Happy New Year

My great grandfather, John O'Connor, was fond of saying, "May the very best of this year be the very worst of next year." This is my wish to all of you.

Thanks all for your reading and input.

Update: Turns out this was my Great Great Grandfather. How great I don't know personally but my dad liked him. Oh and his name was Daniel not John. Daniel O'Connor 1865-1953
 
I am amazed how recently 'long ago' events.  He was born the year Lincoln was assassinated and died the same year Truman announced that the US had a hydrogen bomb. Twelve years later I was born. He was very politically connected. It is not inconceivable he touched someone that touched Lincoln.  

Metatron Changes

The Metatron experience may be so profound as to have a life labeled PM and AM -- Prior to Metatron and After Metatron.

I've prayed three times a day since then. I light a small candle in my bedroom and say a few words and listen. I've prayed before but worship has never been my style. I've never understood it before and am still a bit uncomfortable with the word. There are two aspects to this prayer, worship and unity. I am left with a feeling of peace. It isn't an all encompassing peace but I have to push deep inside to feel the discord that remains within my body. I feel that this discord will not last much longer, relatively speaking.

Small behavior patterns have changed. Today, I was preparing to get a bagel. I was going to stick my head under the shower so I could get my hair to stay in one place, get the bagel and return home to shower. It takes a bit of time to get the shower warm enough to stick my head under. I was then asked or asked myself, if this action was harmonious with one of the names I was given. The answer was no. So, I showered fully and then obtained the bagel.

This isn't earth shattering but the thoughts that lead to this behavior change were completely new.

Upon my return from delicious bagel consumption, I thought of Jason Miller's story of a woman's "personal tsunami". She had compared a minor personal event with the recent tsunami that killed hundreds of thousands. The first time I heard the story, I wanted to bitch slap the woman. Now, I feel sorry for her. Someone once told me not to think light of puppy love "because it is real to the puppy." This woman must have been truly unhinged and ill-equipped to deal with any sort of real life.

Thoughts that didn't feel like mine then intruded and pointed out all the tsunamis that happen every day. Humans may wipe out an ant hill. Farmers may poison huge numbers of insects. Mother nature creates a wave that kills humans, animals, insects and who knows what else. None of this is done with malice. The farmer doesn't hate Louis the Beetle. He simply believes this is the best way to feed humans and his family.

There was no guilt associated with the death humans cause. It wasn't an environmental diatribe. It was a simple understanding of everyday mass destruction. Oddly, there was a sort of peace with it. No, this was not some sort of apocalyptic vision. It was more of an understanding of various microcosms.

I point these things out because they are serious changes in thought patterns.

Arguing with RO (Yes, it is Tuesday already)

RO posted here about my post here.

He had a lot to say about my use of the word sacrifice. I agree with him in theory. I disagree in practicality. Take it for what it is worth. I think we are both right. I'd love to hear Jason Miller's take on this stuff but I know he is swamped with his awesome class.

The theory is that the universe is an open system and therefore any magick that I do to gain money doesn't mean it has to come out of a finite money supply. There is an infinite source of riches. I first heard this theory from Sam Webster of OSOGD fame. I agreed with him too, after thinking about it.

However, in practical terms how would money I sent a spirit for manifest?

• My father could suddenly write me a check.
• I could be offered paid overtime at work.
• I could get hit by a bus and the insurance payment is larger than my expenses.
• My Gal could land a windfall and share.
• I could find a lost wallet with no id.
• I could get promoted.
• I could get an outside job that utilized by Crystal Report writing skills.
  

Is there a sacrifice made here?

• My father sacrificed all other uses of the money he would send.
• Given limited budgets in my work place, someone else would not get overtime or  we may not be allowed to buy paper for our printers. Pens are already off limits for purchase.
• Trust me, getting hit by a bus would be a sacrifice on my part
• My Gal would sacrifice other opportunities to spend her windfall on something shiny.
• The person who lost the wallet sacrificed its spending power.
• Due to budget constraints any promotion I get will hurt somebody somewhere.
  

While the source of money may be infinite, its practical arrival would necessitate some sort of sacrifice on someone's part. With the possible exception of the outside job. Even if a spirit produced the money out of a vacuum, his or her or its efforts would be a sacrifice of its energy, time or whatever efforts spirits make. It may be willing sacrifice given my sacrifice of something else to the spirit but a sacrifice it is.

If I needed money to get an operation, repair my house, or some other major event, I'd have no problem asking the universe for aid. This simply wasn't necessary in this act of magick.

Last Night's Post

I was a little shaky last night, trying to put my head on straight after the events of the day. The visit from Metatron was mind blower. I am sure some serious changes are coming. I do not fear them. I am trying to wrap my head around the information imparted.

