Friday, July 31, 2009

A Goddess Speaks...

And I listened...

The result was a very calm and fun day and perhaps a new tattoo.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

more dreaming

Last night I experienced dreams.

Several things stood out. Often in dreams, I am afraid. Frequently, there are bad guys trying to me harm. Last night, I saw them coming and just got out of their way. Other times, I guided others away from danger. I was making thoughtful decisions just like in the 'real world'. I call this state 'near lucid' because I have full faculties but I don't know I am in a dream.

At one point, I was in a room with my mentor. He was very emotional. He was saying he was tired and it is time for him to go. He hugged me very tightly and lovingly. I told him he must stay that I can not run the hall and initiate. He laughed and said, "Of course you can, that is the easy part."

I assume if that part had meaning, he was speaking of the future. I've learned the feeling of the dreams is as important as the content. The feeling here was of love and mutual respect.

While I was in the room, I wondered why it was so dark. I was fully lucid and wondered if doing a middle pillar would add light to the scene. I did a bad one with one vibration, if I choose to call it that, per sephira. There was no decernable effect.

Later, I was walking down suburban streets. I lifted a circular lid like something covering a water meter, only it was green. I removed several items from the earth but I can not recall what they were.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Ribbons of Light

Last night, I had a dream.

Colors were gently falling from the sky. Though, there was no sky, no earth, only me and I was barely there. The lights fell like ribbons at midnight on new year's eve. Though, there were no revelers, only silence.

I named the sephira each color represented on the queen scale. I felt as if I'd just made the winning move, perhaps, in a game of solitaire chess.

Show Appreciation

Warning, this is going to sound preachy.

There is a woman who works near my office. She and her friend Willie are constantly seen outside their office on smoke breaks. Willie has an infectious laugh and the woman is always ready with a smile. Naturally, I insult them on a daily basis. I tell them they are typical government employees, always on break. From time to time, I've given the woman instructions on how to properly kick Willie when he gets out of line. The banter is meaningless but it makes the day a little better.

Today, I learned the woman's name, Jennifer. I now know this because Willie told me she was in a horrendous traffic 'accident' on her way to work Friday. She was hit by a woman on meth. Both Jennifer and her mom on in intensive care and it isn't looking good right now.

Jennifer, Willie and I are not good friends. I barely know their names but for making each day a little better, they have been little blessings in my life. We often tell our loved ones we love them. How often do we take a moment and tell the 'little blessings' that they matter, that they make the day a bit better? Wouldn't such a statement make their day?

It doesn't cost a great deal to let people know what they do for you. Jennifer may never hear those words. Do you know a Jennifer? What will you tell her tomorrow?

Sunday, July 26, 2009

odd thoughts

I have sought the divine for a long time.

I've done some cool magick.

I've seen angels in parking lots.

I've seen a shemhamphorecsh angel and he's seen me.

I've seen a path and a sphere on the astral

I've had a god (Pan) land on my head.

More than many humans have experienced and yet i want more. When I get it, I shy away. Well, at least from Pan. I looked him in the eye but did not pursue the quarry. I wonder why?

It has been over a month of sitting, of doing very little. I feel stuck. I feel close to spirit and yet a million miles away.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

An Important Message from the President

President Carter has formerly left the Baptist Church because of its abuse of women. He wrote a position paper on the topic. That I will try to find and post in this space. In the meantime, hear these words and ask yourself, why could not a sitting President utter them? From whence, will a true leader emerge?

Edit: Here is the link to the position paper.

What is My Role?

I do not write of the tarot often. As a tarot reader, I have a moderate skill but today, I contemplate the art.

Within the last year or so, there were a series of posts by the bloggers' cabal, which consists of myself, Jason Miller, Frater RO and My Gal with contributions from IDP and Lavanah, in which we discussed group leaders. Jason posted about a Buddhist teacher who made a pass at a student. The student thought he should be above such desires. This is a common failing of students and teachers alike. Students want to look up to their teachers as an ideal. Teachers let them. Who can blame either side? I know I needed someone to look up to when I began. And who blames a fellow for enjoying such love? The problem with this arrangement is when the teacher stumbles, and they all do, the student is left shaken. If the teacher falls, the results can be disastrous. The solution is for teachers to make it very clear to their students that they are not perfect. They will stumble from time to time. That does not diminish the message or the aspiration.

