Yesterday, I spoke to the Clear One. She related to me that as part of the MM she has contacted many levels of her soul. She says she is finding the spiritual connection she had been seeking. My work with her has set her physical healing in motion as well.
In her words, I found inspiration. I asked my Greater Neschemah to show me the part of my soul that causes my back pain. What came before me, externally to my perception, was a dark shape, human, void of defining features. It said that it is my shadow. It is made up of my suppressed sexuality, insecurity and something else.
It told me that I must be gentle in all things, not only in word, deed and thought but in aspiration, in meditation. These things are necessary for the work I have to do. So it says. There is an undercurrent to these words that is hard to explain. It is as if the words were four dimensional, maybe five. The words came accompanied by a silent base drum beat.
I told it that I would make an effort to do these things but could it find a way to teach me without the back pain? It said it would 'think about it'. Last night, I was emotionally disturbed. It was just enough to keep me up but not torturous. I think being unable to let go, to be more gentle, was a failure. Today, I am in some pain, not great but not good.
It is still my hope this shadow self finds a new way to goad me into a more gentle spirit.