This has been a tough year. My father died. My friend died. I fell head over heals in love and then got dumped, nicely but dumped all the same. I am slowly becoming useless at my job due to a series of odd circumstances. I have been magically attacked*. I narrowly avoided having to deal with a stalker.
I have also, broken through a long time GD initiatory barrier only to run very quickly into the next one. I was finally told the 'great occult secret' that resulted in my punishment by more former coven. I have learned how deep love can be when you let it. I have let some crap go and rekindled friendships. I have SERIOUSLY started a book project on the Manifestation Meditation that has a good deal of promise, I think. I have made a lot of friends. The Conclave of the Greek Key, which started with the Helpful Deity, is going strong.
It also looks like my back has doomed my career, which will likely cause me to have to go on disability. Eventually, I will lose my house and healthcare. Therefore, I have started with greater resolve writing. I plan on writing pagan articles and magick books. I am staring a pun blog and have recently been appointment the official punner of The Provocation. Once I get 365 puns done, the new blog will release a pun a day. This blog makes about $100 a year in advertising. I can see a broader topic making two or three times that, which is nothing but, when you have nothing but time, why not? I am not a great writer. On the upside, I enjoy it and am willing to work on it. I may get lucky and be able to supplement my income.
Once I lose my job, I will put my face and name to this space as well. At my age, skill set and with my health problems in this economy, I am pretty much on the no hire list anyway. So, I won't have to worry about job fallout.
Also, this is nothing surprising. I have shared many initiatory events with my mentor. He went through them and watched me go through things very similar in theme. Sometimes, we go through very similar things at the same time. Right now, I am going through what he went through at this stage. Poverty, is likely on the horizon.
Mr. Leo, I'd like to introduce you to Humility. Humility, this is Leo.
* I have noted many times on this blog when I have screwed up. This time I can say I did nothing to make myself a target of this person.
5 comments:
*really* sorry to hear about the disability. you will assuredly have to alter your ideas about 'household'! hope the turning of the seasons sees a more positive outlook for you.
I admire your honesty and the attitude you're approaching this with. I hope that your pain becomes moderate, and your poverty is the sort you can smile wryly at, and not bitterly.
I'm sure everyone you've met has sent you some possible solution or other for great back pain, but I have to tell you if there is any hope that it could help. Seifukujitsu. A sort of esoteric Hawaiian-Japanese alchemical Massage. We use it to repair the wounds we inflict on each other every day in Danzan-Ryu Jujitsu (this is a hard grappling-art, lot's of throws and joint manipulations. We have folk training well into their 60's and beyond because of our restorative art), and it has worked wonders on gentlemen with backs that are almost destroyed. Just an idea; if you have someone near you that can work on you, it may bring you some relief.
You sound absolutely exhausted, and no wonder. What you have gone through in this year is more than anyone really 'should' go through in such a time frame. (you know where to find me if you ever want a friendly ear) Do you think that the curse and your suseptibility to it is related to where you are with your other work?
While it's a good thing to prepare for the worst possible outcome, there is always the chance that it won't actually come to that. I hope that is the case for you.
I was vulnerable to the curse because I trusted the person not to do such a thing and was briefly in denial. I am not sure of its impact only in that it was indeed sent. Very disappointing.
Nothing to add to words of other well wishers except I wonder if you have learned the meaning of the disability. You understand what that is: perhaps your teachers and guides can help you to figure out, if not tell you directly what it means. Unless your post is saying that you know what it means. If that is the case, you are writing about acceptance, and that is most profound.
But it is not clear, to me at least. There is something to learn here.
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