Thursday, July 10, 2008

Things on My Mind (Sleepless Night)

It is late and I can't sleep. The following things have been on my mind:

  • Where is the line between a pointless societal expectation and following it anyway for one's enlightened self interest? If paint my car lime green as a mode of expression and the local cops hate it so much they consistently pull me over, is my expression worth the cost or should I hold fast and teach them the pointlessness of trying to control another's harmless behavior? Why do I even need to express myself? Why do I care if society at large knows how I feel?
  • How can I expand myself to the compassionate state my HGA is calling for? I have no idea. I am a Leo. We spend our whole lives being very individualized. Why do I see feeling deep compassion as being less so? Those things are not contradictions. Even knowing that, I don't know how to follow those instructions. Is it not in my make up?
  • This dream bothers me a great deal. I think this is a forerunner of what I will have to face as I continue my path. I am not sure what form this is going to take. I'd rather not face it but I will. One can not turn away from the Work. I will always seek that divine unity. Seeking is a part of who I am. I seem to follow a silent call. I will not turn away. I will not turn away. But oh, how I want to!

Image from:

I can see how this image looks like a man struggling with his shadow self. Perhaps this is the source of a many a sleepless night?

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