Monday, June 21, 2010
As you all know, I've been having a blast with the Helpful Deity. It helped me put aside the huge majority of the obsession and anger I've suffered with. How can anyone be ungrateful for that? I am certainly not. Working with It is bliss. It is a truly enjoyable experience all the way around. However, I just couldn't kill all of the ceremonial magician in me. Some part of me, kept saying, how do you know what you've got here? Trust but verify.
So, I had Lon DuQuette do a tarot reading for me. I've never heard him stumble and flail around like that. The cards came up negative. He really wanted to tell me that I've got just what I thought I have, he just couldn't. Yet, he kept throwing in odd phrases that match with the lore of the deity. His tag line was typical of Lon's long term view of the Universe, "You may not have what you wanted but you just may have exactly what you need." Great.
The second reason I asked is because a few weeks ago, my partner noticed a little thing she calls a shadow angel hanging around. Obviously powerful but not malicious, hiding, watching. I felt no aggression. I heard no aggression. My partner's relative noticed this same being outside of my partner's house, standing in the light of a street lamp. This relative had not been told of the sighting but immediately said, "It followed you home."
When I asked about this being, Lon's response was, "this is exactly what you're looking for."
Color me confused.
So where does amateur hour come in? Frankly, I am embarrassed to even type it, much less post it. I never once asked this deity It's name. I assumed I got what I called. Why the hell would I assume such a thing? Am I daft? Don't answer that! (Grin) Regardless of what it is, that is why I talked to myself and repeatedly said, "Self. How do you really know what this is?" Now, I know where that question came from.
I have lots of really negative adjectives to append to the word magician as it applies to myself right now. Dumb ass is at the top of the list.
Now, I'm not saying the Helpful Deity is bad. I'm saying my technique sucked and my thought process was non-existent. I will contact It again but this time with a little more CM and a few more questions.
Always challenge the spirits boys and girls, even if you think you've got the best of the best. Jesus is Lord of what exactly? Doh! The Helpful Deity is WHO exactly?
Stay tuned for the next installment of "As the Dumb Ass Turns".
Picture from: HERE.