Friday, November 30, 2012

Redefining the Process of Evocation

* For this post, I use the words Greater Neschemah (Immortal Soul), Great Soul and soul interchangeably. 

I have been toying with an idea after having a conversation with a man that goes by the number 6 as a name. The idea is vying for my attention.

My concept of the Greater Neschemah can be reduced to a simple triangle in a circle. This I can grasp quite easily. Though I feel the better image is a tetrahedron within a sphere. The apex being the Keteriol (yeah, I just made that word up) link between microcosm and the macro.

Going back to the original image, the soul remains within the triangle. Anything within the form is harmonious with its nature. The lines of the shape represent a barrier that cannot be crossed by anything not of that soul. Nor can the soul escape its own nature, so defined. Therefore, the soul cannot unify with that within the circle. It can only experience that which is near. That experience in turn modifies, corrects or expands soul-knowledge. This then because the starting point for the next incarnation. What comes near, within the circle but exterior to the triangle, is the realm that the Greater Neschemah exposes to the individual.

Yes, this is intentional. If one's Great Soul doesn't want you to encounter something, you will not.

What is outside the triangle cannot be harmful as your soul cannot be harmed. However, it is not always beneficial to our standard dualistic way of thinking.  There may be all sort of encounters 'out there' that are, from our illusionary standpoint, harmful or helpful. All are really more of a grey area, pun intended. Every experience's ultimate aim is the refinement of the soul.

When we try to grasp something in the grey area and pull it within the triangle, disaster ensues. Yet this is what the undisciplined adventurer does. In his fear and loneliness he seeks that thing which gives him the illusion of power over said emotions realizing too late that his very act of grasping, of pulling the thing in, demonstrates it is not part of his soul nature. If we do that, our awareness will experience loss. This loss teaches the soul what it is not. 

The circle is the entire realm of possible interactions in one's incarnation. Nothing can be encountered outside of the circle. Yet, the classic position for a magician is within the 'protection' of a circle invoking something into a triangle that is external to said circle. Yet, as established above, nothing can be encountered that is external to one's sphere. From my perspective, the circle and triangle were separated in classical work but for chance of union later.

(Note: the image to the left is the classic magician's circle from the Lesser Key of Solomon (Goetia). The magician stand center most in the circle while evoking a spirit, from that book a so-called demon, into the circle.)

Utilizing the classical references breaks my paradigm. In magickal terms, breaking a paradigm without a firm grasp on the newly adopted world view does not leave one with four nickles: It creates disaster.

The magician (i.e. myself) should thus cast a triangle of containment upon himself fully being aware of the boundaries of his soul. The evoked spirit must appear in the grey area. For, in order to encounter something, it must be within one's sphere of awareness.

Both the circle and the triangle are inviolate. There are no safety concerns for those with a profound understanding of this concept. If you doubt it, your prospects are less than desirable.

Should the above be correct and nothing can exist outside the circle, it stands to reason that any spirit thus invoked was already inside one's circle. Again, the circle being all one could possibly encounter in one's life. A classical circle then, is merely a reflection of the obvious state of the natural order while the triangle is the false hope the demon is 'without'. All demons are within. No worries, so is everything else. 

The danger of such invocations is simple error. The error being that the practitioner sees the demon, its abilities or what it can do for the magician, as part of his soul. This is false. Anything you have to reach for is in your sphere but not harmonious to your soul. Thinking it is your soul, leads only to pain or insanity. Keeping your soul integrity is paramount to spirit evocation and life in general.

Maintaining your soul integrity is simple. Follow the words of the great Oracle at Delphi.

"Know Thyself"
"All Things in Moderation, Nothing in Excess."
"Thou Art."

(For more on that click here. Thanks to Frater LL for the link.)

 What the demon does, cannot, will not, impact your soul directly. The demon, or any other spirit you invoke, can only bring closer the experience you wish to have. In short, they shift the grey around so things that were once far become near. It is only by having the experiences brought on by the nearness that allows for the soul to change or grow. If what you desire does not come into your experience, it is not the spirit's unwillingness but your soul refusing the experience.

Nothing has gone wrong. Nothing can go wrong. Everything about the process is perfect.

Note to Critics: No, I haven't tried this using the Lesser Key. My experiments with triangular invocation are ongoing and, to this point successful. I have not invoked or evoked anything into the grey area...yet.

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Angels Fast Descending!

I came home today and pulled left overs out of the fridge before I noticed my Facebook message. Someone messaged me on the DoingMagick page, which has never happened before. It was a long-time client asking for help. Her daughter has cerebral palsy and is uncommunicative. She had been in pain for some time and had a virus or some other bug for about a week. I was asked to help.

I tossed the food back in the fridge and gave it a go using nothing but her a picture from facebook.

When I arrived it was immediately apparent this child's legs are hurting her quite severely. I saw the lights of pain on the astral but there were so many that there was no way I could be effective. I tried them one at a time but I couldn't help with even one point. I then moved to her brain thinking I could solve the problem from that end of the nervous system. No dice. There were too many pain spots.

I asked no one in particular, "How can I help this child?"

Instantly, beings descended from the heavens. They were small, mostly transparent and very dark. Yeah, transparently dark, welcome to my life. So many came calling. I 'heard', "Let us help this creature." Creature? Um...ok. They landed on her legs and chest. I tried to help using Jupiter energy and they pulled away like grease from a soap bubble. I stopped and they returned to her looking at me like, "You did that why exactly?" Oops.

