I am having some issues.
First of all, nothing makes me happier than teaching the MM. Every time I do, people heal and grow. Every time I do, my back feels great for that period of time. Then why cannot I not crank out this book? I know 90% of the information off the top of my head. I just cannot seem to make the effort to get it out of there.
Last night, I did the MM to help me crank out 5,000 words this weekend. I have nothing else to do this weekend and that isn't really a lot of first draft words. It helped in that I keep trying but I just can't take a meaningful step that starts things off.
I am getting perturbed with myself big time. I know writing a book is hard work. I know editing is hard work but I put words up here all the time. The only difference is that the book is more structured.
Someone was thinking of me last night. I could feel emotional angst, torment. I think it was female. There was no way for me to tell if this person was in pain because of something I did or was thinking of me in a support role. It wasn't loud enough to be disturbing other than someone was in pain. It made me sad.
When things like this happen, I feel arrogant and a bit nuts. Arrogant to think that someone is up at 11:00 PM on a Friday night focused on me. Nuts because that is so subjective, I could be imagining it. If someone is thinking of me that strongly, I wish they'd call.
I want to do a lot of soul readings. I love them. I love helping people heal and I learn a great deal about the human condition in general. I am a very strong tarot reader but soul readings up that to shame. Yet, I do not want to get overloaded in doing them. I am considering doing the MM to build up a clientele.
I have been waking up in the morning feeling very peaceful and connected to the universe. This is way cool because I just feel like love and compassion. I am changing once again.
There are times that I really feel peaceful, holy, in communion. That feeling is always want I imaged I'd arrive at upon this journey. I feel like I have climbed the mountain of initiation only to learn that it is a foothill. I am good with that. Seriously, I am good with that.
Someone hand me some trail mix. Up we go!
I will post later today on some MM success stories. I am trying to catch up from my lack of blogging last week.