Monday, September 28, 2009

The Elements

Of late, I've been in a study and think mode rather than get in the temple and work mode. As a result this space hasn't seen much activity.

On the upside, I am working on doing some elemental evocations and that should liven things up a bit.

At some point over the last month or two, I've begun playing with the interchange of the elements and the tetragrammaton. I have some good ideas but I think it is time to learn about the base elements. I will move on to sentient forms of the astral elements. Perhaps I will get a far as the specific but that seems to be a reach at this stage of my development.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

You Saved My Life Twice

So said my brother-in-law to me tonight. Truth be told, the first time I helped with that exact intention. Though only My Gal and my dad know that. The second time, I just did what anyone else would have done. Frankly, it wasn't even the slightest bit heroic. All I had to do was get out of bed and drive.

What surprised me is that I had nothing to say to that except something lame about he could have called 911 just as easily.

So, what does that say about humans that such moments are difficult? What does it say about me that they are?

"If you had my head, these are the thoughts you'd need to entertain" - My Gal

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Off Topic

I do try to keep politics off the blog but sometimes I fail. If you wait towards the end of this, you'll be cracking up. I hope.

self-test preliminary results

Well, there is an uptick in 'my issue' but with much less anger and pain. It is as if part of me overwhelms the lesson of the shrub enough to get the mind going but not so much the emotonal issues coincide.

Much better but more work to be done.

Monday, September 14, 2009


It has been my experience that when the alchemical initiatory lessons are learned the universe circles back on you and tries again. It is as if it the Universe is needs to make sure you really got it. I suppose that is true but also the lessons get subtler. Can you pass now? Can you pass now?

So, this time around. I thought I'd take it upon myself to administer a self test. In this case, it involved the lesson of the shrub and my obsession with my former group. I invited someone not involved in the original explosions but very involved with the group for dinner. We talked about a wide variety of things, including my experience with the group while intentionally (on both our parts) leaving out any specifics.

Will I fall back into obsession? Will I get angry? Will I feel the need to go back an clarify?

I've just returned. I feel relaxed but there is a feeling of a conflict. It feels as if I am concentrating on holding something in place but I am not doing it through consciously. I can simply feel the resulting tension.

So far so good. Time will tell.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Aggressive Magick

Twice yesterday the topic of negative or attack magick came up. The first conversation was private and about the work of negative (for lack of a better word) shamans. The second, was on Jason Miller's blog, which if you don't read on a regular basis, you should.

There are three types of folks that I've seen practice magick intended to do damage to another person.

The Wounded Animal -- These folks are likely the most common. They've been hurt or traumatized at some point in their lives and that comes out in a need for both control and misplaced revenge. Though, the people involved would likely only rarely glimpse their own control and revenge issues. These are the same people that either find a reason to dislike folks or engineer all sorts of psycho/social damage to the folks around them. In the magickal world, most of these people are cowards. They want to punch you in the nose but are afraid you'd hit them back. So, they use social games and hide behind magick. They also attack people our of pure fear and insecurity brought on by those aforementioned traumas.

Response: The normal human response to people that play these games is anger. I have no ethical qualms about defending oneself from these people's games. However, doing so with compassion and prayers for the person's healing seems a more spiritual response than throwing fire balls. Don't mistake me, if one of these people is capable of doing real damage hitting them hard and fast is well within one's rights. I simply find that most of the time that isn't necessary. They will turn their attacks to the next person soon enough. Their wills are constantly being weakened by the next perceived threat. They are often more a nuisance than a threat. Your normal warding will simply deflect much of these stuff. Have you done your banishings today?

The Bully -- These are people looking for a reason to launch an attack in the name of 'defense' but any excuse will do. They can find affront and danger almost anywhere. Often times, the more self-aware of these folks merely know or believe they are the biggest kid on the block and are capable of magickally stealing other people's milk money. Often, these are really Wounded Animals too. However, they have reached a point where being nice, kind and full of so-called white light, is useless. Unbalanced Mercy is but weakness that allows evil to flourish. Unbalanced Severity is but cruelty and barrenness of the soul. So says some Golden Dawn ritual.

Response: Hire Jason Miller and be done with them. Or, if you're good enough, do it yourself. The latter is the option most of us would choose. However,it is only the egoist that ever believes he is always the best. Get help when you need it. The other option is just to quietly move out of their lives. I will eschew discussions on protecting others at this point. Often, that is just another excuse for committing acts of revenge but not always.

The Magician: Those who are willing to respond to the willful(or the sub-aware) act of negative magick with opposing force. In twenty years I've launched negative magick three times. I can think of one situation where I should have from the distant past. Though, discretion was probably the better part of valour as I would have had my ass handed to me and I didn't know Jason back then.