Just For Fun

I have doing a lot of fun reading of late. I'd like to recommend Jim Butcher's Dresden Files series. The alternative reality fiction is set in relatively modern times where magic is real but the population is unaware. Yes, it is a bit over the top. It is fiction. It is well-written, fun, and mixes is some magickal facts. Some magickal facts. RO will hate it. If any of you enjoy action type fiction, detective stories and things with an magical theme, you'll love this stuff. Here is a link to the first book in the series.

He also writes a swords/sorcery type adventure story that is unique in how magic works. That magic is accessible to everyone in a greater or lesser extent, except the main character. These are very enjoyable as well. Here is a link to the first book in this series. 

P.S. I have made $23.00 off this blog by linking to Amazon. Oddly, most of it last September. I only make recommendations on things I enjoy and/or find useful magickally/spirituality.

DOB 12/28/2009 -- approximately 1:05 PM PST

I sat down to try to pound out some words on the book I am writing when I felt called to the temple room. Perhaps not so oddly, just prior to that, I was compelled to reinstall the household protections I had to move for the repairman today.

I sat down in my customary chair before the Enochian holy table. Metatron appeared. He again asked me the question, "How do you want your spirituality [soul] to manifest?" I said through forgiveness. He said no. That is a step. He then gave me three "choices". I said yes to them all, instinctively.

I then saw the Tree of Life. The focus shifted to the supernals. These are the three uppermost sephiroth. They represent the Greater Neschemah collectively. The highest aspect of the soul. They are called Keter (Crown), Chokmah (Wisdom) and Binah (Understanding). He renamed them or, more appropriately, revealed my incarnation's names for them. The 'choices' were the names. I can see so much now.

I was told that I will forgive. I prayed that I could. By now, Metatron was no longer before me but upon me. A laser-like light from his heart landed upon the "rock of unforgiveness" in my belly. "You will forgive," he said. I prayed I would. Soon, I was naming names mentally. There wasn't very many of them. I haven't had a very trying life. Somethings didn't require individual names. They were more like zeitgeists, I suppose.

Then, I said them verbally. 

The lightening bolt flash  through me. Touching each sephira. I understood that each of these has a personal name too. Just like the tarot now has a more personal meaning than ever before. These names were not provided but I know I have them. I was told to invoke each archangel of the sephira in one ritual, from Keter down. Metatron said these are separate beings, external, and yet within me.  There is no contradiction in that.

Metatron told me that before the study of the Tree was the study of an idea, a form. Now the Tree is my microcosm.


Every synapse in brain fired.

I prayed that the forgiveness was real that it would manifest and be actualized.

I cry as I type. For what? Beauty? I do not know.

Metatron gave me a task to do to manifest and actualize the forgiveness. It makes sense as it involves all three names given for the supernals. To the uninitiated, it would make no sense at all. It will take a while.

Metatron then drew a sword and and plunged it straight down through me. Repeatedly. He told me that some things had to go. That it would hurt and that I would be "unhappy" with him for it. I believe him. At the moment, I do not care. I am sure I will.

The three names make sense. I can see how they've tried to manifest before and how I've misapplied them. The tarot aces may have taught me how to apply them properly or, at least, one technique for doing so that will serve me well for a time.

I am in such ignorance and yet see more now.

I feel quiet. Stunned. Unsure of what to do with myself. Peaceful. Tired.  Yet, I could stay this way. I could feel this way forever and be just fine.

This experience has not actualized yet. At this moment, it has but it is up to me to make it real long term. I will strive to do so.

The Way Magick Works

I posted a bit ago about paying off my car early. I used the psychological/energy model and my personal understanding of the tarot twos, specifically the two of disks. I did this because I am already more than capable of doing this myself. I don't need a windfall. I simply need to do it.

I am very careful with my bills. I don't make many mistakes with the bi-weekly bill paying process. My car payment is auto-deducted from my check. I never have to worry about that. This week, I sent the first decent biweekly installment of my pay off plan. It isn't in full swing yet but it is a decent chunk when one does it with discipline every two weeks. I accidentally paid it twice.

It also never occurred to me that I'd have to pay the repairman that showed up today for his work. I've only had it planned for a month. I also overpaid on my holiday credit card balance to get my credit card balance damn near zero. Unfortunately, my math skills sucked and this next two weeks will be a bit difficult!

None of this was planned but I've just enforced some discipline in advance!

Psychological/energy model magick works pretty much internally. Therefore this is the type of thing that must happen. Had I used a spirit, this could have happened or something external like a gift or a loan refi or who knows what.