As they got to work, I worked on the virus. I think I did okay with that.

Mom emailed me that soon after she relaxed and used her one syllable to ask to go to bed. She is now resting comfortably and by all appearances is no longer suffering.

That is a VERY nice way to begin the evening.

Magickal Errors

The comments from the fellow that didn't like me working on the Asperger's issue got me thinking. New readers may not be aware that I post EVERYTHING here, including failures and various acts of stupidity on my part. Long term readers have seen the good, the bad and the f----ed up. So, don't get the impression I only post successes. I have let all my ugly hang out for all to see on more than one occasion  Oddly, readership goes way up when I do that.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Related Changes

Something is suddenly changing or maybe not so suddenly. I am going to record the things I have noticed of late. To me they are disjointed but somehow related.
  • I see people arguing and disputing in a friendly way. In the past, I jumped in. Now, I have nothing to say.
  • I have noticed the prevalence of rape in the mythology of the Old Testament, the Greeks and the Romans. Few seem to stand against it.
  • I have two Christian friends that are spiritually involved in my life. One is She of Spirit whom I did the soul reading for. The other is the Disciple of Christ. 
  • I am rarely angry.
  • The Psychic (another friend) told me Isis wanted to chat with me. When I meditated on Her, she chewed me out. "I was the first goddess to contact you. You have my image tattood on your back...[why haven't you called?].
  • My work output at my job has suddenly and dramatically increased, along with my skill level.
  • I am hanging around people that work more intuitively than ever before. I used to work with the traditionally trained.
  • Criticisms are no longer owned wholesale. I consider and accept or reject now. An example is the guy bashing me for helping the Asperger kids. Though, mom set him straight in the comments to the last post.
  • There is a very 'present' vital place on the astral where I can go now. Though, it still doesn't feel like projection, which I have only done a few times. This place is only to be visited with purpose. Junkets are not...correct? right? proper? You get what I mean.
  • It seems the priests of Christ threaten people with hell after death. Those of Paganism seem to have lead me there in this life.
  • All of my magick has been healing work for quite some time.
  • I like people more yet can walk away from them easier.
  • Fear, angst and other emotions are less prevelant.
  • There are no rules to magick, just keys and natural flows.
  • Working with the sun makes me an asshole. No other planet has that effect.
  • I find different perspectives fascinating and see how limiting they all are. 
  • I am teaching people occult things without trying to.
  • I do strange things like throw healing light up above my house and inviting friends to take it. I also am making two overcoming obstacle candles for friends. These will not be done as a ceremonial magician.
  • My magick is less and less experimental now as I know what I can do.
  • I am baffled as to why people have read this far.
Regarding my last post. Jack explained that Venus was conjunct with Saturn that night. Maybe I was just dreaming that. 

Asperger's Update:

"[The less healthy one] is a whole new kid. He pays attention now and does what he is told." Despite criticism that there is nothing from the kid perspective in this work, I feel that any kid wants to be yelled at less by mom and wants to get along at some level. How many kids like mom being upset with them?

Tuesday, November 27, 2012


As many of you know, the Holy Guardian Angel often makes its first appearance in dreams as a cop or other authority figure. Part of the reason for that is cops enforce the law. The HGA is trying to teach you the law of your own soul. The dreams often say, "This is out of bounds," or "What you did today is unlawful."

I have been working with a lot of things outside the realm of ceremonial magick. As it is the the result of the Saturn working, I cannot speak to exactly what I am working with.

Last night, I dreamed of walking up to a cop and asking directions. He told me to avoid route 34. There was a traffic jam. Three plus four is seven. Seven is the number of Netzach, Venus, Desire. Of late, I have been working with that sphere to attract things (plural) into my life. It feels right. Yet, I think I was just told no by my HGA even though the spirits of the sphere seem just fine. 

Funny Thing with Saturn

The other day, I posted about how Saturn was kicking my ass.

The odd thing is that I feel down, experience certain thought patterns, realize that they are old bullshit thought patterns, and discard them. I then bounce to a better state. It is like I keep reliving who I was but in tiny disposable allotments. As Lon DuQuette once told me, "I am glad I am not that guy anymore!" Most of these examples are external but on occasion I see it in the behavior of others.

This is fun, in a temporarily painful sort of way.

I received a sign last night that it is getting time for more path walking. I will do that soon.

Asperger's Update

Mom has been ill. Last night the kids noticed and put themselves to bed early. It was the first time they ever put themselves to bed at all and they did it out of kindess to their mother. This is a long way from waking them up and hearing, "I hate you," as their first words.

This is why I ignored the words of the commenter a few posts ago. Harming them indeed!

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Aspergers Update

As previously reported, I removed an 'iron bar' that was tying the kids at the foot leaving the other bars in place. I did this because during one of my first sessions with them, I could watch the healthy one wiggling his foot as if trying to shake something off. It was very annoying to him. Mom reported to me this afternoon, "[The Healthy One] is still wound up, but he told me tonight that he changed his life and now instead of being bad, he's good. " The other has been better behaved.

Personal Note

I have oft felt that I have been working against the tide of the universe. It was like continually walking uphill with someone hiding the trail. Of late, I feel that the trend is changing. Several people and friends are stepping up to help.

