The meditation was a prayer that my 'enlightenment' whenever that may come be in a form to serve others to achieve the same. It was an endless game of releasing thoughts, sensations and visions. The session did include some odd points:
- Ganesha touching my forehead with the tip of his trunk.
- I began to be able to observe myself from a distance. This was not a great distance but there was some mental separation, like two parts of me were thinking.
- I observed my EGO as it thought of how people wishing to see me would be instructed that I preferred them nude because we all go before "God" naked. Then the other part of me that could think as well instructed me in the metaphor at play*. I in order to proceed, I must be so naked that there is no I. I was willing to leave everything behind, identities, friends, loves, everything. I watched my body fade away.
- I watched many death masks go by. I think they were mine. Maybe not.
- I 'knew' my mentor has not what I am seeking. This is likely another ego flash but it was oh so much subtler.
- I had to push away more images than thoughts.
- Thirty minutes after meditation, I am peaceful and buzzing. (Sober)
* A long time ago, I noted that the ego flairs up as one makes a hop up a level of awareness. It never occurred to me that ego flair may be instructional. The form of the ego fantasy may contain important information.
NOTE: In a recent post, I mentioned the passwords of the sephiroth. My long ago memory of what I had read in Crowley was incorrect.