I live! For the moment.
I began the same way I did with Asmodel then I got stupid. Well, not really, just forgetful but it all worked out.
I did the LBRP, BRH, First Degree Opening, Middle Pillar with five vibrations. Five corresponds to Mars ruler of Scorpio. Beginning with Keter I felt a peculiar vibration. The feeling was one of prickly heat with a edge of harsh emotion. The sensation encompasses my head completely and with the last vibration began to move down the neck. The next to sephira were not as exciting. However, Yesod vibrated at my feet. The top of Malkuth may have touched my feet but the rest of it was WAY DOWN THERE.
I drew the invoking hexagram of Mars with the Mars sigil in the center using my rainbow wand held at the Scorpio point with the GD Hierophant technique. Here is where I realized that I am a bumbling forgetful magician. When I did Asmodel, I had looked up the angel name for Taurus. I had forgotten to do that. So, I switched to the Hebrew and called upon the Tribe of Dan. They came. They felt much different than I expected. "Well, you called a tribe, not an angel. We are here." I felt it wise to just move along. I heard, "Why did you call?"
"I seek hidden knowledge. I seek to become a spiritual person. Yet, I am held down by my own baggage. I do not have the emotional tools to set it down. I need to let go of the past. I need tools for the future."
I saw this:
I was told to skry the card as this work would be different than my work with Asmodel. Here, I'd will have to prove my willingness to plunge into the depths through consistent effort. I was asked if I was willing. I said yes but this is a horrendous time given the ritual work I am about to commence. Apparently, they will be fine with consistent effort. Daily work is not necessary. I asked if the Rider Waite or other Prince of Cups would do. No, it must be this one.
I was giving permission to call them any time.
I then realized I was standing ankle deep in water. The inundation of the Nile brings fertility to the earth. I need to accept the flood of the past and allow that to fertilize my earth my life. Any realization or growth I make need not be made public unless I wish it to. I may remain silent. I owe no debts. Those owed me will not be repaid. "Am I owed a debt?" "Who cares," came the answer. I can't argue the logic there. If I am owed a debt that won't be repaid, does it matter that the debt is owed? No. If I am not owed a debt, then the lack of payment doesn't matter either.
I felt the energy of the water rise up my legs to my buttocks. I stood there for a while as they imparted more words to me that I can not recall at the moment. I could have stayed for quite a while but I deemed it unwise. I am not sure if that was wisdom or just too much water for a fiery Leo.
I thanked them and drew the banishing hex of Mars. I realized that I had brought in a variety of incense and I intended to ask them which they would like. Incense during a flood. Brilliant thinking! So, now that the flood was over, I burned two types first Eros and then Osiris.
After performing the first degree closing, I stepped back behind the altar in the exact spot of the 'flood.' I saw myself turn green. Dressed in white, I saw the white crown upon my head. My arms crossed involuntarily. Osiris. Silence. Sacrifice. There was more of a dry emotion than words. I am sure there are words for what I felt only I don't know them.
I stood there for quite a while. I became plainly aware that one of us had to go. Osiris, the Silent, was not going to budge. For all I know, he is still standing behind my altar as I type this.
I warned him of the banishing. He didn't seem to care. I did the BRH, LBRP and gave the License to Depart.
Osiris didn't move.
Apologies for the hasty writing. It has been a long night.
(Thoth Prince of Cups from: http://altreligion.about.com/library/graphics/crowley/pcups.jpg)