What I didn't notice before was the subtle change between friends of convenience, to friends of virtue to friends of the Work that I am doing.

Things may not get easier but I have slowly, without my even noticing, built a support network.

Friday, November 23, 2012

Healing Aspergers

I haven't worked with the kids since my last post. I am not sure why this happens but it occurs frequently with my healings. I work several times and then....stop. I am not sure if this is the universe giving my work time to fully assimilate or protecting me from too much work, as I am prone to that.

For those of you that are new to the blog, here are links to the previous posts on these kids.

Aspergers II

I woke up at 5 AM Thanksgiving morning and knew I had to work on them. I have no idea why but 5 AM? Really?

I saw the more healthy one first and gave him a boost of energy and then removed the bar that attached his ankle to his brother's ankle. For those of you that haven't clicked on the link, I see iron bars on the astral that link this two together. I think they developed because dad is a wanker and these kids will end up needing to protect each other. Regardless, the one connecting them at the ankle deeply annoyed the healthier one.

This is experimental magick. I leave allowances for error even though I can't recall having made any serious error in healing. In this case, I saved the iron bar on the moon just in case I have to put it back. Yeah, I know that sounds nuts but what can I say?

In doing this, I was under the impression I gave the healthier one a bit too much energy. My intent was to replace the energy he was taking from his brother through the bar. Given the other bars were intact, this seems an odd thing to do now. Doing so felt right at the time.

This morning, I texted my friend and told her that my guess was that both did better on T-day but the healthy one had a bit more energy that normal. She replied that everyone had a great day and yes the healthy one had more energy and was 'into everything'. She was very happy with her holiday and her boys' behavior.

Score one for the good guys!

I am hoping to make permanent changes with this boys as they are young but at the very least I can give a very stressed out mom some good days.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Saturn is Kicking My Ass

I have been dealing with Saturn. More quietly, I have been working with Jupiter and Venus. 

Jupiter brings me joy and smiles and odd looks from people that suddenly like me that used to view me with indifference. I enjoy that entire package.

Venus is pretty much no impact at the moment but I am about to step that up.

Saturn is kicking my ass.

I had a dream of a dead person on a slab of stone. The odd part was the dead person was aware. If felt sorry for him. Against my better judgement I moved closer. He started screaming, "He is alive! He is coming for me!" Then as I approached he asked me if I was alive. Before I could answer he grabbed me. The feeling of being grabbed was so tangible that I checked my body for marks when I woke up.

The more troublesome part is that there are times I just want to give up. I am tired. I am tired of my social difficulties. I am tired of physical pain. I am tired of feeling like I have no real connection to folks. I have a lot of friends now. They care about me. They check in consistently and I love them. I reached a point where the people that I know live the life they work to espouse rather than live in creepy shadows. I like that. These are good people. 

Yet I feel disconnected. I feel like giving up. Oddly, there is no depression to go with this at all. I am not sad. I am not melancholy. I do feel very isolated and worn down.

I am sure this is Saturn. 

My Gal is Back! And not!

My Gal, who is my ex-gf, is back to blogging. She is now doing so under Sorer Gimel. As she says, she is tired of defining herself through someone else. That is my gal! or...a not...

Monday, November 19, 2012

Fallout Begins

The fallout from my path working has begun. There is nothing external this time at all. Everything is internal. I feel like I have taken a 180 degree turn in some things. This is very positive.

The downside is there is a part of me that isn't feeling happy about this at all. I am very tense. I am not emotionally disturbed.

Sunday, November 18, 2012

More on Not-Duality

I have been pondering Jack's words from his post, "The Way of the Thief," which I am assuming is a response to my post, "My God is a Thief." While I respect and thank Jack for introducing me to the idea that my concepts of non-duality may be in error, I am forced to disagree with his perception as well.

I may have erred in my interpretation of his post. There are some conclusions that I find no foundation for, which is unusual in one of his posts. So, I may be missing something.

He writes:

“Have not there been among those vulgarly styled the wisest, such as have collected (their wealth) for the great chief? and among those styled the most sage such as have guarded it for him? How do I know that it has been so? Formerly, Lung-fang was beheaded; Pi-kan had his heart torn out; Khang Hung was ripped open; and Dze-hsu was reduced to pulp (in the Kiang). Worthy as those four men were, they did not escape such dreadful deaths. The followers of the robber Kih asked him, saying, 'Has the robber also any method or principle (in his proceedings)?' 
He replied, 'What profession is there which has not its principles? That the robber in his recklessness comes to the conclusion that there are valuable deposits in an apartment shows his sageness; that he is the first to enter it shows his bravery; that he is the last to quit it shows his righteousness; that he knows whether (the robbery) may be attempted or not shows his wisdom; and that he makes an equal division of the plunder shows his benevolence. Without all these five qualities no one in the world has ever attained to become a great robber.' 

I can say the same of the domestic abuser:

What profession is there which has not its principles? That the tyrant in his recklessness comes to the conclusion that there is value in stealing and subordinating the spirit of a woman shows his sageness; that he is the first to impose his will upon her shows his bravery; that he is the last to quit it shows his righteousness; that he knows this woman will submit or not shows his wisdom; and that he deigns to feed her shows his benevolence. Without all these five qualities no one in the world has ever attained to become a great brute.

