Thursday, December 25, 2014

Lesser Key Work

I have been busy. I have instigated a lot of local pagan/magickal activity. Posting here has been sporadic. In large part, I simply do not feel like posting. There is now a better reason.

Not too long ago, I did some work out of the Lesser Key. I used my triangle ritual as a base and then called forth a daimon. The triangle ritual gets me so high that the daimon looked very small. The experience was not unlike looking at someone on the ground from a skyscraper. Seeing such a daimon as small, while true from one perspective, is misleading once one returns to consensus reality. The charge was simple. Remove any shell that hides or obscures my soul from myself and/or others. I had my ass kicked so hard that my asshole became my third eye.

I learned the following lessons:

1)      I need to stay fully present in the moment during every conversation I have no matter the form.
2)      I need to apply the same techniques in mundane life as my magickal. In short, in every situation my task is to ask “What do I need to hear?”
3)      I understand now, having learned of my own denial, how people can steadfastly deny the obvious.
4)      I understand now, having seen myself do it, how people can convince themselves of the rightness of their actions, even though they are obviously wrong.
5)      I understand now, having seen myself do it, how people can be abusive or less than helpful, while fully believing they are helping.
6)      I have been arrogant on a massive scale.
7)      Taking care of those you love is a willful 24/7 process.
8)      I am no longer perpetually angry, short tempered or confrontational.

The better reason for not posting is that speaking of the gods and the lessons they bring, feels like hubris. Who am I to say that any god or goddess knows of my existence? Even if I feel them and see their activity, speaking of such seems disrespectful.

On another note, this winter I have traveled several times to Tartarus. That has been quite terrifying, super cool, and educational.

Friday, December 12, 2014

Mage and Mystic

The magician imposes his/her will on the universe. We want something to happen, contact spirits or other forces and direct them towards our goals. This works.

The mystic receives information and responds accordingly. Asking, “What do I need to hear,” is a gentle approach and the universe responds in kind.

As a magician, I was taught to get rid of things that I do not need. This can bring about a desire to cling to old ways, attitudes and behaviors.

As a mystic, I learned to accept my virtues and enhance them. This allows that which I do not need to fall away naturally.

As a magician, I was able to manifest my desires.

As a mystic, I am able to be where I need to be and do what I need to do.

As a magician, I sought to learn.

As a mystic, I am.

This allows me to live the words we uttered when entering a Golden Dawn hall. “I seek to learn that I may serve.”

As a magician, one has to be a bit arrogant to think that one knows enough to impose upon the universe.

As a mystic, one has to be a bit humble to receive a deeper reality without trying to change it.

As a magician, my ego is served when I successfully impose my will.

As a mystic, my ego is not served when I hear what is necessary.

As a magician, I respect power.

As a mystic, I respect the universe and everything and everyone in it.

As a magician, I use the Qabala to project power even though Kaballah means ‘to receive’.

As a mystic, I use the Qabala to receive.

Now, as I magician, I no longer prompt the universe to create my desires but to take me along the path I need to be on.

Now, as a mystic, I accept, love and enjoy that path.

Now, I am a mage-mystic. Life is good. Life is simple. Life is happy. And, I am still learning.

Sunday, November 16, 2014

Willing to Die

The first thing a drug addict, who has messed up her life, must do is give up drugs. In order to be successful, the part of the addict attached to the drug must die. The addict must be willing to let it die. Often in order to avoid drugs, so-called friends, beloved or not, cannot remain in the picture. Those friends would resurrect the dead parts and prevent the rise of the soul parts by their very presence alone.

Sometimes, we know what has to die. Sometimes, we don't. Sometimes, the divine kills a part of us. I think we can only do so much and once that is done, spirit steps in. 

Last night, the divine stepped in and killed various parts of me. This morning, I cannot think of a single person that I have ever met that I do not love. 

Sunday, October 5, 2014

Your Shells

Shells are comprised of that which traps you within your illusionary being. They are behaviors, the attitudes behind them and the energy of their origin. As a friend put it, they are the bars through which you see the world. What you see of that other side isn't a reflection of divine reality even though that is exactly what you are looking at. Shells are things that reflect the less than true self and all the energy you put in to your own suffering.  Shells are what traps you in hell.

It can be supposed that the shells are made up of bad things. I suppose that is true. When you see your shells you will not be surprised by the bad things you have done. After all, even though you deny them to others, you know. Deep down you know. You may be surprised by what is not there or at least relatively minor.  What will surprise you are the things you thought were right, okay or no big deal.

I asked you, dear reader, to consider that well.

Sunday, August 10, 2014

The Perfection of Hecate and Buddha Nature

"Hecate Cthonia holds the highest wisdom...which is 'nothing bad ever happens, only our karma coming back to us.'" from Hecate - Death, Transition and Spiritual Mastery by Jade Sol Luna.

"What is our true nature if it is not this body? There are many words we can use to describe what our true nature is. The simplest word in Buddhism for that is Buddha Nature. The definition of Buddha Nature is that we are already enlightened. We are perfect as we are. When we realize this, we are perfect. When we do not realize this, we are also perfect." - From No Self No Problem the teachings of Anam Thubten

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

The Land

I took a short four-day vacation to Oregon and arrived home late last night. It was fully educational.
There were four of us traveling. So, we made frequent stops for individual bathroom breaks and the like. We were not in any hurry.

Our first stop in state felt like home. Nothing special happened. During the second stop, my feet began to tingle when my feet hit the ground. This was a feeling not unlike one's foot awakening after 'falling asleep' but it was more gentle. In fact, I would say it was quite pleasant.