It is important to know which tool to use for which type of magick. I saw little need to ask the universe to sacrifice to make this goal happen. Nor did I see a need for any other human to sacrifice anything financially for this. Frankly, it is only important to me. Sometimes practical magick can be purely internal.

A Line and Link

The master must be able to hold himself in abeyance.

The above line is mine. Well as mine as any thought can be said to belong to anyone. Who knows, I may have read it somewhere long forgotten. It came to me unbidden while my mind was occupied with mundane things. I think I was cleaning the bathroom counter top.

While I can see it applying directly to my Leo nature and it's fiery call to perpetual action, I think it is likely true for all. I've hesitated to post it for fear that it looks like I am calling myself a master. I make no such claim.

Tonight I found this post from a Christian Mystic blogger and author. The thoughts are related.

The Question

As most readers are aware, I've been dealing a lot with Metatron.

He is by far the loudest, most powerful, persistent Angel I've encountered so far. The only category he doesn't top is intimidating. That goes to one of the Shemhamphoresch Angels.

He's been asking me a question that I've been hesitating to post here. His question is this, "How do you [I] want your spirituality to manifest [specifically]?" To date, I've always said something like, to manifest the highest part of my soul or to be one with "God". These answers are vague. They've become unsatisfying. Each answer I come up with is fundamentally wrong.

I'm working on it.

Forgiveness

I still haven't achieved this in any form but the rock in my stomach that appears when I think of it isn't as heavy.

LBRP Results

Yesterday, I did an LBRP to rid myself of this cold/flu or whatever it is I have. I am pleased to announce that they banishing worked. Now, I can't hear.

Well, I can hear but not very well.

So, I Do an LBRP

First Stage of war, I do an LBRP and see the lights of a distant city in each quarter or is a constellation of stars? I do the BRH and see three pyramids at each quarter.

I see the illness poor into my hands. What I thought was an airy illness is a green brackish water. I throw it out of the temple and seal the quarter.

I invoke Metatron with a single word. He arrives. I ask some favors of him. He grants them and then bids me to depart the temple without another word. I do so.

Of Course You Realize, This Means War

Not long ago, I posted that I was getting back to the work to confront my lower self. I wrote one diary entry. The same evening, my dad's wife arrives at my doorstep, I've lived her six years. This is her first visit. Do I really need to mention that we don't get along? We each have our reasons.

The next day, I'm sick. I have been sick ever since. The fever came and broke Christmas Eve. It is now back.

There are no coincidences in magick. This is my lower nature f---ing with me. The game is on!

(picture from: http://media.comicvine.com/uploads/1/13704/301617-43434-bugs-bunny_super.jpg)

A Success

My work frustrations tried to continue today.

I had to be in a meeting with someone that cannot stop talking. This is bad enough but she never says anything. What she does say is completely contradictory. She can not follow logic and, if a question is asked, she answers it three or four contradictory ways. She is also loud. To make this worse, she is a nice and friendly person.

She drives me up a wall, down the other side and I eventually begin chewing on the mortar.

Today, she got to me. I was irritated. I set up a wall of earth and then pushed myself into earth as well. The other four heads in the room turned and looked at me oddly. They knew something just happened but had no clue as to what. The woman kept right on going on. Ugh.

Yes, I was irritated and frustrated but I did not act out verbally. My body language showed it after a while but that was all. Other people side lined her and I came out none the worse for ware.

I was also having difficulty with a project. I couldn't see things clearly because I had too much information in one place. I projected the Ace of Swords over my computer screen and had the job done in five minutes.

Understanding the elements is perhaps the most practical benefit of magick that I know. It comes in handy in all sorts of situations.

A Dangerous Game

A while back I asked the Druid for a bit of perspective. He did his magic and returned with a task for me to complete. I embarked upon said task only to find the problem to all but disappear. The other techniques I've been doing have worked just fine. So good that I forget the journey already in motion.

This is dangerous.

Never ever do magick and then turn your back to it. You may as well test pogo sticks in a minefield.

I am getting back on task.

Forgiveness

I am still working on this. The knot of 'anti-forgiveness' in my belly is tough. It feels literally physical. Letting go is hard work but I know later, I will describe it as the easiest thing in the world and wonder why others can't do it too.

Interesting...

(Said like Arte Johnson) Interesting, very interesting.

This weekend we drove down to Bakersfield, CA to have a holiday dinner with some friends. There were only six of us, a few kids. Three antique chairs were damaged and one shattered beyond recognition for no apparent reason. It just fell apart spectacularly as the person was sitting in it.

Normally, I'd take this as some sort of omen. I've got nothing. Nada. Sometimes, weird stuff happens.

After the MOXT working, some things have been intriguing. I must keep those things to myself for now. Its wisdom is appreciated. I've been more in the mood to write since. So, hopefully, I will be back on track soon.