I can turn it still to the priest

What profession is there which has not its principles? That the priest in his recklessness comes to the conclusion that there is value in seeing the face of G-d shows his sageness; that he is the first to pray for the necessary instruction shows his bravery; that he is the last to quit it shows his righteousness; that he knows G-d will reveal himself is his wisdom; and that he shares his accumulated knowledge shows his benevolence. Without all these five qualities no one in the world has ever attained to become a man of spirit.

Yet these things are games and games alone. Such rationalizations serve only as walls of spirit, imprisoning the mind and soul. Non-duality is in the Being, not tricks of mind born of philosophers.

I am exactly what I am. Shall others feel fear or love or anything in between, I will remain unfolding. I am that which I am as is anyone else. If you want to be a thief by all means, do so, yet go forth on your raids without my blessing. Crowley once wrote something like, you have the right to kill me if you don't like my hat but it too must be your will to go to prison. Crowley was quite correct.

I have seen such musings as Jack offers enacted by others with the 'fuck you if you can't take a joke attitude.' The problem is when someone inverses the process, the party of the first part can't take the joke either. I saw one man of this sort turn so hard on a woman with curses that her life shattered and she moved into poverty 1,500 miles away from all she has known. How his magick shattered her albeit fragile life is one of the saddest stories of magick I have ever witnessed. If it is all such a joke, why the vicious revenge?*

This philosophy of Nietzche eventually turns into self-aggrandizement. I have never been a fan of such constructs, as a glimpse of world history demonstrates its conclusions far better than I.

*Please note I am not implying that Jack had anything whatsoever to do with that story. As far as I can tell, Jack is a decent sort of fellow.  

Saturday, November 17, 2012

The Pathwalking Itself

Last night's post was very short. Sometimes, that is all I can manage.

The set up for my walking the paths ritual was much like this post from January 2011, called Walking the Path of the Devil. In that set-up, I kept receiving images reflecting the idea that we are all one.The same occurred this time.

The big difference is that in this rite, I used the tools associated with the paths.

Devil -- Lamp
Hanged Man -- Cup of Wine and Cross (drawn on the wine glass)
Justice -- Equal-armed Cross
Geburah -- I hadn't prepared for this but spontaneously lifted my sword from the wall.

I also performed the rite within a space delineated by the triangle of Binah.

This was not my best work. I felt rushed, even though I had everything prepared the night before. I mailed it in and made some ritual mistakes. Though, I feel the ritual was beneficial.

Walking the Path of the Devil

This significant change here was that I walked from Hod to Tipereth the first time. For this ritual, I walked form Tipereth to Hod. It was different. The above link shares what I perceived the first time. This time, I heard the following message, "Relish your arrogance for it is who you are. Be confident in all things for that is your right. If that means paying deeper attention to detail do that." The emotion was one of power of place. This is a bear walking in the forest. This is not the arrogance of being better than or more entitled. It is the arrogance of knowing one could be wrong but acting anyway, no analysis paralysis. It is the power of being fully you in this moment. I dare you to knock me off this path sort of thing.

The real stunning part here is that I feel like Frater Bonehead. You are telling me that it never occurred to me to walk the paths in both directions? Really? If you missed that to, I recommend doing it.

Walking the Path of Mem

The language I heard here speaks for itself, "The path of Mem: accept all things, avoid nothing, do nothing, enjoy the storm around you." I am not sure how to resist nothing. I resist drinking a full bottle of wine when I drink. I resist eating food that isn't good for me. That said, I have fully accepted impulses to act in certain situations without questioning myself. 

The actual walking of the path was tough. I felt a huge weight upon me and had to take slow deliberate steps. Moreover, I could not straighten my legs to a full standing position. The observer may have been amused by my gait. I was told,  "This is the weight of fate." I understood the forces of time, places, circumstance, attitudes of the moment and how it all places one on a given course. This is not a question of free will.

Walking the Path of Justice

"You are just and so this path will be less difficult. You will be shown where you have had justice and where you have not."

 Stepping within Geburah

The sword in my hand moved of its own accord touching my forehead and each shoulder. I was knighted "He who is at the entrance." This is not the loftiest title! I was told, "You will learn the proper use of strength and its improper use." I was also told I could only enter partway into Geburah, the threshold.  

I was also told quite clearly, "You are not a 6=5." That number is the designation of the initiate of Geburah. Funny, I didn't think I needed to be told that but I guess I did. 


When I stirred the forces of Hod I was told by the archangel to go for a walk after the ritual. When I completed the walk of water (the Hanged Man), I was told to drink the wine I was holding as the ritual closed and then down other glass just before my walk. 

I followed all these instructions. On said walk, I could feel myself being given directions on where to walk and I followed them, despite temptation not to. There was no significance to the path I took aside from following the directions. The path was so prescribed that I couldn't even cut across my own lawn to get back inside.

Friday, November 16, 2012

Walking the Paths of The Devil, Hanged Man and Justice

I performed the ritual to walk these paths Thursday night. The result is has been confidence, action and silence.

Thursday, November 15, 2012

My God is a Thief (Hermes)

It seems that some claim that magicians downplay the thief part of Hermes. I cannot speak for all magicians, only for myself.

