The good news is that I made my first day on the diet with flying colors. I actually had to eat more than I wanted to get enough calories. Odd that. I also learned that I eat too little early in the day and then much late at night, which is a problem. Sounds like another balance issue to me. It is amazing how often it comes down to that.
I spoke to my mentor today by phone. It sounded like my next initiation is going to be delayed yet again. And even then, the tone of voice said gathering the proper people may pose a problem. While I admit I could be reading too much into it, I see the pattern. Screw it. I am going to tell the universe I am serious about this happening. I will call the angel of tipereth and get this moving. I may then put myself through it if necessary. I am more than ready.
I am angry at the delays. Some of it has been my fault but most of it is just circumstances. Which may really be indicating I am not ready, yet I do not see how that can be at this point. Sometimes, a magician has to be a magician and just get it done. If I blow up, then I blow up.
Funny thing. I am seeing repeating patterns left and right lately. Some of them I've seen and deliberately broke. Other times, I see the pattern but it is devoid of meaning. I am being more cautious there.