My Gal pointed out that we didn't actually use the calls for Exarp the other night. This may be why he was so gruff. Then again, the storm may have played a large part. Tonight, I did the chanting and she did the first and second calls.
As soon as she started, I felt my sphere vibrate differently. This felt like the right thing. Though, I am not sure that the calls were necessary. She would have come. She would have talked. She would have said things.
As soon as the calls finished, I sent out the specific call to the angel and asked, "Are you there?" She responded.
"I am here."
"Your voice, you float." I've never heard a floating sound before.
"Yes, I float."
"I seek wisdom. I seek to understand my undying soul that I may be closer to the ultimate creator."
"Yes," she said, "Words have traveled. I know you. Ask what you will."
"If I could see you, what color would you be?"
"I am the small things in the ocean." I did not see any images but her words struck images already in my mind. The image was of amoeba or plankton floating in the sea. Some part of my mind must have said something like, "But that isn't water." I don't remember hearing myself say that but I must have for she said, "Yes. I am life. From me is all the life on the earth."
"What is your sound?" The beach.
"What is your taste?" I asked.
"Brine, salt water. No matter what you ask, the answer is ocean."
"Are you fresh water?"
"Fresh water is the sea purified/changed to give land life by air and fire. Remember that."
"Please share your wisdom with me that I can understand."
Her voice from beginning to end repeated itself and said the same things in different ways. It was as if her words were carried on the peaks of two waves. Each message carried the same meaning but, used different words.
"The beach is not the only sound. There is also the sound on the surface of deep ocean. The beach is wave against earth. But there is another sound [away from land] that is wave against wave and wind. And there is another, at the tips of the waves, where the air takes my water from the sea. Listen for that sound."
I listened. I am not sure if she showed me wave tops or they came from my memory. My mind penetrated the image and placed itself between the wave crest and wind. Sizzle. The sound I heard was of something frying.
"Yes," came the voice of the angel, "Do you understand what I am telling you?"
"My angry words come from the surface of my ocean. The wind is my words carrying that emotion."
"Yes. Oceans are deep. You can try to calm the surface or you can go deeper. The first one [she did not say former], has not been successful. Have you thought of going deeper?"
Through the entire session, I felt underwater but not physically. I have no words to describe the peaceful but peculiar sensation. At these words, my depth increased.
"Can you show me how?"
"The water tablet can show you. Ask it in my name. Command it. With this tablet though, asking [gently] will work better. There is another sound in the depths. You will never hear that sound [as a physical body] but if you work the tablet you will hear."
At this point, I saw Harpocrate, Egyptian god of silence as pictured on the Thoth deck.
"Your soul is beautiful [that word meant something deeper] when you exercise your compassion. That is hidden by your words. Live in your depth. Seek your depth." There was more on this vein. Then she added,"Do not neglect the evil angels of the water tablet, not immediately. Work the tablet first and then, when you are ready the evil angels. Light often unfolds from darkness. What a beautiful light there is for you but you must not fear the evil angels. You must not fear the depths of your own soul. Go deeper."
"Can you teach me how to do that?"
"Just when you are waking or about to sleep. [instruction deleted] You can also call your angel Asmodel during the day. When you are angered or over hurried, [you are not deep.]"
Deeper and deeper I went. I could have stayed with her forever, such was the peace. I now understand the danger of undines. It is not their physical beauty that tempts the magician. The promise of physical beauty is merely the manifestation of the trap.
"You have stayed much longer than the others."
"Such is my nature. I can." She left unspoken that EHNB and Exarp can not stay as long. This appeared to be her nature and theirs more than my ability to hold them. Yet, she did not seem to want to go.
"Exarp said that my manifestation included saying what others do not wish to hear. Yet you showed me silence."
She answered, "Yes. Tell them what they don't want to hear. Yet be silent more. When you speak, the impact will be greater." We talked a little longer and then parted.
In this report, I used the word she. I believe the angels are without gender however, to our dualistic minds, they are perceived in certain ways. There is no doubt Hcoma is a she and the others are males. I understood her quite well. I think I took in a great deal of the depth of her meanings. She is so comfortable. In that is a danger. One could get very comfortable calling upon her to the exclusion of others.
I have never experienced a more emotionally satisfying act of magick. I know that somehow, I have changed this night. Though, that change may take some time to manifest. Patience is the watchword in this system.
This may disappoint My Gal a little. However, once the horizontal rows of this tablet are complete. I will have to move back to tattwas or geomantic figures. I do not want to get overly focussed here.
Balance is the watchword of the magician.