I had time to do some serious thinking this weekend as I had a lot of driving to do.
In times past, I've participated in and witnessed many a discussion in various newsgroups regarding killing the ego. What exactly does this mean? I've never really figured that one out. There was a time, and I still believe this is valid for new folks on the path, that I believed the issue was balancing the grandiose self-talk of arrogance with the self-abasing talk of insecurity. I think the balance point of understanding one's 'good' qualities without too much back patting and recognizing one's negative side without too much harsh self chatter is a good thing to shoot for.
Now, I am toying with a different concept. The ego tries to remake the world according to its own self-perceptions. The ego will expect others to be friends with the same people we perceive as good and stay away from folks we see as bad. The ego will try to convince others of religious, political or other viewpoints. The arrogant ego will try to force others to be complimentary. The negative ego will see every bump in life's road as proof of their unworthiness.
Perhaps killing the ego is more along the lines of killing the desire to create 'proof' of personal perceptions. Perhaps it is closer to killing the need to force the world to fit within our parameters.
Of course, there are times where enforcing one's point of view is important and even critical. The owner of a business needs to display the leadership of his or her vision. A mother defending her children from an intruder is another. I am speaking of more subtle things than those.
Obviously, I am still working all this out.