Monday, July 2, 2018

Chronozon and Unity

Not long ago, I had a dream. A human rubbed some sort of wand on my head. It looked and felt like an ultrasound wand. He hit a certain spot and the world changed. I saw numbers on top of every item, the walls, table, headware everything.

The number that stuck in my mind first was 383. In gemantria, this means "the Hebrew god". When I walked outside, I saw the numbers 3 and 3 painted on a curb. There was a small prayer flag covering the last digit. If I wasn't paying attention, I would have missed the last 3 hiding under the flag. The number 333 is the number of the final guardian. Chronozon.

Since then odd coincidences have happened. For example, my name is Robert Alan Hager. A Golden Dawn Adept, also a Robert Alan, came by my shop. After he left, another person interested in Hermetic magick came in. His name was Robert Allen. We all had different last names.

The adept turned me on to a fellow that may be able to help dealing with Chronozon. The last three-digits of our phone numbers are the same.

I could list more. The point is that as I approach the next level the universe is teaching me that unity is nearby. 

Sunday, April 29, 2018

Impossible Paths

Dear What Few Readers I Have Left,

Thursday marked a new beginning. 

I strongly believe that it is up to you to find your truth regardless of how others perceive their own truths. Teachers are great. They are usually sincere and relay their truths but they are not always correct within the universe of their students. The same can be said for books, spirits, and your friends. Truth is an odd thing. You rarely find the reality by looking for it and you never find it believing in someone else’s version. In my case, I simply led my life and found myself in the middle of my truth. 

Let me first state this is my truth about this particular topic. It is not the answer to life, the universe and everything. 

Wednesday night, I found myself in that odd waking/dream state where I was fully conscious but also fully optical. This was not a lucid dream but more of a dream that occurred when fully awake, a vision, if you will, but more on the lines of 'unusual otherworldly experience'.

I was surrounded by many small animals with sharp teeth. My wife was petting a dog whose hair stood up as if attached to scales that flipped up when he was defensive or aggressive. There were other creatures, small ferrets, rabbits, and a host of other animals with rows and rows of sharp teeth not characteristic of their breeds. I was curious but not afraid.

Relying on my old CM ways, I drew a banishing pentagram of earth. The scene changed to an African safari. There were lots of normal looking herbivores about. Unlike the last scene, which was pure darkness except for the animals, this was brightly lit. 

I then mentally drew a banishing pentagram around myself as I lay in bed. Immediately, an angel appeared in a tree. It showed me how to pair opposites into a unifying response to the world. The important part wasn't that the message. It is that I listened to it without judgement or rejection. This allowed for the angel to tell me this. "Study the Lovers Card."

I woke up the next day and contemplated the The Lovers. She is about the universe of opposites and sits on the path between Tipereth and Binah. Combine that with the path of the Chariot and you wind up in the exalted grade of 8=3, Magister Templi.

I have been told that even 6=5 (Adeptus Major) and 7=4 (Adeptus Exemptus) were mythical and given out only as an honorific. Surely, I am not a 6=5 and definitely not a 7=4. I looked at the cards leading to 7=4 and causally noted that I had recently had experiences of all the paths leading to Chesed, the qabalistic sphere of the grade. Either I had walked the path of the Serpent of Brass, having all of the experiences but none of the spiritual understanding, or I had done much more than I had thought. 

Immediately, I entered a mystic state. I walked the Halls of Jupiter, flew into Heaven (so peaceful that it borders on the boring), and saw Ganesha. The lesson, though no words were spoken, was self-love. I fully, at least in those moments, loved myself as I love my dear friends. Seeing any faults as part of a tapestry yet holding no judgments whatsoever. I learned that the judgement of others starts with the judgment of the self. To ascend to a state of love one must love oneself fully. I accepted this without false modesty and without arguing that self-love is arrogance. I am worthy of my own love.

I became aware that my hands had fallen into a mudra of self-love. I have no idea if this would be sanctioned by those that know the mudras well. I simply know it is my mudra. I changed my hand positions and felt a tangible change of energy with each one. Fascinating.  As I experimented with hand positions, I looked down at my hand and found it stained blue, the color of Chesed. This was one of the strongest confirmations I have ever had. This was early morning (note the pajama pants). I had touched nothing that would have stained my hand. 

All opposites are unified by love. 

With this knowledge I seek to

  • Make self-love real in my everyday experience and let that manifest into purity of heart. This, I hypothesize, is the path of the Lovers. 
  • Walk the watery path of the Chariot, whatever that entails. 
  • Know that I already am that which I am 



Thursday, February 15, 2018

Dream Symbolism of the HGA

The Holy Guardian Angel is a well-known concept in the Western Esoteric Tradition. I am not going to expound much on what it is. The HGA is an intermediate being between your born self and your
immortal soul. He or she teaches you how to contact your immortal self.

Over the years I have had dreams where I woke up knowing I was seeing either my HGA in disguise or receiving a message from him. Please note, I use the term him because I know my HGA. I have met him and could easily recognize him in any chance encounter on the street.