This One I Will Post

Sweet Babalon!

MOXT

This morning My Gal and I worked with the Enochians. The angel in question MOXT was generated using the tablet of union. The concept of this work was given to me by Lon as we discussed my tarot class. I don't think we've ever worked Enochian during the day time. When I asked it (I received no impression of gender), it explained, "not everything works at night." MOXT is daytime work.

MOXT was very calm for me and subtle. There was lots of talk about obtaining and acting upon wisdom. He used a lot of geometric shapes to explain himself.

Normally, I post in much greater detail about such interactions but today, I cannot. It would seem MOXT either makes me more internal or simply doesn't want something things discussed. I have not bothered to ask which but I will follow my intuition.

As previously mentioned, all of my (our) Enochian work is based on Enochian Vision Magick: An Introduction and Practical Guide to the Magick of Dr. John Dee and Edward Kelley

Pillars and Spheres

Of late, I've been telling you about how great work has been going. It has been awesome. I've never felt more comfortable in a work place. Things are smooth and damn near easy. Though the last few days have been difficult. Today, all was back to awesome. What caused the fluctuation?

The only variable was that I'd stopped doing Jason Miller's Pillars and Spheres meditation. I began again last night. I can not begin to tell you how much more stable earthy I've become using that. My back even feels better. Work has become wonderful, great, easy, together. No hassles.

That one meditation has made me more comfortable and happier within the work place than anything that I've done. Long time readers have seen many posts about the work place emotions I've worked hard to conquer. As long as I do that meditation, they are gone, gone, gone.

Jason's meditation can be found in The Sorcerer's Secrets: Strategies in Practical Magick. This link will take you straight to Amazon. His other book is Protection & Reversal Magick: A Witch's Defense Manual (Beyond 101).

Buy them. Buy them now. 


Disclosure: This blog is linked to Amazon. If you click a link and then buy anything from Amazon, I will make a paltry sum, like twenty cents or something. They send a check if I hit the $20.00 mark. Nothing will be recommended due to monetary gain!

Forgiveness II

A while back, I posted on Forgiveness.

Last night, I invoked Metatron and Sandalphon. Metatron to help me forgive. Sandalphon to both ground that and give wings to my prayer.

I was shocked to learn the first person I must forgive. I expect it to be myself but it was not. I am working on it.

I've been calling on Metatron more and more of late. Though, I've not posted about it. Metatron comes to me in stronger form than most angels.

Pantheacon Bound

My presentation on the Tarot Pips will be at Pantheacon this year. The tentative schedule was released to presenters with the provision it is not published as changes can occur. I wasn't exactly thrilled with my time slot but it was slightly worse last year and still 80 people showed up.

I was disappointed that one of my favorite annual events, Jason Mankey's Morrison Ritual, was not selected. It has become a Panthecon staple and a big draw. I am not sure why they would reject that one. I am all for giving folks a chance to present that are new and that may be the reason. Yet, Jason's act is so good, it is sad he got the ax.

Perhaps I Shouldn't

But I will...

Quotes and Other things

Check this heartwarming story here and then read the rest of this post. I will talk about it, after I ramble about some other stuff but check the story before continuing.

I haven't referred people to a specific blog post in a while. Long time readers will remember many a link to Jason Miller's blog. Here is one more. The thought as hit a few blogs of late but Jason nailed it right on the head. So, read this one when you have a moment. His post goes without comment.

I had a great morning thanks to understanding the Aces of Cups and Disks today. Work life is really good. I can't tell you how nice it is to say that.

Okay, now back to the first paragraph. What was wrong? Did you notice the word magical had to be in quotes? They reported on something magickal that happened. They had no other word for it. Yet, it had to be in quotes. Any news story about witches, magicians, and even one I saw a year or so back on druids had to have quotes around words I italicized here. How many times have you seen a group of "Christians" (who believe someone was impregnated spiritually and gave birth physically, how much more magickal can you get?), "Muslims" (who walk around a meteorite at least once in their lifetime), "Buddhists" (who believe in more magickal things that I've ever heard of) or "Catholics" (who perform god-eating every Sunday). Never.

Never because they'd never insult those religious/spiritual beliefs by playing quotes around them. Wink wink nod nod, none of this is real.

While they mean nothing by it (most likely), these subtle things can result in a loss of confidence in many new and aspiring occultists. Beware of these little things. Overcome them before they overcome you.

Amazed, Simply Amazed

It has been a busy weekend of blogging. Three days have resulted in six posts and Sunday isn't even over! I hope you can forgive one more.

This is an update over working with the Ace, King and Two of Pentacles.

