Monday, May 5, 2008

Suicide and Dreams

I did dream last night but I was too lazy this morning to get up and write them out. However, I will fill in what I remember.

I had a dream where I was at a meeting with the head of my department. She was at the head of a very long table. I was at the opposite end. She declared that anyone that made a typo would have to fill out a sixteen page form. Naturally, I made some smart-ass comment. She heard it but said nothing.

Note: The symbolism of this dream is obvious. My boss is unreachable and that makes me feel pretty useless in the scheme of things. What may be less obvious to some is sixteen. One plus six equals seven. The qabalistic number of Venus and Netzach. Netzach is sometimes translated as desire. This represents my desire to get out.

In another dream, I was in the armed forces in the desert. This scene likely occurred because a military friend of mine dropped by last night. We became quickly surrounded by men in desert clothing wearing white turbans. Someone said, "Looks like they win this one." We began firing in a lost cause. I hit a group of their children. Once the closed in, I killed myself.

The odd part of this is that over the last year, I've killed myself a lot in my dreams. This disproves the adage that if you die in your dreams you die in real life. I am in no way suicidal in real life. So don't freak out. I am wondering if this is a reflection of the path of Nun between Netzach and Tipereth.

I think it is interesting that I can remember this much at this late time. It is almost time to go back to bed.

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