Magickal Stuff
I am getting prompted to explain how I heal and that message is being mixed with the idea that this is reflected in the Chaldean Oracles. I am no expert on those but I do remember them talking about the divine as "mind".
When I heal, I am in the world of mind. It is not the physical. The hard part was learing to 'see' the wrongness. I easily see pain. That ability to see is what the hard work was all about. Moving the pain away from the body is simple, all it requires is a thought. Sometimes, it doesn't want to go. In those cases, I have to be more force full or toss in some appropriate symbolism to make it go away.
This explains why part of me was so focused on seeing occult things all through my training. My ability to serve requires a level of astral sight.
I am working on learning more about what should be there so I can set things right. In short, I am trying to learn to heal rather than relieve symptoms. This will require some book learning and some experiments. You know me. It will be experiments first.
I am making arrangements for the person with diabetic neuropathy, another person with pre-diabetes problems and a healthy person to be here at the same time. I am then going to look to see if I can a) see a common thing for diabetes that I do not see in the healthy person, and, b) see if I can compare Neuropathy to normal nerves.
I also have two BIG cases on the radar that, if successful, would make the rest of what I do look pretty minor. One I have agreed to take on. The other I need to meditate on.
Personal Stuff
I went to a party last night and saw the woman that did the very bad thing. This normally freaks me out. This time, I did not care, not one damn bit. Though, it was odd seeing multiple people from my past and two of them having obvious issues with me. Odder still to realize their issues are theirs not mine. The woman can convince herself that I over reacted to her actions and therefore I am at fault for something. False but I can see that perspective. The other is a man that I didn't do anything to whatsoever.
I have realized that I do two things that cause me pain, one of which causes other people pain.
One of the things I do is that when I am hurt, I see incidents A, B and C and then reach what appear to be disjointed conclusions F, Q, and W. The catch is that sometimes these apparently out of left field conclusions are intuitively correct and later are borne out as true. Though, many people deny them anyway, even when they have obviously been proven. Other times, they are off but not wholly unfounded. Regardless, F,Q, and W are things the party in question cannot emotionally own and that causes them to think I am a jerk and/or hurts them. The latter is because not only do they not want to believe I am a jerk (at first) but also because when people are in denial part of them knows they are. That knowledge is painful, gets buried and turns into resentment. Since they can't resent themselves, they resent me. Shrug.
The other thing I do is own other people's faults and personalize them as directed at me. For instance, when my last g/f dumped me, she went for 'advice' to a good many of my friends and mentors and talked to them about our relationship. This means to me that others knew the bomb was going to be dropped and didn't tell me. That hits my loyalty issues. I do my best to overlook that part as it is a crappy position to be placed in. In fact, it is rather inconsiderate of the other party to have done so.
The fact is there can be a million reasons why this woman approached things this way. What I do is assume that it came from an utter lack of respect for me. That hurts me and I will interrupt those thoughts should they occur in the future.
This realization came from my request to my soul to finally heal me from the remainder of that relationship. I learned that I cannot heal if I hurt myself with such thoughts.
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