My first encounters with my HGA were of him disguised as a police officer. In these dreams, he was
telling me not to do something, literally stopping me from doing something or I stopped doing whatever I was doing because I saw a cop. That something always had an immediate and obvious coorelation to my life. It took me a while but I started to heed the warnings.

I believe that the authority figure motiff occurs because living a life in alignment with one’s soul is easy if you stop doing things that take you out of that life. These are not necessarily moral decisions. He stopped me from doing perfectly socially acceptable things that were not in alignment with my soul.

Often, the behaviors we must stop are things that we think impact our survival but do not. Other times, we have to stop doing things that lead to a false life. For example, someone with the soul of an artist studying to be an accountant to please her father.

These dreams evolved until that same police officer protected me from things in my dreams. The
analogies here were not as obvious. On some occasssions, the threat in my normal life became obvious.

On very rare occassions, the image of the authority figure would change. He appeared as a high school teacher, a Catholic priest, and I think once as a doorman telling me that I could not enter a building. I am sure there were other forms.

At some point the figure changed. He became the pope. Yes that pope. This was not a Discordian
experience. There was always a gatekeeper. She was the Pope’s secretary sitting at a desk outside his
office. In these dreams, my Catholic sister, would always know the gatekeeper and be let in. I had to
wait. Sometimes, I walked in. I have no recollection of what happens then. I viewed these dream as the pope being representive of my highest soul, not my HGA.  Perhaps, my sister’s appearance means that I have to be religious about things. Maybe, I am supposed to get to know the gatekeeper. I have not pieced that together yet.

The inspiration for this post came last night. In last night’s dream, I was the cop. In the same way, I know that the other dreams were of my HGA, I know that in this dream I was someone’s HGA. The most likely interpretation was that someone in my real life is looking at me as an HGA figure. The less likely intrepretation is that in the future, I will evolve to the point that I will be someone’s HGA. It seems a bit soon for that. Another unlikely interpretation is that in another alternative reality, I have already

Friday, January 19, 2018

A Lesser Key Spirit Amuses

I seem to have the blogging bug again. The problem is the nature of my work at this time feels
unpublishable. I do not want to reveal the magick that I am doing. In fact, the magick screams ͞No!͟ at
the idea of blogging about it. I do not want to teach via a blog. So today, I am going to share an amusing story.

I conjured one of the Lesser Key spirits the other day. To an outside observer, my method is simply
looking at the seal of said spirit. It is a bit more complicated than that. I asked the daemon for a bit of
information. That night, I had a dream involving the spirit. He arrived by appearing in the back of a closet and walking out in a spectral form that became more solid as the dream progressed. We ended up outdoors playing catch with a piece of crumpled up paper. He and I could throw it with the force of a baseball but could catch it just like paper crushed into a ball shape. I actually had fun.

Upon awakening, I thought of the spirit and found the dream was interesting. I called him again. I asked,
“Was there a message on that paper?”
Spirit: “Yes.”
Myself: “Why didn’t you just hand it to me like a regular note?”
Spirit: “I did not want to get too close to you and scare you.”
Myself: “Thank you. Perhaps next time you could just tell me to open up the paper. When I am dreaming I am not always awake enough to notice things like that.”
Spirit: “Most of the time, you are not awake when you are awake!”

I have found all the Lesser Key spirits to have a good sense of humor.

The one magickal thing I will point out is is that the outdoor area was the courtyard of an apartment
complex. Before we went outdoors to play catch, he said that he liked where he lived. He could see five moons. Outside, a lampost that had four white globe lights glowing bright. A little way down the
sidewalk there was another with just a single globe lamp. He mistook these for moons.

This is a common thing with Lesser Key spirits. They mistake light sources. This should give one a clue as to their nature. It may also lead to thoughts on the nature of light which, on the astral, conceals as much as it illuminates.

Monday, January 15, 2018

The Element of Spirit

Of late, I have been working with the element of spirit. This is the prima materia of the alchemists. I have learned a few things in working with it.

The first was that I have been seeing it forever. I simply did not know what I was seeing. The people I asked either did not know or my description was not sufficient for them to understand what I was talking about.

The second is that when elemental spirit comes into contact with humans it burns. When I was starting my path I described this to others as “moon burn”. It would hit me during full moons and be very uncomfortable when it was strong. When I described this burning sensation people thought I was a nuts.  Later, I attributed this to my fiery nature. Wrong. The fire element feels quite different.

Third, if enough of the element can be gathered on the astral it makes things on this plane very hard to look at. One instinctually turns away. This is why so many people can do magick quite well but rail against theurgy. Contact with spirit appears to be an instinctual fear. This is also why people deny their obvious errors. Behind the error, spirit lives. So, not only do people have to face themselves, a hard enough task, but risk seeing spirit behind the veil. This they know only unconsciously but that is enough.

I have the courage to work with spirit. I am working to gather enough to clothe myself in the element. It burns like you would not believe. I love it.