My Mentor and Acceptance

My Mentor and Myself

I had a great talk with my mentor last night. I found it quite satisfying for a variety of reasons. 

My long term relationship with him has consisted of him counseling me, teaching me facts of magick and participating in initiation rituals. Most of the counseling sessions had to do with dealing with my own impurities. Therefore, they were direct, difficult and sometimes I was highly criticized. Though, the later was always done with compassion. My flailing ego was still wounded most of the time. During that period there was very little direct praise. The compliments I received were more in the form of actions rather than words. They came in the form of greater challenges. I always felt like I was moving uphill, in the rain, with the wind in my face. Sometimes, some jackass would pour some oil on the road just for fun! Now, by conscious choice or not I do not know, I'm learning about some of the things I did right, the lessons I did not need to learn and other items of that ilk. 

Another reason is that I received a glimpse the man behind the teacher. Our relationship has always been teacher/student with some friendship thrown in. Now, we are closer to student/teacher and friend/friend, which is not to say that my skills and knowledge are any match for his.  I like getting to know the rest of him. 

He also confirmed, though I hardly needed it, I am on the right track with various projects and duties. Outside confirmation is always nice.

Lastly, we are going to work together on an evocation. I've learned by dating The Psychic and now The Gentle Soul, that one can learn simply by being near someone of greater skill than you. My psychic abilities have grown as I have felt their vibrations as they are psychically engaged. I hope to learn along those lines in working with my mentor magickally. We've worked one or two acts of magick together. This will be the first time there will be an actual learning, collaboration, and doing magick session. I suppose that is not  technically true but this is a big step in another direction. I am so looking forward to it.

Acceptance

A week or so ago, my brother-in-law called me. He said that something is waiting for me. It is very welcoming and peaceful. He wasn't sure what it was but it came from India. My brother-in-law is a down to earth guy and isn't prone to sharing the odd ball psychic revelation. Most of the time, he'd prefer he didn't have them. In fact, he's actually eschewed exploring his innate magickal talent. So, when he calls, I listen.

I listened more because the Gentle Soul and I dreamed on the same night that we were in part of India or at least the middle east. I was being given a tour. Our dreams did not intersect much at all but the shared location made them stand out. So, hearing something from India was welcoming me after something else gave me a tour peaked my attention. 

At some point after that, I watched a documentary on Ram Dass. For those of you that do not know. Ram Dass was a Harvard professor who feel in with undesirables like Timothy Leary. That resulted in his getting fired from Harvard which was the first time that had happened in a hundred years.  Dass went to India for enlightenment and returned to the States to teach. He has had a quite distinguished spiritual career. 

Somehow this documentary inspired me to do a couple of things. Neither was mentioned in movie. The first is to accept my enlightenment. This is not to say that I am an enlightened master but that I am certainly more enlightened than I was five years ago. This isn't quite giving myself credit as it is accepting my place now. Another part of that isn't exactly asking for more but accepting the current that brings enlightenment. This has lead to something...

Work has been great. I am being glad handed, complimented, thanked and I'm genuinely providing a service to others at the same time. The reason for that, is because my negative frustrated thought pattern has been continually interrupted with thoughts of love and compassion. This is mostly subconscious activity. I notice it after it has occurred. I am not reaching for it. 

The second thing that happened is that I bought some mala beads. I plan on wearing them once they arrive and using them to pray during breaks and lunches at work as well as, other times through out the day.

Along these same lines, during my talk with my mentor, he mentioned that I did stay out of one patch of trouble because I have, in my words, a very rigid sense of morals. I damn well know what is right and what isn't, even when I couldn't resist the later. Today, I grumpily thought that it may have served me well in that one instance but they usually serve others better. I instantly smiled when I realized that is what they are for. So is everything else I strive for, in one way or another. I suppose I really ought to figure that into the front end of the calculations rather than realizing it on the back end.