Today, I have done the following:

Three loads of laundry. Cleaned the kitchen, including sweeping and mopping the tile floors, microwave, stove top, sinks, cleaned the under side of the washing machine lid (wtf?) and dealt with an annoying area of clutter in the bedroom.

Is this a big deal? For me, YES. I am not Mr. Clean. My house is not filthy but it can get cluttered and 'unclean'. Two days ago, I mopped the bathroom floor, cleaned the counter tops, both toilets and shower.

The only cluttered place is the kitchen table which is full of books as this is where I blog, write the book and surf. I could take care of it in less that five minutes.

My work has been going great and I have the cleanest most organized office of my life.

In two weeks, I've downed seven or eight salads, several bunches of grapes and other healthy things. Am I trying to eat healthy? No. I just am. I am attracted to good food.

I have paid an extra part of my car loan. It is just a token payment of intent really but it has been made.

For the most part, I am calm and centered. I am helping people without being overly pushy in several areas of my life and had received private thank you notes from more than one person. In connecting fire with earth, I am living a life of service like I have never done in the past. I am not making any heroic efforts but succeeding in simple little things. It feels good.

My fire has been channeled into earth as I rework the elements of all past initiations. The process of little changes have been amazing. Amazing. Practical as they are, they have calmed my spirit.

Forgiveness

Last night, before falling to sleep, I suddenly began praying to Metatron and my HGA to teach me to forgive. The desire was sincere. The result was fascinating.

Somehow I know that this came about because of my post last night regarding Gabriel. I am not sure why. Perhaps, I followed my own advice. The advice I often give to people going through the dissolution process of initiation is that when you find a personal thing that must be purified, one must speak it aloud. If you're too mortified to say it to another human, you at least have to say it to a mirror but another human is best. One can not keep it internalized and just think about it. One must say it. But I digress.

My entire physical body rejected the idea of forgiveness. I could feel muscle tension start. I could feel nearly every physical part of my body react in some adverse way. I had visions of unpleasant looking creatures. Some of them faded away. Some remained defiant. All of them looked a bit sad, as if they knew their time was numbered. One more food source gone. I have no doubt that some of what they represent via analogy or their actual spirit presence remains. I can live with that, for now.

I then experienced an odd dream. As many of you may already know, the HGA often first appears in dreams as an authority figure. Often that authority figure is a policeman. Last night, I dreamed that two of my good high school friends had broken into a gas station and called me to tell me about it. When I arrived the cop appeared. He asked me if I knew who was in there. I said no. He drew his gun and went through the door of one of the two buildings. When he returned, his fear was obvious. I told him I knew who was in the other building and I would take care of it. He was relieved. I hugged him tight and told him there was no reason to fear.

I then called my friends who had an amiable conversation with the cop.

Cut to the next dream.

This one is more vague but I remember being in a building and being asked to go someplace outside. I had to pass through rooms that belonged to commercially to other people. When I exited, I walked down a bright sunny path but was barred by a gate. The two children (ie sun card?) I was with passed through easily but I was stuck. There was a key but it was owned by someone else and unobtainable. The guardian to Tipereth? Don't know. There was no fear of any kind in this dream.

I then dreamed I was on a space ship of some sort. New life had just been encountered but no one that was trained to meet them presented themselves. I was standing at the airlock with the two children. The female was being way too amorous. I didn't return her attentions but even so, in mundane life, I'd have had a problem.

The doors opened to a brightly colored landscape full of sunshine. I can not recall the alien but he/she/it put me in mind of the guardian of Hod that I experienced some time ago. Could this be the guardian of Tipereth?

The final dream occurred in a bad area of town. It was full of warehouses and destroyed buildings. A murderer was on the loose. "We" were looking for him. Suddenly, a car rolled by with a dead body in the passenger seat. The car rolled by me and into view of the others. I immediately knew the crafty killer had just framed me. I was descended upon by the crowd and about to be shot. There was no fear on my part.

By the way, there is no truth to the idea that one can not die in dreams without dying in real life. Over the past year to year and a half, I've been killed in many dreams. I've witnessed people murdered. I've rescued them from murders. I think this may be an early reflection of the Death card. Could be wrong.

So, the first thought I had this morning was of forgiveness. My body reacted the same way but less so. This will be a work in progress.

Follow-up of Gabriel

In November, I posted regarding a lucid dream with the Archangel Gabriel. In the dream, I asked him to initiate me into his sphere. He morphed into the four phases of the moon. It was a pretty awesome visual. That same day, I had a psychic experience.

Since then, I've learned something. I've had many such experiences. I just didn't recognize them. I am not sure what I expected a psychic experience to be but it wasn't this.