The third stop was in Eugene. After getting situated in our hotel room, I popped outside and found a patch of dirt between the sidewalk and the street. Then, I stole the greeting from the fiction series 'The Iron Druid'. I sent emotions into the earth GREETINGS/MAGICIAN/HARMONY. Immediately, a spirit popped up and said, "No one just says hello!" He was quite excited. He explained that he was what I would call fire of earth. He was volcanic in nature but also a tree/land spirit. He blessed me with a circle of fire and bade me to step within. I did. He blessed me with his fire. He explained his domain was all that I could see from where I was standing. A friendlier spirit I have never met.We spent the day in Eugene. We did not meet an unfriendly soul. The people were wonderful! The entire day my legs tingled up to mid thigh. I loved the place.

The odd part was that people in my part, commented that night about how much I "buzzed" in that town. Several people stared at me as if trying to figure out who or what I was.

The next day we swung west and visited a town by the name of Florence. The land was less impressive. It was much better than home and prettier but nearly as to my liking. On that same day we paused in Port Orford. The ocean view was spectacular. The water was BLUE. Being from California, I am used to dirty green ocean water. This was unbelievable. However, the land felt sick. As beautiful as it was to the eye, I felt like I was in Mordor. We saw for people. All of them appeared to be angry and mentally ill. Our last day, was in a town just that side of the state line. It felt much like home.

Aside from when I was in Eugene, no one looked at me twice.

I learned a great deal about both the feel of different lands and how the lands impacted the people. I am sure the gods shared with me sub-populations of all one ilk in each place to make the point and make it they did! Without any intent, I had a most educational trip.

I am in awe. And yes, we will be returning to that blessed land.

Sunday, July 6, 2014

My New Website

My career change is slowly progressing and exactly as planned. As such, I have created a new website for the coaching portion of my career. Please pop over and check it out ( There are a couple of examples of my real life coaching practice.

Unlike many coaches that have taken a weekend course, I attend ILCT which is a flow blown school.

When you look at the site, you will find that there is no spooky magick feel at all. In fact, aside from the words "esoteric", "inner initiation" and a mention of tarot classes, there is nothing occult about it. This is my attempt at finding a larger audience but leaving clue for folks that read blogs like this that I am in their category as well.

Sunday, June 15, 2014

Someone Else's View of Perfection

"We have all heard that no two snowflakes are alike. Each snowflake takes the perfect form for the maximum efficiency and effectiveness for its journey. And while the universal force of gravity gives them a shared destination, the expansive space in the air gives each snowflake the opportunity to take their own path. They are on the same journey, but each takes a different path.

Along this gravity-driven journey, some snowflakes collide and damage each other, some collide and join together, some are influenced by wind... there are so many transitions and changes that take place along the journey of the snowflake. But, no matter what the transition, the snowflake always finds itself perfectly shaped for its journey.

I find parallels in nature to be a beautiful reflection of grand orchestration. One of these parallels is of snowflakes and us. We, too, are all headed in the same direction. We are being driven by a universal force to the same destination. We are all individuals taking different journeys and along our journey, we sometimes bump into each other, we cross paths, we become altered... we take different physical forms. But at all times we too are 100% perfectly imperfect. At every given moment we are absolutely perfect for what is required for our journey. I’m not perfect for your journey and you’re not perfect for my journey, but I’m perfect for my journey and you’re perfect for your journey. We’re heading to the same place, we’re taking different routes, but we’re both exactly perfect the way we are.

Think of what understanding this great orchestration could mean for relationships. Imagine interacting with others knowing that they too each share this parallel with the snowflake. Like you, they are headed to the same place and no matter what they may appear like to you, they have taken the perfect form for their journey. How strong our relationships would be if we could see and respect that we are all perfectly imperfect for our journey.”

― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

Sunday, June 8, 2014

Preliminary Results to the Advanced MM

I have been doing the Advanced MM. Okay, check that, I have done it three times as it tends to be a bit intense. However, things are changing already in two areas, maybe three. I offer them here in no particular order.

  • My ceremonial magician self appears to be making a comeback. I haven't wanted to do ceremonial work in ages. Now, I have a craving to speak to some elementals. The meanings of the tools have reworked in my head as well. I think using them, which I rarely have done in the past, will be enhanced now. 
  • I find myself totally bored with Facebook, the internet and what passes for 'news' now-a-days. 
  • I am getting smacked by people's reactions to me and my views. It is interesting that I do not get mad about their unwillingness to actually listen to what I have to say but more saddened by their automated reactions. On the other hand, work problems have reversed. 

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

The Problem with Perfection

There is a problem in seeing the Perfection. There is a problem with being so calm. There is a problem in having no conflict whatsoever, within or without. The problem is one gets lazy. In the past, I always had a struggle against some foe, within or without. That always motivated me to do better. That motivation is gone.

I have continued with my life coaching practice, teaching tarot and the Soul Sangha (Manifestation Meditation) locally and the like. These things are easy.

During the Soul Sangha meetings, we do the meditation together. In every meeting, one or two people achieve strong benefits from the group session. My role is more of a facilitator. This time, I was hit hard with two lessons.

1. I am hearing what I need to do correctly. I have to act on what I hear. I have to have FAITH...a totally new word for me. FAITH in myself, FAITH in others, FAITH in the Perfection, FAITH IN the Logos, FAITH in my gods.

2. It is time for me to apply the advanced MM now. The entry level isn't cutting it for me. I must abandon it for that which is more.