If I felt pressed to perform such magicks as many as three times a year, I'd hope my magician friends would call me short. While I agree magickal attacks happen more often that Llewellyn would have you believe, if I found yourself on the receiving that many attacks from other practitioners I'd want to ask myself why.

My response to negative magick is pre-emptive. When I learn a new skill, I often do some sort of home or personal protection with it. I use the theory that many different kinds of spells and traps will either deflect, absorb, throw back or at least severely weaken anything incoming. If such people can not get to me, I don't have to waste my energy on them nor even be distracted. I can do what I perceive the best use of magick is, spiritual growth and development. Well, that and exploring the unknown depths.

P.S. Prayer works. Use it.

Friday, September 11, 2009

Speaking with the Dead

I have been experimenting with lucid dreaming again. I am using my own system for getting there.Which, frankly, has not worked.

However, I am remembering more dreams and over the last month, I've dreamed of many dead people or people so far out of my life that they are to me (not in a bad way)

For instance, I dreamed of my childhood friend's sister Diana last night. She was simply confused as to who I am. Which makes sense as her world view is radically different from my own. I also dreamed of being the object of a Wiccanish, Golden Dawn, Illumaniti rite in which my recently deceased grandmother was the high priestess.I literally fell down laughing. Oddly, I had a similar laughing fit when Pan dropped into my life last February. More oddly, that is about six months time or just a little more.

I can not say that any of these dreams of the dead have revealed any great information, aside from perhaps the continuity of life. Yet, I find it fascinating nonetheless. I can not recall dreaming of the dead with any regularity at all. Though, not long ago, I had many a dream of people being killed and attempted murders. There is obviously death/rebirth theme going on in my psyche.

I have been doing a lot of work with the tarot pips, developing classes and the like on them. I am considering doing it at Pantheacon this year. We'll see.

Monday, September 7, 2009

The Anti-Christ

Sometimes, all that is needed is a change in perspective.

The perspective most in our culture have of the Anti-Christ is one of evil. If Christ is good then the Anti-Christ must be bad, the ultimate adversary. This is logical.

In my recent study of the tarot I realized that if we number the possible cards thus:

The major arcana as 1 through 22 (yes I know the fool is supposed to be zero, bear with me, and then we continue the pattern as aces = 23, kings = 24 and so on down to the ten and then we add up those numbers we get a very interesting number. If you added the numbers 1,2,3,...36, the sum is 666.

Given that the tarot is a perfect representation of the entirety of the Universe, what does this mean? It means that the entirety of the creative world below the highest plane of Atziluth (fire) is in perfect manifestation. The world of Briah (water) has been raised to its Tipereth. So have the worlds of Yetzirah (air) and Assiah (earth).

What does this have to do with the Anti-Christ?

If we choose to see the Christ as he who intercedes with "God" or as I prefer the Creatix for our salvation, the anti-Christ would be he that intercede for himself with That Which Creates or the Divine Archetect, if you will. He that through his own trial and suffering has perfected each and every part of himself and then can literally stand as a microcosmic redeemer or a "little sunshine".

And before someone thinks I am meaning to say that I have reached that status, the answer is no. I have not.

Picture from:

My Current Work

Of late I've been focused on the elements and the cycles of creation. Generally, I am focusing on the various patterns and how they influence the creative/magickal process.

This is very much a study of the tetragrammaton within the micro and macrocosm.

I am working on this through the study of the tarot pip cards and various forms of fluid condensers and, for lack of a better term, potions. I am sure someone will tell me the correct technical term for what I am doing at some point but potions works for me at the moment.

I am amazed at how much I've been learning and the increases in drive and focus since I learned the lesson of the shrub documented previously. That lesson turned the volume down on my 'issue' 99%.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

The CM Way

Perhaps a better title would be "A Ceremonial Magicians Way. Regardless...

The intuitive types are often able to make great leaps with just enough understanding to have created a base and a target. I applaud their efforts and successes.

Some time back, My Gal and I worked the Tablet of Union of the Enochian systems. We diligently worked it row by row until all the vertical and horizontal rows were skried and recorded. At the time, someone, I can't recall who, posted something somewhere decrying those that have to take each and every step, endlessly cataloguing what they encounter. Apparently, methodical patience and practice was not this person's way.

This blog has not been as active because of the methodical work done back then. Having experienced the whole of the spirits of the elements, I have been enlightened regarding certain patterns. I am working on documenting those patterns for various classes and perhaps a book. The former will likely turn into a Pantheacon lecture. The latter may never happen. It depends on how long this energy patten lasts.