I have some friends whose lives were changed by a tarot reading. A reading that predicted an event three years before its occurrence in such a startling fashion that you'd have to be a skeptic of considerable blindness to refute the facts. The Amazing Randy and Penn and Teller need not make inquiries. My friends' lives were not changed as much for the event as for its prediction.

These two thoughts, the role of the teacher and the tarot reading, have left me to ponder the role of the tarot reader.

As a tarot reader, I have taken some pride when I hit the bull's eye. You've been in FIVE abusive relationships, not four, not six, five. And, I've also been aware of things I did not say that were so uncanny one can not possibly believe in anything other than some psychicism. For instance, there is no way I could have known a person's real question involved the selling of marijuana.

I can see how some go to readers for the entertainment value. Getting an 'unknowable' fact correct would offer that entertainment. Others go to ask questions that, while very mundane, are of real import to the querent. Sometimes, a hero arrives who wants to know of his or her relationship to the gods or God. They want to know how to better than they are, more attuned. They want to manifest more than a personality. One could view himself as providing a service to each of these and tailoring their readings accordingly. The problem there is that one never knows. My friends sought entertainment. Yet deep inside was really a spiritual need made manifest by that reading.

While many want to hear 'unknowable facts' as 'proof' of the reader's talent and I think the reader should offer such when the information makes itself known, no tarot reader should seek this. Instead, the reader should seek to serve his client, as the client needs. He who seeks the unknowable fact may become so proud of himself, that he misses the underlying question being asked. Does it matter that the querent has been in five abusive relationships? Did I think she did not know? Then of what value was that information to her? Of what value was the information that her 'need' to be in such situations came from her father, who was also abusive? Would it not have been better to offer a way of changing that internally should she so choose?

As in many things, the answer is to serve those that appear. Serve the kind. Serve the mean. Serve the seeker. Serve the buffoon. For service is, in and of itself, a sacrament.

Saturday, July 18, 2009


I have been watching the television show kings via They are actually showing mystical things, magickal things. The magician is a priest. His magic is rarely seen.

Friday, July 17, 2009

The Fundamental Structure of the Tarot Pips

I don't often discuss the tarot here. There are a million tarot readers to hear from. I am posting this as a blurb to an upcoming class 'instructed' by yours truly.

The tarot is more than a form of divination. It is a veritable spiritual ladder for those who seek gnosis. Buried in many an instructional text is a simple fact that will change your perception of the tarot. There are 40 pip and 16 court cards. Yet, those 56 cards only express four ideas. Those ideas are the foundational to our entire existence and represent the building blocks of the path of return.

Host: The Bakersfield Magick and Occult Science Meetup Group
Type: Education - Class
Network: Global
Date: Saturday, October 17, 2009
Time: 12:00pm - 1:00pm
Location: Enchanted Cottage
Street: 30 H Street
City/Town: Bakersfield, CA
Phone: 6613239929

Wednesday, July 15, 2009


I have noticed something peculiar. It has become impossible to fantasize. Sometimes, when walking between buildings at work, I'd wonder about winning the lotto or just being at the beach or someplace pleasant. None of that works, such thoughts arise but die a phantom's death.

It is not a sad feeling but one of being present. I mention because it was strong and apparent today. It was as if this new condition was introducing itself after a long nodding acquaintance as we passed by each other in the hallways of life.

Monday, July 13, 2009

A Scene

The camera moves. Slowly up a dimly lit staircase. The sound track, non existent. Nothing is happening. Yet, the audience is tense. They know. Something is about to happen.

Sunday, July 12, 2009


I have been very quiet for quite a while now. I know this is something but I'm not 100% sure what that something is and I won't speculate.

In the meantime, congratulations to WitchDoctorJoe on becoming the first minority faiths chaplain recognized by the State of California. He works in the prison system and now at a state hospital. I have no doubt Joe will serve with integrity and will not embarrass the pagan community.

Congratulations to Jason Miller on the birth of his twins! Even though he didn't name either of his daughters Copernicus as I suggested.