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

The Solution to the Leo Anger Problem

No one embarks upon a journey such as my own, striving hard for the light, without knowing there are flaws to overcome, impurities needing purifying, and tests needing to be passed.

For me, the most obvious was that I was angry. There were many things to be angry with in those early years. From one point of view, I was angry at myself. From a distance, one could say I was angry at society. From yet another, it could be argued that I was angry at the actions of other people. At any one time, I could see all of these and thought, in least in seeing those variations, I had something right. If that was the case, it was a small something indeed.

While all those things were true, everybody involved with me at the time, at least that I am aware of, mislabeled the real problem. I will spare you that debate and just lay it out there. The real and only problem was too much fire.

So, in my ignorance, what did I do? I aspired to the fires of heaven! I did endless LBRPs and middle pillars ever grasping to feel the energy of G-d. All this did was stoke the inferno.

Of course, I learned all this in retrospect and quite recently.

Two weekends ago, I participated in a Mystic Faire during which I performed soul and tarot readings. I remained in a state of mystic reception for over five hours and more likely closer to six and a half. This was too much for me and I burned out.

Two days later, I was getting more and more angry. This energy had a peculiar feel to it. Coming from outside of me, it ran along the cracked edges of old fault lines. From my perspective, this fiery power existed outside of me. It was not the normal anger like one would feel getting cut off in traffic or even of betrayal. It was the fires of creation trying to get in.

I am a mage of some experience and I am well aware of what is too much for me to handle. I am not capable of internally processing the fires that were falling upon me. I dropped my spirit into the earth. I called upon earthy spirits. I focused on the feelings of air brushing past me, cool grass under my feet and cleansing waters.

The anger stopped immediately. The recovery process continued for ten days but during that time, that level of angry energy did not reappear.

That was when it dawned on me that all those years ago someone should have stopped me and had me invoking earth. They should have pointed me the divine earth or Divine Cthonic and told me to find a connection there. It is every bit as holy as that which is ‘above’. Doing this would have calmed those flames of old much faster and would have felt much more pleasant than the ten year inferno that was my life.

So, if you are angry Leo starting out or one that hasn’t learned to calm those fires, invoke the earth, earth spirits and elemental forces that are not fiery. Here I think lay the answer. I urge you to give it a shot. Living in an inferno for ten years is every bit as hellish as it sounds. You do not want to live like that.

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Harlequinade: The Virtues of the Lower Souls

Some time ago, within a post entitled Habits of Spiritual Living:Being Connected, I wrote this, It is the misapplication of the virtues of the lower bodies that impede our understanding and awareness of our connection. I promised a commenter by the name of Harlequinade  that I would expand on the idea of the virtues of the lower souls and how they can be applied. 

So, let's look at some soul-levels. 

The Nephesch is the seat of the instincts. The Nephesch has a job to do, it keeps you alive (fight/flight) so you stay alive long enough to reproduce and raise your children to reproductive age. Then, its roll reduces.

Keeping us alive is a virtue of this level of the soul. Staying alive keeps us within this human experience long enough to learn our life lessons. Through reproduction, it also keeps our species going. The problem is that this soul confuses many human experiences as life threatening. This misapplication of virtue impedes our ability to learn. 

As humans, we care about how other people perceive us. We create an image to control that perception. We say and do things that empower this image and sell it to those willing to buy. The problem is that reality does not match that image. For example, I once had a plumber continually tell me what an honest guy he was, while telling me he'd work on something as a side job for half price as long as I didn't tell his boss. He internally believed he was honest but in reality he simply wanted to be. By convincing me, he would see that reflection and believe himself to be honest, even though this was obviously not the case.

Most of the time, people are more subtle and their contradictions more hidden. Trying to maintain these illusions and delusions is very stressful. Stress kills. So, this entire process works counter to what the Nephesch is trying to accomplish. Part of us, our misapplied Nephesch, believes we are our images and if those images, held in the minds of others, die we die. In truth, when we walk away from those false images and manifest our true natures, it is then we begin to live.

Most of us think that we do not create and sustain such false images but the clues are obvious. If one denies what is obviously true, one is attempting to keep a false image alive. "Honey, he fired me for no reason." The false image is, “I am a good provider for our family that is being treated unfairly.” If the wife buys that her husband’s boss woke up one day and fired him without any reason at all, he is married to an idiot. She knows him well enough to know he was drunk, smarted off one too many times, was lazy or whatever the reason was likely to be.

If you tell one person one thing and someone else another thing about the same incident, you are also in denial and projecting images (plural) which is now even more stressful. You may say privately, "Dude, I totally screwed up," but publicly say, "I have no idea why she is mad at me, do you?" Here one creates at least three illusionary bodies. The first to the private party says, "I am honest, introspective and will try to do better," or “Please pretend to ignore the obvious and be my friend. I will not do the same to you as I did to her.” The second, for public consumption place blame on a third party, "I am a good guy and that person makes totally arbitrary decisions,” and “I am reasonable and seeking an answer." The third illusion is to one’s self thinking one is smart enough to fully manage these images which one only half-believes and will never again get caught out. Can you say STRESSFUL?

Here is the really sad part. Those images that we project reflect the beauty of who we are. Those falsehoods are all true. We just haven't fully manifested the beauty of our true selves. We are just trying to convince ourselves that we have. The misapplication of this soul level prevents the full flowering of our true soul.

Keeping an image alive is a misapplied power of the Nephesch. Using that energy and drive to eat right, exercise, and not jump in front of moving vehicles properly expresses the Nesphesch.