I have invoked Hermes on many occasion  I gave him credit of helping me develop the Manifestation Meditation, my astral sight, my understanding (limited as it may be) of how we are all connected and a host of other things. I have expressed his laughter so fully that my working partners have been shocked and, from all appearances, a bit scared. I am a little disappointed he hasn't opened whatever blockage that keeps me from writing on the book. Though, that is really my responsibility.

At no time has he asked me to steal anything nor do I recall even the temptation to do so. I suppose if you call my purchasing of clothes made by someone in a sweatshop or other such things theft of a fair wage or something, I may be a thief. I have posted pictures here that are not mine to post. I don't do that as much as I used to. Sometimes, I take a longer break than allotted at work. Aside from that, I cannot think of any stealing in my life.

That said, I fully recognize that in his lore he is a thief. While I do not see within me an internal reflection of that fact, I see plenty in the outside world. There are many participants in commerce that are thieves. One look at our financial meltdown can show plenty of examples. I would have to be a major hypocrite not to see and own the thief-like aspects of His nature. I have, after all, pointed out the horrors inflicted by Yahweh and cannot figure out why anyone would want to meet that particular deity. So, I have to own the thief aspect of Hermes.

However, I do not take that as permission to steal. One of our fellow bloggers wrote about how it is acceptable to steal from Llewellyn because they publish so much garbage. My solution would not be to buy anything from them and to tell authors that migrate to that publisher that I will not buy their work under that label. Someone else's questionable practices does not make it permissible me engage in likewise questionable practices. This is a basic fact of living that everyone's mother taught them and for good reason. Two wrongs do not make a right.

I do not hold any value in theft or deception despite the fact that the god I am most likely to call on has both those traits. In this, I am told that I am dualistic when I claim that theft and deception is not something to be valued. I am asked, "What if I lie to save your life?" Well, that would be a good thing, I suppose. However, I cannot think of a single example where someone's lying has saved the life of anyone I know. The extreme example does not prove the point. In fact, if you have to go that far to justify something, I'm going with the idea that the argument is spurious to begin with.

I think my friend may have a much different concept of non-duality than I. To me, if you're arguing that one can engage in destructive behavior because putting a value judgement on something is dualistic, you've missed the point. Taking action you like, destructive or otherwise, when the whim strikes you because you are 'above dualism' isn't enlightenment, it is selfishness.

First of all, the full understanding that it all works out over the very long term, does not make it acceptable to do needless damage in the now. I quote Brandon Myers, would be wrong to say that Temperance is the quality of someone that puts a lid on the sensual side of her being. Temperance is not the same as abstinence, and certainly not the same as chastity. The Temperate person is allowed to enjoy sensual pleasure, even encouraged to do so. However, as Aristotle says, " is right to be a lover of self. Though self-love of an ordinary sort is wrong." Ordinary self-love is that of the indulgent, greedy person. "The bad man ought not to be a lover of self, since he will follow his base passions and so injure not only himself but his neighbors." The idea behind Temperance, here, is that one should pursue pleasures intelligently, without becoming 'addicted', so to speak, and so one will not end up causing harm to oneself or others.

You may live with an understanding of a non-dualistic nature but those around you may not. Do not make them experience the negative side of their world view for some minor want.

Secondly, gauging behavior and its ramifications is not dualistic, it is wisdom. A man who has lost a marriage due to cheating on his wife, may choose another lifestyle in order to preserve the respect of a new partner. Similarly, one that lies, cheats and steals, devotee of Hermes or not, is likely to face similar social consequence and may learn that avoiding those behaviors results in a more pleasant social interactions.

Living within the auspiciousness of non-dualism means living in singularity. There are no longer either/or decisions but ways of Being. Crowley once said that a man living his true will cannot be interfered with as the entire universe will conspire to be with him. Robert would say that those who are unfolding do so, not only by aiding others but being aided by them*. Such states of Being allow human flourishing while smaller definitions retard the same.

It seems to be that adopting the thief aspect of Hermes would be a diversion for the unwary traveler.

*Amazing though it is, I have a Disciple of Christ aiding my walk at the moment. By that, I do not mean a Christian, I mean a disciple.“Every person will know by this that you are my disciples, if you shall have love one to the other."

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Whiter than White

Saturday night, I went to the featureless land of stormy sky, took with me a companion of fire, and asked what I needed to see next. We walked purposely for a bit,. We didn't cover much ground, before I saw my soul, in whole or in part I do not know. The purest white image of a man, perhaps in Grecian robes, shone through the darkness. In his right hand, he held the scales. I knew the meaning.

Soon, I will be walking the path of Justice, Lamed, the Justice card. Prior to that, I must formerly walk the path of Water, Mem, the path of the Hanged Man.

To see one's own soul in such a way was shocking. Whiter than white, I think the Bible says. After, I was numb. Today, I am overwhelmed with emotion, love, peace and some fear. I mourn my father on this Veteran's Day weekend. The emotions I feel are intense and are only disturbing in that sense.

I am spending the day alternating between cleaning my house, watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix and reading Greek mythology. The first and last are spiritually inclined activities. I am seeing many connections in the mythology and my occult life up to present.

During an IM chat, someone said that the process is perfect until we interfere. My reply was that we cannot interfere. It is like trying to divert the ocean. If we try, our efforts are quickly overcome. Sometimes, I have to say something before I realized I have come to own the concept.

Then I came up with this:

There have been those who, with intent or not, have tried to stop my progress. There have been times when I, with intent or not, have tried to do the same. All such efforts have failed. My progress or lack thereof is a force of nature that cannot be trifled with by efforts of a man, at least, not for long.

