all, nothing. Yet, I'm confident I understood a part of him I never knew before no did he ever hint at.

I was given a glimpse of some others too. Some friends, some not. A work friend K really does love me. It isn't romantic love of any sort but one of kindness and friendship. That was nice. I've always thought her to be quite kind.

I glimpsed my silent mentor, close friends, work acquaintances. With each viewing of a greater part of them. I felt more whole. Peace profound. At some point, I saw the figure of Harpocrat as he appears in the Thoth tarot.

In rereading this, the trance seemed quite short but I assure it lasted quite a long time or at least felt like it. I have, of course, not relayed what I saw when I was shown greater parts of others than I had perceived. 

The trance states using the black mirror have been very effective. This technique has become an instant favorite. My only concern is that it is a bit like being on drugs in that coming down is hard. It isn't hard as in difficult but more like the trance state lasts long after I've left the altar.

Kedemel

Tonight, I adopted the Poke Runyon method for goetic evocation to Kedemel. I didn't do the full rite of course. I simply used a black mirror with the sigil of Kedemel fashioned out of white crayon. I chanted a spontaneous chat and conjured the spirit.

She would not let me see her as I had not done the proper rites but said that it is unlikely she could have appeared to me anyway. I told her that I wanted to reconcile her energies and stop suppressing them. She wasn't impressed.

Her mantra was that my problem is that I am not in proper relations with the people in my life, my various levels of the soul and other unnamed things. Her job was to put me in proper relations. Once that occurs, my communications will be better along with my frustrations. I could feel something odd occur as she worked on aligning my subtle bodies. The feeling can only be described like a chiropractor's alignment of the spine. There were distinct feelings of the bodies moving.

Towards the end I heard, "You are within the Grace of God". The Grace of God is a title of Haniel, archangel of Netzach where Venus (Nogah) resides on the tree of life. There was a feeling of deep peace at this. I KNOW I made connection with an angel of Netzach, which is reasonably far up the tree.  I am very much still in an 'open' state of mind.

I will use this method of achieving a trance state again. The method needs some fine tuning to work best but this was a jolly good first try.