The Ruach is a higher level of the soul but can still be misapplied. I offer my own example. The Ruach, or as I call it the Perfect Personality, rightfully embodies one's unique relationship to the divine and expresses that relationship. Years ago, I railed against Christianity. I viewed the starting point of original sin to be barbaric, dehumanizing and the author of self-loathing, a highly destructive emotion. And, while I still view original sin to be a deeply flawed and damaging concept, I am not rabidly angry anymore. Even when I was railing against it, I never truly understood why. I had not been directly damaged by that religion. 

I learned only after my awakening that my view of the Divine was that the process is perfect. We may see events as painful (bad) or joyful (good) but in reality these are just experiences we have that serve to unfold the soul. The process of bringing these good and bad things into our lives and our reactions to them (be they "good" or "bad") is perfect in and of itself. It is much like the odd little stories I read as a child.

We went on vacation this summer.
That is good.
Not really, our car broke down and we were stranded.
Oh, that is bad.
Not really, a passerby called a tow truck for us.
That is good.
Not really, he took us for $500 and that was most of our vacation money. We didn't even have enough to get home.
Oh, that is bad.
Not really, a man in a diner heard our story. He told us of being in a similar situation with his young family long ago and gave us enough money to get home. We learned people are wonderfully kind.
That is good.
Not really...

My misapplication of my Ruach was projecting that my (then unknown) perception of the Divine was being challenged and I needed to defend against that challenge. This made me an individual with my own ideas. I had a place, even if that place was more the result of a negative reaction to orthodox thinking. The proper application of my Ruach was understanding my personal relationship with the Divine and living true to that knowledge. That not only makes me an individual expression of the divine but part of the large mass of humanity, the one and the many. I may have my own ideas and expressions but I stand with all other humans, not against them because their expression is different from my own. 

These are just two examples of misapplication and proper application of the souls. I hope this is of value. More so, I hope to have shown that the misapplications of our powers reveals our true nature as much as it impedes it. If we have the courage to see our errors, we can gain deep insights into our truth. Denial serves no useful purpose.

Thursday, May 22, 2014

The Appearance of the HGA

When one is first being contacted by one's HGA, the angel often takes the form of a police officer in dreams. The reason for this is that in our culture, the police officer is a sign of absolute authority. We may dispute the rightness of our politicians but rarely, even with evidence of abuse of power*, is a police officer's authority questioned by the general public. We know police officers at a subconscious level as an authority but also by a different name, peace officer. It is through these dual ideas that the angel takes it form, unquestioned authority and a keeper of peace.

Long after these appearances, he may take another form such as a corporate CEO. In this mode, we acquiesce to his authority because of what he can bestow upon us. In this capitalist society, that is a job or an investment opportunity. Of course, the arrangement is strictly voluntary. One can, at least in theory, work for anyone and invest anywhere. That said, the choosen relationship is entered into with by both parties with an eye toward profit. So it is at this stage with the HGA. The human spirit gains something. There is also a gain on the part of the angel. What that is, I cannot say.

* This is not meant as a condemnation of police officers merely the acknowledgement that some abuse their power. Nor, should one's political view of police enter one's thoughts when considering these ideas. We are speaking in long-term cultural ideas only.

Wednesday, April 23, 2014


On March 19 and 20, I posted about things that were changing. I am beginning to understand what is happening. I underwent the inward initiation some time ago. Current events are teaching me the application of that initiation. In what I am sure will annoy someone, this isn't something that is open for discussion at the moment. What I can share is, if this is what I think it is, it is a lot of fun.

Monday, April 7, 2014

Coached Into a Compassionate Plan

Unlike many that call themselves a life coach, I actually spend considerable time and money learning how to do it properly. I attend ILCT as I learn and hone my craft. I already have more class time and coaching hours than most that call themselves a life coach.

Life coaching is not psychology or therapy. The best way I have heard it put is that therapists are experts that find what is wrong and makes it smaller. A life coach is a partner that helps you find out what is right and lets you teach yourself how to make it bigger. Given my understanding that we are all THIS close to G-d, focusing on spiritual issues by helping folks uncover what is right with them is right up my ally. I am quite tired of dealing with the magickal point of view of turning lead into gold. You are all gold people.

Part of the training to be a coach is peer-to-peer coaching. As coaches, we coach each other. As a reasonably self-aware and verbose person, I am a pretty easy client. That doesn't mean I do not learn a great deal from being coached.

Something recently bothered me a great deal. The Kenny Klien arrest hit some personal issues for me but my reaction is what shocked me. My first thought on hearing the news was, "That poor bastard. He just lost every friend he ever had. He's imperfection was been revealed to the world. He is humiliated and his life is basically over." I felt great compassion. About two minutes later, I wanted to string him up. Then I felt compassion for his victims and blameless friends.

What bothered me was how I could feel compassion for someone that did something so horrible but not so much for people I see every day, be they passersby or acquaintances. While being coached, I developed a three pronged plan for living a more compassionate life.

1. When I am out and about, I look for people that may need a little help and offer it.
2. When I go into retail situations (which drive me batty) I pause and remind myself that these people are just trying to make a living. Being treated as a number whose only function is to hand over money and an object to be subjected to 'suggestive selling' bothers me a great deal but it is not the worker's fault. I calm myself, tell myself that they don't like treating people like numbers either and go out of my way to be pleasant to them.
3. I picked two people at work to be extra compassionate with. I am not trying to do it all at once, just two people.

Item 1 is the hardest as I have to remember to look and I usually don't. Item two seems to work just fine as does item far. I expect there to be difficulties but not so far.