Saturday, November 10, 2012

Upon Seeing Myself

They say that no man can look upon the face of G-d and live; They say that we are all one with G-d.
They say to look within to find G-d; They say G-d will be staring back at you. No one tells you these things all together, link by link.

Be warned.

Oracle of Delphi

We have all heard the oracle's injunction, "Know Thyself". Two lesser known inscriptions read, "All things in moderation and nothing in excess," and "Thou Art". These statements are the foundation of theurgy.

Know Thyself

The truth of this statement is obvious. It is also so ubiquitous that we can fool ourselves into believing we know ourselves. It isn't enough to say, "I like baseball." One has to be know why, I like baseball because it is non-violent physical competition that requires one to think things through in advance while reacting in the moment. How is that important? Violence, save the preservation of self or others, is not conducive to my soul. I value testing myself and improving, which is required in sport. I admire the virtue of thinking a bit ahead, of anticipating the possible scenarios and then dealing with what actually happens. I can see that when I do that, my skills are admired and when I do not, I am challenged.

Would I not be better off emotionally (at least) if I lived a life that incorporated, not baseball, but activities that contain, what I feel, are the virtues of the game?

Internalizing our external likes (in my case baseball) allows us to understand our valued virtues and recreate them. Brandon Myers speaks of friends of convenience versus friends of virtue. The former are those we are forced to meet, at work, socially and the like with whom we get along. These friendships can grow to be valued and supportive but they will fade. Friends of virtue are those people that share our virtues. For instance, I am a theurigist. Theurgy requires a level of introspection, lack of perpetual denial and a desire to grow spiritually. People that possess these traits share my virtues and thus the bonds that form are much stronger and can last a lifetime. This can be applied across the board in life.

When we test these insights, we can find valuable clues as to the nature of our souls. I have long stated that we have to live within our virtues as they are the boundaries of our greater neschemah. So, from the above, the traits of my soul include, self-challenging, anticipatory thinking, proper reaction, introspection, willingness to admit error (and thus be self-adjusting) and spiritual growth, the latter being harder to define every day.

Those that read this space will look at that and say, "Well you didn't do that here or that there." Of course! Knowing one's virtues is not the same as being constantly able to live each one.

All Things in Moderation and Nothing in Excess

 At first blush, I thought this was another way of saying one must be in balance. Instead, it is an instruction manual of sorts.

I posted not long ago of drinking an entire bottle of wine. As rarely as I drink, that is a lot of alcohol. Yet, it was the perfect amount that night in order to usher through a moment of clarity. One another occasion, a single glass can be an excess.

This injunction forces us to think things through quite deeply. We all know that too much of anything is bad by definition. We can also deny ourselves too strongly and have experienced too little because of too much self-judgement, insecurity, or religiously motivated austerity.

What is too much for you may be not enough for another. The process of determining what is too much or too little is very personal. Yet the exercise narrows us into a set of behaviors that is again conducive to the nature of our souls.

Thou Art

Those that are, truly Are, live within the nature of their souls. This is a narrow set of parameters for the individual but widely various over the scope of humanity. Some are meant to be monks that are hidden away, others outrageously flamboyant and the rest of us fall along the scale. It isn't where you fall on the scale in relation to another but living, thinking, being and expressing within the glorious and freeing confines of your soul.

This is a truly powerful place to be. One is unassailable, in a sense, but that word does Being little justice. Being, is continually unfolding in perfect accord with one's soul-nature. Being such allows us, with little effort, to live a life of tikkun olam (world repair).

I recently heard it described this way. If all the lights in Madison Square Garden were turned off, a single match could be seen by all. True enough but we live in a lighted world. We are not meant to be seen by all but by those whose inner darkness is so severe that they need a bit of light to reorientate themselves to their inner nature and thus G-d.

Be the match that few see.

Friday, November 9, 2012

Roaming Under a Cracked Sky

I am a bit stuck in what to write here.

How can I say that I roamed a flat plane, saw the sky, blue and red, become purple only to settle into a red-grey-purple storm of lightening as a woman of power strode about? How can I tell you that I was there to heal her and I saw the Goddess within my human friend? If I told you I begged her to sing a siren song of seduction drawing those who hear to the deeper love of her healing ways, would that make sense?

What can one say about seeing someone be a body, the world tree and star all at once? Can I share the purity of the place? The raw power? The understanding of the creative force there to be left to its own devices or to the will of the magician?

Can I tell you how normally bizarre it was to see my spirit guide, whom I have yet to met, walking with her?  How do I communicate what it was like to go back to that place, alone, and call down the creative lightening bolt of G-d's love and have it pass into me without so much as rattling my astral bones? Can I communicate how cool it was to be in utter pain today yet feel my heart pulsing with the left over love of that experience?

If I said these things, would you believe me? If you did, would it matter to your own work?

If I said how deeply I love you, dear reader that I have never met and never will, would it matter? If I shared how the useless anger within me is falling prey to love of nothing and everything would you care?

What can I write that does not diminish and yet still shares?