The best examples come from my work. Imagine that with all the earth I've been working with. I've gained an ability to see what is coming. I know that someone that talked to me about something six months ago is suddenly going to bring it up again. I know the day someone is going to mention some project I put on the back burner. These are memories but with impeccable timing.

This fits into something Jason Miller said in a talk he gave in Fresno. He advised us to invoke Gabriel and ask us to make us right with time. I haven't ever been out of time as he described it. He said being out was constantly being told you just missed something good, arrived a minute after your friends had left etc.

Yet since, I've been more right with time. The so-called psychic experiences have just been one part.

This certainly wasn't what I expected but it is very cool.

Another facet has been my work with a particular plant. When it needs water or its artificial lights adjusted, I know it now. The thought appears in my head like a memory only it isn't my memory. It is like an emotional memory but the emotion is slightly foreign.

Anyway, that is my follow-up report for now.

Ripped Off from BJ Swayne

This is from BJ's Facebook with his permission, my italics.

Solomon for Thelemites

So, one of my ongoing arguments concerning modern magic is that many modern magicians miss the fact that much of what is included in contemporary magic and magical initiation systems is intended to prepare the student to become a magician and is not the be all end all of magical practice. Once the student reaches adepthood the real magic begins by synthesizing all those things learned before and using the new perspective and authority which initiation has conferred. Unfortunately for a lot of people it seems the goal is to just do whatever has them at the moment and they forget about knowing themselves, finding their angel, becoming adepts, or whatever else one would like to call it...let alone all the stuff that should come after that...

On Stupidity, Friendship and Respect

Lon DuQuette has come out with a holiday song, which I will not post. Go find it if you want. As many know, I'm a big fan of Lon. I think he gets a bad rap for being able to explain very complex things in a very simplified way. What most people do not realize or do not care to say is that the only way you can do that well is if you know it very well. A great deal of magickal complexity is mental masturbation. Gee, look at what I know! Whatever.

Those same people will hate my book on the tarot. Never mind, my simple approach turned my work life around on a dime. It obviously can't work unless it is complex.

I've seen WitchdoctorJoe control the weather very simply in a manner most of Lon's critics would decry. Who cares? It worked. I've seen Lon do absolutely nothing and make a man disappear. To my eyes, literally. Yup, the man is a hack.

Every time I've spoken to Lon, he'd demonstrated keen insight and spoken just above my leveling of understanding. Which forces me to think. He's also spoken of things at a higher level than his books. Which, I wouldn't have understood unless I'd both read them and done the work to gain a deeper understanding. I respect Lon.

Knowing the man and knowing the other songs he sings, I interpret his art in a particular way. Yet, even I cringed at this one. It is so unbelievably anti-Christian and mean sounding that I was taken aback. Given that I am a boarder-line Christian bigot, this reaction should be taken seriously. It is one thing to offend RO (see his post) when you rant against Christianity. Offending me, is a whole new level.

So, RO is going to throw out every book Lon ever wrote or some such thing. Assuming he had them as they were useful to him at some level, what happened? The words are suddenly less meaningful? If they were valued at all before this song, they should hold the same value. They didn't become more or less true.

I know Enochian Vision Magick opened the Enochian portal for RO. Is he going to close it now because Lon introduced it to him? I think that would be foolish.

So, some folks would terminate everything they have to do with Lon over this. Friends may walk away. If they do, they were never his friend to begin with.

RO and I are friends. Yet, RO has sent me some personal IMs that I found to be emotionally hurtful and mean spirited. I am still his friend. Why? Because any jackass can be any other jackass's friend when all is well. Friendship is hanging on to someone when they are being wrong or doing something wrong. It is not proper to support an action you feel is wrong even if done by a friend. It is proper to support that friend.

Yes, I will admit their are limits that each of us must set.

Americans are a pretty intolerant as a lot. Magicians need to be better. Magicians need to see the big picture, not a single action or belief. To end associations merely for one incident or even a small series of incidents makes us no better that Ted Haggard's friend's, who disowned him because he is gay or 'gayish' or acts out. They never stopped to realize how horrible their friend must feel to spout those beliefs and be unable to stop himself from acting in a contrary manner. Where is their compassion?

I've seen this a lot in the Work. Our mouths reveal our egos and our actions reveal our contradictions. It is hurtful but that is where the Great Work begins. So to my friends in the Work, I will not abandon you when you screw up. I will tell you when you're wrong but I will do it while standing beside you. We are all more than our mistakes. Isn't offering support in times like these the true measure of Love, Friendship, Respect and Compassion?