I have a long history of being compassionate towards others but in a bit of an imbalanced way that allows me to be taken advantage of a bit. By doing things in a planned manner, I hope to bring not only some joy and happiness to others but a bit more balance to myself.

EDIT (4/7/14 12:36 PM):

I know it will be wildly unpopular to express any compassion for Klein. I am not worried about offending folks when there is no cause for them to be offended. I am not condoning what this man is accused of doing. I expressed compassion for a human being.

I do have a couple personal axioms about compassion:

1. True compassion means having compassion for the worse of us at the worst of times.
2. True compassion is expressed continually toward every one.

Yes, I am not there yet but that doesn't mean I don't know a truth when I see one.

Additonal Note (12:41 PM)

3. Having compassion for ourselves opens the door to G-d. For we are all worthy of the same compassion that we feel for others. Feeling for ourselves allows us to accept who are.

Sunday, March 23, 2014

Expelling the Nephesch or The Extreme Sports of Magick

Well now, isn't this interesting...

Last night, I had a dream...holy mother of all things great and small, what a dream! I am not going to bore you with the details. I am going to hit you with the highlights...

  • Five of "us", by that I mean five parts of me drown.
  • I saw our bones disperse within an underground river.
  • I came to in the lobby of a modern building. There I was met by a black man that helped me up. He ushered me through a door. OH WHAT A DOOR!
  • There was a community of sorts. Everything was very natural. The "rooms" where things were done were half open to the elements. They were more like shelters. This community was laid out like it existed within canyon walls but there were no walls. 
  • As I walked I merged with Hermes. The stars were GLORIOUS. 
  • I was totally lucid.
  • We where attached by something centipede like. As far as I know, no one was hurt but it was the topic of much calm discussion.
  • I then found myself talking with Constance DuQuette and telling her about the dream. She made an exclamation and then said, "I would pay the necessary people to do the initiation".
  • I was then in a car with Lon. He was driving. I put something in an envelope for him. Then stuck a label on it. As I handed it to him I noticed how it was addressed. I told him that I didn't think that was my address and he tossed it out the window.
I woke up immediately and realized that this had to do with the Hanged Man card.

Later in the day, I did my meditation and asked my soul what the meaning of the dream was. The answer was that I arleady had the answer. Earlier I had though that the wrong address thing meant that one part of my soul wasn't buying into this.

 Oddly, I am teaching the Hanged Man card in next Wednesday's class. I just looked it up in Crowley's Thoth Tarot.

This card, attributed to the letter Mem, represents the element of Water. It
would perhaps be better to say that it represents the spiritual function of
water in the economy of initiation; it is a baptism which is also a death. In the
Aeon of Osiris, this card represented the supreme formula of adeptship; for the
figure of the drowned or hanged man has its own special meaning. The legs are
crossed so that the right leg forms a right angle with the left leg, and the arms
are stretched out at an angle of 60° so as to form an equilateral triangle; this
gives the symbol of the Triangle surmounted by the Cross, which represents the
descent of the light into the darkness in order to re deem it. For this reason
there are green disks-green, the colour of Venus, signifies Grace-at the
terminations of the limbs and of the head. The air above the surface of the
water is also green, infiltrated by rays of the white light of Kether. The whole
figure is suspended from the Ankh, another way of figuring the formula of the
Rose and Cross, while around the left foot is the Serpent, creator and
destroyer, who operates all change. (This will be seen in the card which next
It is notable that there is an apparent increase of darkness and solidity in
proportion as the redeeming element manifests itself; but the colour of green
is the colour of Venus, of the hope that lies in love. That depends upon the
formulation of the Rose and Cross, of the annihilation of the self in the
Beloved, the condition of progress. In this inferior darkness of death, the
serpent of new life begins to stir.

So, I do my meditation again in the context of this knowledge. I was told to do a ritual to expel my nephesch and follow that up by the Rose Cross rite. This sounds like the extreme sports of magick to me.

Stay tuned.

Thursday, March 20, 2014

Different Something

I had a bit of a chat with my soul last night. It seems the problem isn't the focus of others. Instead, I am told, I am contracting. But but but....look at all this I am doing. Yes, your actions are expanding but you are contracting. Big Bang.

Okay, so here comes a transformative experience....stay tuned.

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Something is Happening

Of late, I have felt a tremendous amount of pressure. It has built upon itself so slowly that I failed to notice.

Some of this is explained mundanely. I am going through life coaching school which creates activities three days a week. In that process I am not only learning but coaching and being coached. I am on two teams so that means I am getting coached on different topics twice a week. That is a lot. Also, my car has been in and out of the shop since an accident in January. Soul Sangha (my local MM group) and my tarot classes have both grown to twice-monthly activities. On top of that I teach some sort of other local class about every six weeks. The MM class is now participatory takes three hours. I also lectured for four classes this week at Fresno State University on the Golden Dawn and will do the same next week regarding the MM. Oh and I also have coaching clients I work with. All of that hasn't been the main source of pressure. Though, it may be the reason I feel it so much. I haven't had much R&R.

The pressure comes from a couple of areas. The first is being a focus of a lot of people's spiritual lives. Fifteen to twenty people does not sound like much but it is when their spiritual selves are very aware of you. Then there is my own spiritual work. I can feel pressure building up towards some change but I don't know what it is.

I know all is perfect. Yet, very uncharacteristic of myself for two years now, I feel trepidation bordering on fear.

Sunday, February 23, 2014

Pagans and Occultists Do Have Representation in D.C.

