Sunday, December 28, 2008

XCAI Second Attempt

This time things went better. When I did the LBRP, I traveled to the place Hcoma has shown me and vibrated from there. My Gal said it seemed like I was pushing things out in a very protective way.

When I reached XCAI, I said, "Are you XCAI?"
"Yes."
"Are you the true and holy angel from the tablet of union?"
"Yes."
"Did we contact you the last time?"
"No."
"What was that?"
"It was not of us but it was. You will not understand that." (Note: My Gal was also told she would not understand something in this session.)
"Why did we get that?"
"You must to pronounce every letter until you know which are silent."
Apparently, we did not enunciate the A properly.
"I am..."
"Yes, I know and you know we know..."
"What is your scent?"
"Rose. This is why you recoiled at the smell of the frankincense. I am much more particular about scent than Exarp." I found this interesting because Exarp's scent was of all blooming flowers. EHNB was of rose.
"What are you?"
"I manifest air. Exarp is air. I am that which allows air to manifest on all planes." I had an image/thought that involved the manifestation of air on all planes in a descending motion." My Gal received a visual picture of this as well. Same concept but a much different way of expressing his/her task.
"Was the vision [of the bandaged hand] from Exarp?"
"Dealing with Exarp will give you external visions. Hcoma will give you internal visions."
I asked, "Is it best to call you alone or with Exarp?"
"It doesn't matter. Alone we will have different things to tell you. However, if you want something to manifest, ask us both. If we grant it, [it will manifest 'better' (Note: better is not the right word.)] We each have our limitations but together we have less." I had a feeling I heard the words but did not fully understand. I didn't know where to go so I asked, "Please share with me your wisdom that will make me a better magician, or person, or give me a deeper understanding of Enochian magick or whatever wisdom you would like to share."
"There is no wisdom I would like to share. You are going to write this as being a message from your ego [he was right about that] but I am going to tell you anyway. You are being taught to be an instrument of God's will. You are being taught how to do one thing. Unlike last time*, this will be of longer duration and you will see the value in your sacrifice. You will not feel negatively like you did the last time."

The table of practice is white with red lettering around the edges. A red cloth covers all that and the Sigillum Dei Aemeth. The table had turned white. I could see the letters in red. "Why is the table white?"
"When the table turns white that means the angel has manifested."
"Are you here?" I noticed something come to shape behind My Gal. We sit facing each other. The form was humanoid but indistinct. I looked at it and XCAI suddenly spread his wings. The entire east wall of my temple space was covered by feathers. They had a rainbow sheen. This was through the looking glass darkly. Had I seen that in full light, I'd likely have fallen backwards over my chair. The only word for it is "Awesome." He was showing me that he was 'a big boy'. This is serious stuff. He folded in his wings at flew up like a dart. Only he didn't move. "Why are you holding on to me?"
I have no doubt that he could have left any time he wanted. I have no idea how to 'hold on' to an angel. I was not aware of doing any holding on. "I seem to be very deep in meditation."
"Yes, I am helping you."
"I'd like to be able to do this on my own."
"Of course. You'd have to practice meditation to do that. You are spending a lot of time doing this. This will teach you that anyway." He ascended.
I had a very difficult time coming out of it. My eyes would not open. I had to force myself back to consensus reality. As I was doing so, the area behind My Gal felt like a void. When I opened my eyes, I was shocked to find her holding the scrying mirror to her face, her forehead against its glass.

* The "last time" refers to my entry into another occult tradition. My amateurish unbanished shamanic journeys told me that I would have only one purpose in that tradition. I was supposed to bring one person in. Then, horrible things would happen. I wouldn't say I brought in another. However, his arrival was heavily influenced by my presence. Then horrible things happened. I've been psychological plagued by them ever since. I am sure I suffer from some sort of occult PTSD as a result. Though, I seem to be getting much better, sorta.

P.S. Enochian magick kicks ass! I love this stuff.

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