Life Has Changed

You may have noticed a few things about this space. My posts are shorter. They are less technical. They are less angst ridden. Fewer posts appear during the week. So, what gives?

The biggest change was a moment that lasted about ten minutes that I call experiencing the State of Grace. In that moment, it felt like I was wearing my past as a skirt. The collective weight of my insecurities, past life events, and life's misdemeanors was a burden to say the least. When that dropped it felt like I released twenty pounds of sandbags that I didn't realize I was carrying. That feeling was very real and very physical. If I didn't have a rational mind, I would have hopped on a scale expecting to have lost weight. There was a sense of divine perfection, my own, and everybody else's. It was literally the most awesome moment of my spiritual life.

That in turn took the internal reactions born of all that much out of the picture. The basest example is disbelief. If someone complimented me, that compliment had to work through all that much. The result was that I didn't believe the compliment. Criticism, on the hand, fit nicely into all that muck and I owned that. Now, I can be complimented and believe. The difference that makes is amazing.

I think that example can be easily related to by most people. Now, suppose there are twenty or thirty more problems just like that one but much more subtle. Those went away too. My reaction to the world around me is much different. I enjoy the people around me much more than I ever have. I enjoy me much more than I ever have.

The reason you've seen fewer posts is that I've been out disc golfing three or four times a week. Walking up and down those hills plus the twisting has had a positive impact on my back. I haven't taken more than Tylenol in four weeks.

Right now, I am Me. Those reactions were more like an attachment. That attachment caused reactions that were not reflective of my true self. Yet those reactions intensified the muck. This, in turn, shed some light on a problem all of us have from time to time, denial.

Have you ever seen someone say, "I did not do that," when it is obvious that they did? I have seen that and wondered how they can possible think people believe them. How do they believe themselves? They believe it because it is true. The speaker did not do the action, at least not the part of him that is true. The action being denied was performed by the muck, also known as the automatic personality. So the statement that person X did action Y is true in the generally accepted way but the denial is also true. The full self did not do any such thing at all!

I am telling you that if we all could get rid of that automatic personality muck, we'd be much better off. Guilt, insecurity and the like does not stick to your true soul because your true soul doesn't do a thing to earn those emotions.

The less technical parts come from the fact that all of this is so blinking easy that technicalities don't enter my mind anymore. My only barriers to healing others are experience, the limits on the 'depth' I am able to perceive and, possibly, the lack of anatomical knowledge to work with certain physical ailments.

The Difference Between Qabala and Kaballah

JustElila asked a question regarding the From Tarot to Hebrew post. She asked, "What is the difference between Qabala and Kaballah?"

There are three strands of Kaballah. The first is the from the original Hebrew culture and Judaism. You will normally find this spelled with a K. There is Cabala, the Christianized form. Finally, there is Qabala, the form used by the Western Esoteric Tradition (ceremonial magicians and those they influenced).

I have never read the Christianized version. The Hebrew version is much richer in terms of story and allegory and has a greater depth to the magick. The problem with that is you have to deal with Yahweh or so I suppose. The Qabala is much more detached from the paradigm of culture. This makes it more universal but gives it somewhat less depth.

I have been tempted to delve more into the Kabballah.

One last note, there is no correct way to spell this in English. I have seen Cabala, Caballa, Qabala, Qabalah, Qaballah, Qabbala and just as many K's.