I met a man by the name of Thomas Caldwell at Pantheacon. He is a former corporate lobbyist turned "educator". He educates politicians about Paganism. You can find his website here: Esoteric Education and Action League.

Thomas changed my mind about politics in about five minutes. I told him that it seemed that as average citizens we have about as much representation as money can by. He said that was totally wrong. He asked, "What do politicians buy with the money given to them?" Votes. So, it stands to reason that if you have the votes you don't need the money. All you have to do is organize your votes in blocks. This made sense to me.

He then goes on to tell me that since Pagans are making such in roads into the military that any elected official that bashes Pagans can be asked one simple question. "What do you have against our military?" Apparently, the armed forces are so sacrosanct that such a question shuts them down cold.

He then argued that the numbers of Pagans at high levels in our government already would astound the average Pagan/Occultist.

Thomas told me that if he had 5,000 Pagans donate $10 a month, he could do a lot of damage on the hill. In speaking with him, I totally believe him. Go to his web page, sign up for his email alerts and then set up your bank account to automatically send him $10 a month. I have.

Monday, February 17, 2014

Robert's Review of Pantheacon 2014!

Please forgive me for making this short. Items two and three may explain my lack of time at the moment. Forgive me also for sharing my "Best Presentation Award" with myself. While my presentation was not at all public, I am co-awarding it this year because this is my blog and I can!

Best Presentations

The winner of best presentation this year is Sam Webster announcing his Pantheon Foundation. I cannot do it justice here in a limited time frame. In a nutshell, Sam and his cohorts have created a legally recognized Pagan Education and Social Foundation that will do the following:

  • Provide legal assistance to Pagan groups when it comes to obtaining 501C status.
  • Support small Pagan groups so that they have access to that which is generally available to other religious groups. 
  • Support and provide Master of Divinity scholarships for Pagans
  • Social welfare programs for Pagans
  • A host of other stuff
The Pantheon foundation is building the Pagan infrastructure so desperately needed as this movement comes of age. I can also testify that Sam will never get caught with his hand in the cookie jar. I encourage you to support this worthy endeavor both in spirit and financially. If you have a group in need of their services in any capacity, please let them know. 

The Manifestation Meditation Becomes Available!

Two things happened during side meetings this weekend that I am very pleased to announce! 
  • I made a deal with an international Pagan web-educator to present the Manifestation Meditation classes world-wide. More details will be emerging soon. I can share that it will be emerging under a different name. 
  • Llewellyn Publications has asked me for a formal proposal for the book on the Manifestation Meditation.

Honorable Mentions

Jason Mankey delivered two presentations worthy of mention.

The first was on the Horned God. Jason has the rare ability to present factual information while being funny and managing not to step on what he is saying. The facts never take a back seat to his humor. If you ever have a chance to see him, I encourage you to attend.

The second was a recreation of a ritual that you may have seen in 1899. He and his crew did an excellent job. It was fun to see elements that I would associate with modern British Traditional Wicca, Masonry, the Golden Dawn, along with the pompous air of Victorians. I have some questions for Jason that I was too busy to ask this weekend. Overall it was a cracking good show!

The final honorable mentions have to go the the venerable Lon Milo DuQuette. Lon didn't do his normal presentations this year. However, he did speak of his upcoming book Homemade Magick, due out at summer's end in Llewellyn's hospitality suite for maybe five or six of us. The tidbits of wisdom and spiritual truths he dropped in such off-handed way were totally cool. During that class, he was labeled The 20th Century's Rumi by one of his admirers. 

He also performed his music in Club Max Sunday night. He was funny, irreverent, kind and every bit the Gentle Heretic. He earned a standing ovation from myself and many others. Buy his books, buy his music but if you can, see him live. You will not regret it.

(P.S. I quickly found these images on the web. If I stepped on anyone's copyright, please let me know. I will remove them immediately.)

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

The One Year Anniversary of My Awakening

Today marks the one year anniversary of my awakening as recorded here.

That day seems quite long ago. In fact, I have a very hard time understanding old Robert. It isn't like those who knew me then wouldn't recognize me now. The change is not that drastic in form. My puns are just as bad as they have ever been but I enjoy them even more.

If I had to narrow it down, I would say that the main change is two-fold.

  • Personal Perception
  • Personal Creation
As most of you know, my perception has moved to the view that all souls are in the continual process of unfolding. That process is perfect and each moment is whole unto itself. Nothing is fractured. I think I have shared that enough in the past. I see no point in boring you with more on that.

Old Robert had a lot of anger issues. Over the last month or so, I have come to understand why that issue has passed. When I was angry, I was using my fiery creative energy trying to force others  to see the world as I saw it. Or, I was trying to create in places where there was universal resistance, such as work. Or, I was trying to create where there was no hope of having any influence, such as arguing about politics. What I could not help to create, I burned down. I was also quite easily baited. 

New Robert creates easily. 
  • My lecturing, teaching, life and coaching business, those are not one thing but three interlocking things, is starting off quite well. 
  • Soul Sangha, which is the local Manifestation Meditation group, is now growing to bimonthly meetings instead of monthly. Those are free. 
  • The MM book is finally coming along, thanks to some coaching I have received from classmates.
  • My home life is superb.
  • My friendships are blossoming.
  • Two MM people have experienced the ALL in the past month. One credits the MM. The other does not. The jury is out on weather they will hold it.
  • I am starting to accept the spiritual teacher label. 
  • I have lost fifteen pounds and easily eat better.
  • Adjustments to my approach to things come easily.
  • My teaching has been described as "spiritual morphine" because for the length of time I am lecturing "all is right with the world and nothing can be wrong," life's pains depart for many in the audience.
  • Forgiveness comes easily.
  • I have no insecurities.
  • I know exactly what my True Will is and I am doing it. Nothing whatsoever has stood in my way.
  • I laugh a lot.
I could continue but there would be little point. 