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Seeing Energy in an Aura

In a meeting at work, I saw a woman's aura. Normally, I see a uniform light around a person. This had the more or less average blue hue. Around it, was a thin line of red and a bit thicker line of purple. She is someone that I have insight into due to a psychic flash during a conversation last week. Her motivation is that her self worth is derived from doing well. Any mistake she makes diminishes her internal value as a human. This is such a sad motivation for someone with a kind heart and awesome talent. Though, it is likely quite common.

I believe the red line is her internal severity. She is harsh with herself. The purple line is the lowerish astral, realm of formation, air. She hasn't expanded past that.

The cool part was that when she asked a question and was seriously seeking an answer, her aura opened to receive. When she was speaking and had made a decision, a red line appeared outside her aura. No point in arguing when you see that!

It was really cool to see the astral change real time like that, a first for me.

Freakish Change (More Getting Right with Time)

The Saturn working fallout continues.

I have often reported anger issues here. Part of that was that I was so deeply living in the past that decade old actions played through my mind as if they were still happening. It is impossible to forgive and let go some things quickly. We have all experienced that but being stuck out of time means any letting go is too quick because the negative event is still happening.

Now that those issues are fading into their proper time zones, it is opening up many doors for me.

  • I am a much more intense listener in face-to-face conversations. This is helping me understand both the speaker and myself on a much deeper level. On-line, I am still a bit too much self-absorbed but that will improve. 
  • My psychic senses have increased to the point where I have had conversations that seem very normal, yet I 'see' the other person's underlying motivations quite clearly. The upside is that these motivations are personal drives and have nothing to do with me. Had they been about me, I would have just assumed I was projecting. This will allow me to satisfy the other person's unspoken needs to a greater extent and teach me about other human behaviors that have always baffled me.
  • In several conversations at work, I have found myself laughing rather than getting upset. 

The biggest shift has been described by Flower as, "freakish change". Rather than trying to suppress anger I am working within to push love, compassion, caring and related emotions out. In short, I am being something rather than burying something. Flower reports me more relaxed and emanating so much warm fuzzy energy that she is finding it a bit disconcerting but in a good way, "even your posture has changed."

I was able to do this because something clicked inside of me. I see myself as angry so I am angry. Yet, there is a part of me that few in my non-magickal life see, compassion. I open my home to those in need, do healings, listen to people's emotional issues, am supportive, guide people spiritually in a very soft way and the like. So, since I am these things too, I may as well let myself feel the emotion of them in daily life and reserve anger for only appropriate situations. This has worked out great so far.

There has only been a week of this but I feel that it is a significant and permanent change.

Getting right with time has been nothing short of huge.

Monday, November 5, 2012

Chortling Happiness

The Saturn working gave me a method of getting to know certain things. The image of Binah to me to keep this information to myself. Though, frankly, I think it not so much a secret to anyone that has studied the symbolism of Western Ceremonial Magick.

Today, I used that method on myself. I did not project anything outward.

There were two difficult conversations at work today. I am well known for getting too emotional (angry) at work about these conversations. During the first, the other party was angry and I was laughing. In the second, two people were angry. One became so angry that he left the room...twice! I was on his side of the discussion but I was fine. I was smiling.

In both conversations, people that were normally calm lost it. I, whom normally loses it, was amused, laughing and having a good time.

I laughed and chortled all the way home because I didn't have to suppress my anger. I didn't have any! Progress! I am so very excited, giddy. I am still chortling.

The Agnostic Update

The Angostic has gone from being a virtual shut in, afraid to even apply for work or take a bus, to being employed for two full months. She loves her job. Today, she asked for a raise and pulled down an extra 4K a year!

I am so proud of her that I could have walked on clouds all the way home!

She claims her success if from the Manifestation Meditation but cannot explain why it works. We have agreed that it is probably aliens from Pluto. Since she doesn't know if she has a soul, that explanation works as well as any.

M Theory

Science buffs will be disappointed if they expect me to link M Theory and magick in an intelligent way.  I know virtually nothing regarding M Theory...

In doing the Manifestation Meditation, I am getting consistent messages to do magick -- a lot of magick. So much so that 'normal state' Robert is balking. Doing that much magick should blow my head off. Frankly, while I am pretty spiritually gonzo at times, I need a break from scattering parts of my brain all over the universe.

The other night, I sat in meditation. I focused on how I am supposed to organize all the magick that I am supposed to do which includes:
  • dealing with the elemental kings in a single ritual and uniting them under spirit (shin)
  • learning about each planet
  • doing a long overdue ritual to consecrate a friend's sword talisman
  • walking the paths that boarder Tipereth
  • creating a couple of obstacle removing candles
The first act has to be dealing with the elemental kings. This didn't come so much from the meditation but I can feel the vibration when I think about it. This is close. In theory, this will be pretty straight-forward. This is basically doing an LBRP or an SIRP (Supreme Invoking Ritual of the Pentagram) and using the hierarchical vibratory formula to call them. I will post details on that when I perform the rite. 

The problem may lie in the energies themselves...or not. The Saturn working proved I was out of sync with time and that such things can be corrected. It has led me to the idea that some of the other issues I face are from being out of sync with this realm. That thought led me to believe that the prompting to work with the kings is going to resolve that issue. Should it not, I will work with the tarot princesses. I am not exactly sure how yet but I will cross that bridge should it appear on the horizon.

The meditation revealed an image of the next magickal act that looked exactly like this. 

This tells me that I have to walk these paths next. I find it curious that I am not being told to seal the deal by working the path of Teth (Leo) that links sephiroth four and five. 

