Personal Notes

I did a paid tarot reading Sunday night. Actually it was a set of yes/no questions. I found that I had the answers before I turned the cards. I don't think I will need cards much longer.

I am not doing the MM as I should. I am getting lazy personally because I feel I am working for others so much. That is hogwash. I have plenty of time to work on myself too. I think I am afraid of the next step. I ducked out on Mindfullness class tonight.

When I first saw that each soul level had an environment I was doing a soul reading for a friend. I have seen a similar image ever since when I use my third eye. I have finally realized it is either my nephesch world or a gateway into a 'land of nephesch' whatever that may be.

I did the Manifestation Meditation class in Bakersfield last weekend. I didn't do as well as the first time I did it. Though, I have already had follow up from two of the ten attendees.

The frustration at work hasn't flared up.

There have been lots of emails regarding the MM and the positive effects. There is one person having a bit of a rough time. Overall, I fell very good about the help and healing I am providing. However, I am smelling the danger there. The moment I say "I am" a healer, a helper or anything else the ego comes into play. I am enjoying the fun of seeing people heal while trying to tamp down the ego.

I need to rework the class for those with no magickal experience whatsoever.

I have learned that the little emotions that we push outward to people or up into our self-esteeem (for positive or negative) are the one's that get in the way of enjoyment of life. Emotions, received as they descend through the creative process are those that make us happy and content. I am reaching this conclusion because every time I express an emotional want, I am temporarily miserable. Yet, when I accept the emotions that descend from doing the MM and various healings, I am happy. That said I can still be somewhat discontent in areas but generally happy as long as I don't long for that discontent to be alleviated.