The most fundamental thing I have learned is how close all of us are to G-d, Goddess, the Great Universal IT or whatever you call That Which Creates. We are just as close to enjoying singularity of thought with the All. Everyone is just half a step away.

I have also learned that our so-called faults and difficult portions are really the virtues of our souls just slightly misapplied. There are few, if any, major changes that need to occur. A few tiny, and by that I mean tiny, adjustments need to be made. That is all. 

I know that every person reading this is perfect. I know that you are all worthy of G-d. I know you can all get to your personal version of where I am right now. Have hope. Be persistent. You can do this.

Saturday, February 1, 2014

Habits of Spiritual Living: Being Connected

To be connected, one must be all. To be all, one must accept all. To accept all, one must receive all.

To receive all, one must see life as a continuum. To see life as a continuum, one must aware that subjective judgments of good and bad are born of finite notions.

To see unfolding beyond the finite, one must rise from the body that gives the finite importance.

It is the misapplication of the virtues of the lower bodies that impede our understanding and awareness of our connection.

Saturday, January 18, 2014

Answering Calls to Prayers

There are several calls for prayers in healings hitting the Pagan/occult communities on Facebook. One is for Donald Michael Kraig and the other for Morning Glory Zell. Both are alive but fighting horrible illness.

Years ago, someone from some internet group asked for a candle to be lit for someone. I can't remember who or about what but that does not matter. My response was that I was never sure what to do in cases like that. How was lighting a candle going to help? The retort was something like, "Why can't you just do this little thing for someone?" That person did not understand the seriousness of my question. Either that or she did not know either. Sometimes we just do things for the illusion of being useful but that would discount the reason why such gestures entered the common experience.*

Three years ago a wife of a friend passed over.** He asked that people do rites to help her with her transition.

I had no idea how to help with that but I did pop into my temple room with her in mind. I did my LBRP, BRH and Middle Pillar and, as I started to say a little prayer, she was there. I knew instantly that she had no idea who I was. We had only met a couple of times and years apart. I acknowledged her presence and told her how I knew her. I do not recall but I do not think that part registered for her. I believe at that point, I just told her that her husband had asked us to do rites for her. She accepted this and I prayed for the ease of the transition of her spirit. She watched but a bit confused as to why I would do that and somewhat grateful or comforted.

As I try to recall this incident, I know my memory is hazy on details. The point in sharing is this. Those thoughts and prayers you have for the recently departed are felt by them. Just like with the living, you don't' have to do anything fancy to show compassion and caring. Just like with the living, those little gestures are appreciated and make folks feel good. The world needs a little more feeling good.

I have reason to suspect that even the awareness of the living is touched by such things done in secret. Though, they may not know why they suddenly feel a bit of peace, love or tranquility. So, light a candle, do a rite, say a prayer or do whatever you do at least for those you know, and maybe, once in a while, for those that you have never met. A little selfless love can go a long way.

*Perhaps, someone like Jack or VI can wax poetic on the history of such rites.
** It seems longer than that but I seem to recall a recent Facebook post in her memory that mentioned three years.

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

My Goals as a Spiritual Teacher

Jason Miller posted a nice little article here that inspired this little post. Apparently, my friend the Druid posted something along this vein himself.

I now consider myself a teacher. It would be false humility to claim anything else after receiving comments like this from people that attend classes, he'd be lying to himself to say he was anything else.

"I think you need to get your passion out there to more people. I think people want to know that there is someone like you that can help them either learn more about themselves or teach them a skill that they can use in all facets of their life forever."

My goals as a teacher are pretty much the same no matter what class I teach and no matter what conversation I am having. 
  • Contribute something that asks people to think about themselves in a new or deeper way.
  • Challenge someone to take responsibility for their own spirituality.
  • Provide tool(s) that they can utilize on their own. 
  • Dissuade any thought that I have their answers.
When I succeed in this, my reward is the great joy I feel when they succeed. Often, my day is made by a little two line text or IM relating news about someone's success. 

Sunday, January 12, 2014

Burning My Nemyss (Lesser Key Working)

The Back Story

Some time ago, I got dumped by a woman. It pretty much sucked. Within a couple of weeks, I returned to her any belongings of hers that she left at my place and vice versa. Unfortunately, she forgot my nemyss which she had it because she was a seamstress. She promised to return it.

That never happened. There were a thousand excuses as to why she couldn't do that. Some sounded legitimate and some not. After a while, it became apparent that the likelihood of the return of my nemyss was quite small. After all, by this time it had been nearly a year, if not more since the break up. The last excuse was that it was in her ex-husband's house and he refused to let her in. Having met her ex and having been treated very well by a very nice guy, I found this quite difficult to believe. However, you never know right? I have no idea what transpired between them.

What was apparent was that someone was playing some sort of game with my property. Either the husband was holding it to be a dick to her or my ex was withholding it from me. Either way, someone's actions were pointless and petty. Determining the guilty party was both impossible and unnecessary.

Normally, I would not care much about a physical object but this was a magickal garment that I had worn in formal GD initiations for about a decade. I wanted it back. It had sentimental import. Aside from that, it is bad form to have someone else control your magickal items.

I have been in this position before. From time to time in my magickal life, people have withheld information about my life that should have been rightfully transmitted to me. I knew there was no recourse to reason nor persistence. Something else had to be done.

