I noticed my own ball of ego emerge over this last few days. I have wondered how to do deal with it. Confidence is great. Doing something that helps yourself and others, great! Believing your own press, problematic.
A year or two back, I received my first fan letters after speaking at Pantheacon. I immediately realized why celebrities can go a bit nuts. If they spend time reading all that stuff, it is no wonder their egos sore and get out of control. That was a warning for me.
So, I must say as overjoyed as I was, as concerned as I was about my ego, I didn't completely lose it. That doesn't mean I didn't learn from that experience.
You can get to a place where you can be the observer. You can watch yourself act out the play. That observer can be completely unattached. I haven't reached that point yet but I did get somewhere close. I will be doing the MM in order to 'be' that observer that watches but does not interfere.
It really doesn't matter what you do. You are not your thoughts. You are not your actions. These are markers at best. All you are, is your awareness. You are there. You are you. Your actions, words and deeds may tell you something about what is in or out of alignment, beneficial or not, in a way, I suppose. But such thinking is limited. Small ball.
There is no good or bad, up or down, beneficial or not. There is only good and un-good. Up and not up. Down and not down. And even those things are too oppositional. There is only one, one you, one thing, one universe. ARARITA!
Future post topics:
The Soul is Bigger than You Are
Why Christ Doesn't Suck
The Mormons are right (partially)