Lower Self

Some of you may remember posts about how I do not like my behavior at work. I've worked very hard on changing. I've had some acts of magick work to smooth some things out. Overall, I get a lot done and get it done well. My problem is that I vent my frustration at the obstacles that occur. They occur in any workplace. There is always someone with myopic vision that can only see their job, or some rule that prevents common sense, or some political move that is utterly self-serving. Sometimes, it is normal reality. For instance, we are facing tough economic times and that prevents me from purchasing equipment that would allow other people to do their jobs more efficiently.

Regardless, I get frustrated and I vent. Usually at other humans. Bad. I don't like it.

So, I saw a shaman friend who did a journey and told me to keep a journal which would eventually be used to evoke my lower self to appearance so that I may have a little chat. I'm not foolish enough to believe that one's lower self can be banished but, when I started, I did believe that I could control it. Perhaps I was wrong. Perhaps, the goal is understanding it.

The first couple of weeks I wrote in my journal on four subjects a day per the shaman's advice. Nothing new or riveting emerged, except that some stuff was hard to look at and type. No surprise there. Some stuff is hard to think about.

Then, I stopped. I literally forget to do it until I'm too tired to care or already in bed.

Tragedy right?

Nope.

I've also been working with a lot of earth. Mostly the Ace, King and two of the Thoth deck. Visualizations mostly. Visualizations born of the understandings provided by the Enochians and to be revealed in my book. Simple stuff. Absurdly simple. "Cutting edge tarot" as it was put by Lon DuQuette.

So, I've been using these cards at work and in the home.

I'm happy. I am a Leo. My hair is on fire half the time. There is always an argument just below the surface. Nope. Not now. I am happy. Why?

Earth.

There is a subtle connection between Earth and Fire or so the Golden Dawn teaches. I've found that. My work life has improved so much in organization alone that I'm simply not frustrated. I can be slightly overwhelmed. There are 18 items on my to do list for tomorrow. Some of them complex. But I'm not frustrated.

Earth. I understand earth and fire now. I am working with it.

After a while it will be air and then water and then recapitulation of fire. The cycle continues.

Why am I posting this today? Because today, I almost fell into it again. I almost expressed frustration but instead, I saw it coming. Today, I paused. Today, I channeled that energy into a tarot card filter. Today, it worked.

Car Pay-Off Magick

Will be done with the pictured card. Details to follow after the spell has been in operation for some time. Do not hold your breath. You will turn blue and fall down.

Twos represent a position of unstoppable success and are used magickally to exploit a position of being on the high ground (as in a battle). All the two's carry the same meaning colored by their suits.

For a detailed logical outline of why twos mean this, please purchase my book. Which has not been published yet but will be or see my lecture at Pantheacon 2010.

More on the Ace of Disks

I have been working quite hard with the tarot over the last few months. I'm actually in the process of writing a book on my discoveries. I've been combining my work with Jason Miller's course. That is not to say his course has anything to do with my book and my book has nothing to do with his course.

The Aces of Disks and Cups have figured heavily in this. I am not going to reveal what I've used them for but I will say that once you understand the meaning behind those cards, a simple visualization can have a huge and nearly instant impact.

But like anything else involving magick there are residual issues. Unexpected things happen that should have been expected.

For instance, in working with the Ace of Disks, my office and house have become more organized and cleaner. My mental self is very grounded. I have paid my bills a week early. I've worked out a budget that should pay off my car very early etc.

The point is that when you immerse yourself in an element, other things will happen that are within that element's purview. In working out my budget, I realized something. I use a rewards type credit card. I pay off my bills mostly on time. So, my end of month balance is pretty low. Given the cash back policy, I actually made nearly $200 by using credit cards this year! Now financial gurus will tell you never to use cards because you spend more with plastic than you to with cash. They are right. Yet this is certainly better than paying them interest!

So why bring that up here? One, because I am damn impressed with myself for making a profit off a credit card company. Secondly, because this does reveal I'm not exactly foolish with money.

This applies here because I've created an internal environment that consists of a measure of fiscal discipline. So what happens if I use that internal environment as a base for magick? I don't have to create financial discipline. I do not have to create income. I simply have to increase discipline into certain areas to pay off that car. Why use internal psychological magick? Because I could have done this before. I knew I could have but I didn't. Magicking up a small change of focus shouldn't take much effort at all. The ground work has already been laid. Lucky ground work!

This is where a variety of models comes into play. Do I really need an external spirit to do this? Unlikely. A bit of internal psychological model "energy" magick should work just fine.

An Ace and A God

I've been working with the Ace of Pentacles -- doing a bit of practical magick for a change. My work office and house are as neat and tidy as they've been in years (at least of my own doing). I feel like a Virgo!