When I saw this, I knew I would receive confirmation and I did Saturday afternoon. I was watching a documentary called the Nature of Existence (companion series) in which someone mentioned M Theory and stated that it is the way to understanding all things

Agrippa used the term "all things" extensively.
  • "for Love is the chariot of the Soul, the most excellent of all things, descending from the Intelligences above even to the most inferior things. It congregates and converts our mind into the Divine beauty, preserves us also in all our works,"
  • "Divine revelations wholly, peirceth [pierceth] all things through the whole world, for seeing it descends from above from the first light, and remains neerest [nearest] to it, is far more noble and excellent than the arts, sciences and beliefes arising from inferior things: this being darted into our intellect by reflexion [reflection] from the first light. To conclude, by faith man is made somewhat the same with the superior powers and enjoyeth the same power with them:"
  • "Therefore Linus the Poet sings all things are to be beleeved [believed], because all things are easie [easy] to God; nothing is impossible to him, therefore nothing incredible;"
  • "Seeing that the being and operation of all things, depend on the most high God,"
Of course, this is also mentioned in the Oath of the Abyss, which I have taken:

1. I, ___________, a member of the Body of God, hereby bind myself on behalf of the Whole Universe, even as we are now physically bound unto the cross of suffering:
2. that I will lead a pure life, as a devoted servant of the Order:
3. that I will understand all things:
4. that I will love all things:
5. that I will perform all things and endure all things:
6. that I will continue in the Knowledge and Conversation of my Holy Guardian Angel
7. that I will work without attachment
8. that I will work in truth:
9. that I will rely only upon myself:
10. that I will interpret every phenomenon as a particular dealing of God with my soul.
And if I fail herein, may my pyramid be profaned, and the Eye closed to me.

I am not claiming that I will understand all things after doing this work. However, I will understand more things which brings me closer to understanding all theory. Of course, we are emptying the ocean with a fork here.

The sword and obstacle removing candles are another story.

The latter is a project I feel really compelled to do as an act of service. I offered to make such candles at no charge for the two people that responded first to my offer on Facebook. They were immediately snatched up. That has to occur after the elemental working but likely before the rest.

The sword is a promise to a friend delayed way too long. On the other hand, I do believe in the virtue  of patience as it applies to magickal timing. I do not forget my promises or my love for my friends. This one is just taking more patience than I expected.

The magick mentioned above will take place prior to the next equinox. It should make for an interesting life and interesting reading.

Saturday, November 3, 2012

The Magickal Virtue of Prudence

Prudence…is the ability to discern what is and what is not conducive to the good life. This isn’t a question of balancing the short term and long term interests. It is also not precisely right to say it balances one’s own interests with those of other people. Prudence discerns what is good for humanity in general, both now and in the future, both near and far, and not just for yourself or any other particular person, except that individuals are representatives of the species.  -- Brandon Myers, The Other Side of Virtue (pg 100-1)

In reading Myers, I am finding a kindred spirit regarding my belief structure. The difference being that he communicates so very well. Further, I feel like he takes my ideas and expands upon them. I am learning a great deal.

Over the years, I have been a lone voice in the wilderness saying that the magic user is responsible for ALL the fallout of his magick. If I get a job using magick, I need to be concerned with the other fellow that didn't get the job had I not used my skills. Most folks strongly disagree. 

This I believe comes from the overvaluation of individualism and the rejection of collective responsibility and the mutual aid that makes societies work.

Further, it is my belief and experience that the more we do to help the other fellow the better we feel about ourselves. In my case, nothing brings me greater pleasure than learning that someone has been positively impacted by my healing, a soul reading or their work with the manifestation meditation. I believe this joy in helping is a fundamental human trait the practice of which has been watered down through the myth of American rugged individualism. 

Most magicians I know seem to feel as if their power gives them a right to the job or other object of their magick and write-off the impact on others, as long as there isn't direct physical harm. 

Neo-Wicca goes to the other extreme and uses the term "harm none". Frankly, I find this an impossible injunction, especially when it applies to other forms of life. Following harm none to its full extent, as some claim they do, would make it impossible to eat without going through some pretty serious spiritual gymnastics regarding the cow willingly giving up its life for my barbecue. Suddenly, we have to apply the sacred hunter wisdom of thanking the deer for its life to the industrial butcher. 

When it comes to magick, it is impossible not to impact others. Trying to figure out what harm really means could send one into an ontological, moral and ethical tizzy! 

Magicians give the briefest, albeit sincere, nod to such problems. We may see the injunction to follow the will of the magician so long as her loved ones are not harmed, including pets, nor any other human (she knows). 

I suppose that is better than nothing.

In my magick, I am going to work under the above definition of prudence. I wish to make the 'good life' available to all. I want to help those around me as best I can, without going to Mother Theresa-like extremes. So, were I to do magick to gain a job, I would add, "open a gateway to a job wherein my work will assist in the creation of additional employment for another." Should I seek a love, "open the pathway to my love and allow me to, when the timing is right, to introduce another future couple to each other." Sure, the wording is a bit sloppy at this point but I think the intent is clear.

I do not believe it is enough not to harm. It is my belief that the good life, desired by us all, can be helped along by such wording in our works. Further, I feel that power brings with it responsibility. I will act in accordance with my virtue in this regard.