Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Ego Yo-Yo

Yup, life has its ups and downs. I have been fighting off ego issues for a couple of days, as I have reported. A couple of nights ago, I asked for the lesson I needed to learn. The next day, I realized I had made some mistakes in teaching the meditation and would have to go back to people and explain.

Sometime last week, I asked the few people I have shared the meditation with to send some good words for the two teachings I will be doing soon. This morning, I woke up to this:

"The Manifestation Meditation is a ritual that takes the practitioner into the heart of magick, into the place where real and true manifestation can occur. There is no goal more worthy than to be one's highest and greatest Self, and no expression of that self that is more powerful than Creation. The mantra allows one to participate in and experience Creation, and it is utterly (and beautifully) transformative. This is an experience I had hoped for but I did not expect, and I am very grateful to Robert for sharing this practice." Yvonne Chireau, Author of Black Magic: Religion and the African American Conjuring Tradition. 

What amazed me about Yvonne early on was that almost immediately she experienced more from the meditation than I did. It took me a while to realize that our experiences were analogous. Though, I am pretty sure she is a step or two ahead of me in this game. What I didn't know is that she is Harvard and Princeton educated in religious studies. I find it hugely ironic that I, a person who stresses that he is not a scholar, would be the subject of such words from someone with such an accomplished academic background.

Today, I have run through a gamut of emotions. At first, I was thrilled. I thought I was full of ego but realized that the joy of such kind things being said about oneself is not ego and is perfectly acceptable. I then realized that this too is a form of attachment that I had best overcome as well. Then, I felt pride of accomplishment and had the same realizations only there was more ego in that. Now, that I am home and posting this to various places to advertise my upcoming classes, I am the Hindenburg of either joy or ego but I haven't reached New Jersey yet. This attachment I will need to overcome as well. I think I will start on that...tomorrow.

Thank you, Yvonne, for the so very kind words. They mean a lot to me.

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