The Magick

In May of 2013, I called on Andromalius. The 72nd spirit of the lesser key.

"The Seventy-second Spirit in Order is named Andromalius. He is an Earl, Great and Mighty, appearing in the Form of a Man holding a Great Serpent in his Hand. His Office is to bring back both a Thief, and the Goods which be stolen; and to discover all Wickedness, and Underhand Dealing; and to punish all Thieves and other Wicked People and also to discover Treasures that be Hid. He ruleth over 36 Legions of Spirits. His Seal is this, the which wear thou as aforesaid, etc." (my emphasis)

My process was simple. I laid out the required circle and triangle. I pinned the appropriate hexagram on my robe, wore the pentagram with his seal on the reverse and place his seal in the triangle.

I then did the manifestation mediation and then asked the spirit to appear. BOOM. HELLO. There he was.* Very quickly in my minds eye I saw him as he was drawn in Lon DuQuette's Illustrated Goetia. Then I felt him. There is no malice to this one. There is however an uncompromising nature. I have a feeling that if you use this fellow without just cause, you are in for a hard time.

I told him to recover my property. I told him that I was not interested in punishment nor retribution and that under no circumstances was the lady or her ex-husband be harmed. Immediately, I understood what had been stolen from me by others for quite some time.

People had played this game of hide and seek with me in various forms for about ten years, maybe twelve by now. Most of the time, the hidden object was information. In this case, it was physical but the same principle applied. For whatever reason, the passive aggressive people I was dealing with wanted my attention**, even if that attention is negative. Seriously? Whose issue is that? Of course, they loved to bash me when that attention was negative but in the end they were not only asking for it but seeking it. That put a whole new spin on things. I instantly knew that passive aggressive game playing like this had a quite negative effect on my mental, spiritual and thus physical health. I knew in a heartbeat that never again would I tolerate such behavior. Also, within that heartbeat, I knew that nemyss would be returned.

A few days later, a plan popped into my head. I was going to drop by the ex-husband's house as I was scheduled to make an appearance in an occult shop near there anyway. It turned out that I contracted pnueomonia or my back took a dive, I cannot remember which, and could not attended. Later, I told one person from the area my plan.

Within a week, maybe it was a few days, I received a call from my ex-girlfriend that she had obtained the nemyss as her ex suddenly allowed her in to retrieve it. I was also told not to tell anyone. Why I should keep it a secret that her ex let her into her old house was beyond me and I didn't promise to keep it. I found both the timing and the call to keep her access to her old home a secret interesting but drew no conclusions.

The item was given to a friend quite promptly. It did take me some time to pick it up. I was in no hurry as I trusted that person's safe keeping of my property. There is no way this fellow would do it harm or be careless. He and his wife had my complete trust. This trust was validated on my next trip down to that town when he gladly met me and gave me the nemyss.

The Theurgic Effect

"... also to discover Treasures that be Hid."

This working provided immediate understanding on how to deal with these types of people. I have sinced used it to great effect. All of my relationships have improved because of it. I have regained my trust of my fellow humans.

Since this working a couple of people have shared why they think that people want my attention. Their theories do make some sense. And, I have taken steps to alter my behavior to solve that problem, even though I have not bought into it one hundred percent.

Perhaps the Last Directly Related Act

Tonight, I did what I knew I had to do. I burned the nemyss.

This is not a rejection of my GD past or anything like that. I burned the nemyss for two reasons. First of all, it was an object that I allowed to be used in a game of mental hide and seek. It caused me some mental angst that someone that claimed to have once loved me would play with me like that, if indeed she did. Part of the GD lore is that a nemyss prevents possession. Someone literally used it to gain possession of some of my head space. For that reason alone, I couldn't wear that object on my head in ritual. Secondly, burning this allows me to take a physical action of resolve that I will not tolerate this sort of behavior at all. Even though I have demonstrated this by my actions several times over between now and then, I believe this physical action is more than symbolic.

The action isn't all that great a sacrifice either as I do have others in case I am ever called to wear one again.


In watching the nemyss burn, I felt the energy of those years of work flare off. It was like small bubble of power formed and then popped. I realized then and there that there is something to disposing of magickal items through flame.

Secondly, while it is cool to do a rite and get what you asked for so quickly. The cool part is how it worked. An idea came to me that was alien to my way of thinking and just the willingness to follow through on that was all that was needed to obtain result. This has expanded my tool box of thought.

Lastly, since that working so many of my relationships have improved that I am truly happy on that front as well.

* This was by far the easiest appearance of a spirit of the lesser key that I have experienced.
**They would never admit this. In fact, they would likely be correct in denying it. Such is true for most of us. We are shockingly unaware of our own motives and needs.

Friday, January 10, 2014

Save Aaron Leitch's Sight

Aaron is about to lose his sight unless we help him out.

If you have enjoyed my scribblings over the years and at least found them entertaining if not informative, I am asking you to send him a buck or two.

My father went blind and I understand how much you miss without your sight. You lose the little things, like a silent smile and adoring look from a child or are those big things? You miss other things too. My father, a wise man and a student of other humans, was taken to the cleaners by an unscrupulous con man. He would never have fallen for that with his sight.

For those of you that do not know, Aaron is an occult author, mage and by reputation only, a nice fellow. Do not let him fall into the realm of physical darkness.

Please donate to Aaron. Click here.

Supplimental: His $5,000 fundraiser has now reached $5,900 and, presumably, still counting. I am very proud of the occult community and was happy to play a very small part in the process.

Saturday, January 4, 2014