On another note:

I sat at work yesterday and noticed my Ganesha statue. My Gal gave it to me some time ago. I had the thought that doing the offerings makes the gods and other spirits seem more real. The logical conclusion is they move closer so of course they are more real. There is a non-believing psychological reason as well. At any rate, I immediately left my office for a brief meeting. In that person's office I inadvertently walked off with the man's pen. I noticed when I returned to me office. There was a label taped onto the pen. Geniesha.

So, to the elephant god that rides a mouse, thanks for hanging around.

Enlightenment

I had a discussion the last night with a friend that said he didn't trust enlightenment. Once we got to talking, I realized that what he was doing wasn't all that far from what I was doing. The difference is I say that I seek enlightenment or Oneness and he says he seeks to understand. He is more comfortable with that word. That is okay by me.

When I started, I thought being enlightened was one big huge thing. Suddenly, you just knew, birds sang, trumpets sounded, maidens adorned your head with flowers etc. Well, it wasn't that bad but you get the idea.

Since I started, I've had little realizations. Small things really. Tiny moments of having a slightly better understanding of myself, the world around me, the gods, and the Great Universal It.

When I started, I was a huge schmuck. Now, I am much less of schmuck. Maybe I'm just a schmu. At least I may not rhyme with f--- anymore.

Jason Miller will tell you such work is faster through meditation. I have no basis with which to argue with him but I'm a magician not a monk. The trap, as previously mentioned in my recent post on the Golden Dawn, is that magick can be used to remain unenlightened.

It is possible to do something stupid and rather than learn from it, distract the world. It is possible to suffer consequences and then magick them away without examining the root the causes.

I can't tell you how many little spells, prayers and thoughts I've had over the course of the Work asking, What do I need to learn from this? It is a simple question that can yield hard answers. It is harder than doing magick.

For me, the most fun is when I encounter a situation in which I did the wrong thing and realized what I had done after the fact. Then as the universe keeps throwing the same situation at me, getting slightly better at it, noticing sooner but still failing etc. The first time one actually doesn't do whatever it is, is great. But enlightenment isn't marked by resisting temptation.

The marker is when you've been confronted again by the same set of circumstances make a totally different, and correct, decision without ever realizing it is the same situation AND never even being tempted to fall into the other habit. One is no longer tempted when that impure part of you is gone. The realization only comes when you look back and realize it was the same old test. That is fun. That is being enlightened. It is enlightened in only one narrow aspect of the self but enlightenment it is.

That makes it all worth it.

Weak Points

Jastiv asked about the weak points of magickal manifestation I mentioned in this post. I offered a short explanation in the comments section. Others may have had the same question and not seen that answer.

Weak points or paths of least resistance are really strong points. Let us say that I want to do magick to get a job that pays me more money. The easiest path of manifestation is through my current employment. Even if the spell is cast very generically, "get me a job that pays me more," the likelihood is that it will appear from within my current place of employment. If I have an in-law that owns a company that also may be a path of least resistance. These are actually strong points in my personal income generation potential. The are weak points magickally because the magick will flow through the place of least resistance.

To sure these weak points up, some people will place limits on the spell and say, "give me a job that pays more but not at Uncle Bill's Shoe Emporium." As Jason Miller pointed out some time ago on his blog, this weakens the force of the entire spell.

To avoid working for Uncle Bill. It may be better to pick a given industry. "Give me a job in the automotive field that pays better than my current job." This spell can not get to Uncle Bill as he is in the shoe business. The irony here can be that Uncle Bill just opened a division that sells steal toed boots to auto mechanics!

Thinking of these things ahead of time can allow you to focus on your strengths.

For example, if you know that the magick is more likely to flow within the confines of your current employment and you know what experience you have and you know a the companies needs, you may be able to manufacture a new position within that company with a few spells and well placed words. This fits Jason's saying, first the working and then the work. Only in this circumstance you can do the work, the working, some more work and some more working as you see the situation unfold.

Why Don't I?

Some time ago, I made modest offerings to generic spirits. I made offerings to the spirits of my home, the land surrounding my home, the spirits that helped me and the 'ultimate' spirit. At work, I made humble offerings as well. I made offering of energy, force, light, vril or whatever term RO wants me to use. It made me feel good. Yet, I stopped.

In taking Jason's class, I am again running into the offerings issue. I had to do some thinking as to why I stopped.

Part of it has to be that I've never found a spirit I really resonated with. I have found some that are pleasant enough but I'd not invite them over to a weekly dinner. I haven't really resonated with any god either.

This made me realize that my attitude toward spirits is the same as my attitude toward relationships. I'm not very good at them on any level. I try but I'm not. My reticence about spirits and forming deep bonds is a reflection on how I've dealt with humans. Though, in the human realm, I am really working on forming deeper friendships with folks. So, maybe that will reflect towards my attitude with spirits. I don't know.