Thursday, August 4, 2011


For my birthday, I placed a meditation timer on my Amazon wish list. My family generously gifted me with it.  I am enjoying its use. This morning, I meditated for twenty minutes before work. Not long ago, I breathed through another thirty minutes.

The meditation was a prayer that my 'enlightenment' whenever that may come be in a form to serve others to achieve the same. It was an endless game of releasing thoughts, sensations and visions. The session did include some odd points:

  • Ganesha touching my forehead with the tip of his trunk. 
  • I began to be able to observe myself from a distance. This was not a great distance but there was some  mental separation, like two parts of me were thinking. 
  • I observed my EGO as it thought of how people wishing to see me would be instructed that I preferred them nude because we all go before "God" naked. Then the other part of me that could think as well instructed me in the metaphor at play*. I in order to proceed, I must be so naked that there is no I. I was willing to leave everything behind, identities, friends, loves, everything. I watched my body fade away.
  • I watched many death masks go by. I think they were mine. Maybe not. 
  • I 'knew' my mentor has not what I am seeking. This is likely another ego flash but it was oh so much subtler. 
  • I had to push away more images than thoughts.
  • Thirty minutes after meditation, I am peaceful and buzzing. (Sober)
* A long time ago, I noted that the ego flairs up as one makes a hop up a level of awareness. It never occurred to me that ego flair may be instructional. The form of the ego fantasy may contain important information.

NOTE: In a recent post, I mentioned the passwords of the sephiroth. My long ago memory of what I had read in Crowley was incorrect. 

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