Tuesday Meditations

I am still very sore and on medications.

I did the Stavish meditation that involves placing oneself in a while sphere and then making your body parts glow in that soft bluish white.

When I tried to project, I saw the magician from the Rider-Waite deck. The yellow hat, in the shape of the infinity symbol or Mobius loop, was oversized. The hat was so large it should have been floppy, but was not. . He stood on the opposite side of my altar. He was very stiff, just as if someone made a cardboard cut-out of the card.

Note: I made no effort to enliven him. That may have been a mistake. Perhaps I should have tried to get my consciousness within him.

Instead, I moved him over me and tried to rise in the planes. I saw the four kerubs, the moon temple, an arrow and then the sun. I stayed there and someone put a chalice in my hands which were over my head. The chalice glowed bright yellow and, it seemed to me, too much self-glorification. I put the cup aside and felt myself rise again.

The only place to rise from Tipereth is towards the abyss. I have no illusions that I am anywhere near that stage but I followed the meditation. At this point, my HGA had something to say. “You are above where you think you are but not where you think you are.” Gee, thanks. I think this meant that I was above ‘normal Assiah’ or what others may call consensus reality but below the abyss. I strained to get out of my body. Then, I relaxed. I am not sure how to say this clearly but I felt something of spirit, warm and peaceful. “The key is your Ruach.” I immediately thought of the personality as defined by the qabala. The Ruach consists of the spheres Chesed to Yesod. My mind contemplated how my personality could have anything to do with astral travel. “Your spirit” my HGA said. He then added something else I can’t recall. I kept thinking in this vein until another meaning of Ruach came to mind. Ruach is air. My HGA was trying to tell me my breath was important.

I began the four-fold breath. This consists of inhaling to a count of four, holding for a count of four, exhaling and then holding for the same count. This I did. I counted for some time. Then, my mind began to wonder and I was instructed to place close attention to the breath as I counted. I did. As I did the exercise, I felt tension in my body. I knew, without being told, this was because during the pauses I was holding my breath with my throat. The trick is to not-breath by maintaining muscular control of the diaphragm, not the throat.

Note: This makes sense if there is a psychic center at the throat. Closing off the throat may impact that center.

I tried this but that is more difficult than it sounds, especially when one has expelled all the air.

At some point in all this I saw a female ear with many earrings that alternated between red and blue. (Regular readers may have spotted a color theme in my meditations). I thought, “This is the qabalistic bride.” Of course, I have no idea if it was or why she would have appeared just then.

As the breathing continued, I realized Ruach also means spirit. No sooner that thought occurred than I saw Keter above me. As I inhaled Keter dropped into my chest filling it with light. As I exhaled, I gave Keter back to the universe. This was a very relaxing meditation.

At some point, I was given a clue as to a past life that leads to double-standard I’ve mentioned in a previous post. I am going to hold of on revealing that for a couple of reasons. The first reason is because it is most likely an ego trip. The second reason is that it is a relatively famous person in occult circles, which makes it even more likely to be an ego trip. And no, dear reader, it was not Crowley.