From Wikipedia: Compassion From Wikipedia: Compassion is the virtue of empathy for the suffering of others. It is regarded as a fundamental part of human love, and a cornerstone of greater social interconnection and humanism —foundational to the highest principles in philosophy, society, and personhood. Compassion is often regarded as emotional in nature, and there is an aspect of compassion which regards a quantitative dimension, such that individual's compassion is often given a property of "depth," "vigour," or "passion." The etymology of "compassion" is Latin, meaning "co-suffering." More virtuous than simple empathy, compassion commonly gives rise to an active desire to alleviate another's suffering. It is often, though not inevitably, the key component in what manifests in the social context as altruism. In ethical terms, the various expressions down the ages of the so-calledGolden Rule embody by implication the principle of compassion: Do to others what you would have them do to you.
Robert's Golden Rule: Do unto yourself what you would do for others.
Can you feel compassion for another that may have done something wrong? I remember my mother telling me that she slapped my sister when she was a toddler and cut her lip. My mother felt guilty about that for the rest of her life. I do not condone what she did. I have compassion for how it tore her up later.
Have you ever done anything wrong that eats you up? How about those things that are smaller but deep down inside the gnaw at you sometimes so quietly that you don't realize it? Do you have the courage to even look? You would be amazed at what you may find. You may be amazed to learn how painful some very small thing is. You may be amazed to realize that horrific pains you fear are not there.
There are other things that tear at you there. The actions of others. The slights, the wrong doings, the brutality of growing up among so-called classmates that have no class. The rejections of adolescence. The mistakes of parents, etc.
The pains above are not the point of this writing.
The point is that if you are capable of having compassion for and sharing that love with another that has done wrong or been hurt, you should share that with yourself. Reach down, deep down, and love every bit of yourself. Have compassion for the pain that spurred you into incorrect action. Have compassion for the wounds others have inflicted. Have compassion for the person suffering from the results of those actions -- you.
Love yourself as deeply as you can love another. Cry for yourself. Comfort yourself. Sooth yourself. Accept and know that you are so worthy of love that no future pain born of your own actions will be so great. For that inner love heals the wounds that cause us to act out. There is no greater gift you can give yourself.
Do unto yourself what you would do for others.