I am officially bat shit crazy. As soon as night falls, I begin to crack. Tonight, I am wound up about work. It is 5:13 AM. I haven't slept at all. Not. At. All. This isnt laying there catching a few winks but feeling like you never fell asleep. I have been up. Awake. Mind spinning.
Death has surrounded me for months, Dad, Chris, people at work. Metaphorically speaking, probably, it is my turn to die.
Is this the normal GD initiatory place as my mentor says? Is this all the chakra work I've been doing? Is this the Manifestation Meditation doing its job? Is it any of those all fucked up? Is it all of them. You decide. I don't know and I'm really not thinking about that. I. am. just. trying. to. hold. it. together. I am not succeeding.