Last night, before falling to sleep, I suddenly began praying to Metatron and my HGA to teach me to forgive. The desire was sincere. The result was fascinating.
Somehow I know that this came about because of my post last night regarding Gabriel. I am not sure why. Perhaps, I followed my own advice. The advice I often give to people going through the dissolution process of initiation is that when you find a personal thing that must be purified, one must speak it aloud. If you're too mortified to say it to another human, you at least have to say it to a mirror but another human is best. One can not keep it internalized and just think about it. One must say it. But I digress.
My entire physical body rejected the idea of forgiveness. I could feel muscle tension start. I could feel nearly every physical part of my body react in some adverse way. I had visions of unpleasant looking creatures. Some of them faded away. Some remained defiant. All of them looked a bit sad, as if they knew their time was numbered. One more food source gone. I have no doubt that some of what they represent via analogy or their actual spirit presence remains. I can live with that, for now.
I then experienced an odd dream. As many of you may already know, the HGA often first appears in dreams as an authority figure. Often that authority figure is a policeman. Last night, I dreamed that two of my good high school friends had broken into a gas station and called me to tell me about it. When I arrived the cop appeared. He asked me if I knew who was in there. I said no. He drew his gun and went through the door of one of the two buildings. When he returned, his fear was obvious. I told him I knew who was in the other building and I would take care of it. He was relieved. I hugged him tight and told him there was no reason to fear.
I then called my friends who had an amiable conversation with the cop.
Cut to the next dream.
This one is more vague but I remember being in a building and being asked to go someplace outside. I had to pass through rooms that belonged to commercially to other people. When I exited, I walked down a bright sunny path but was barred by a gate. The two children (ie sun card?) I was with passed through easily but I was stuck. There was a key but it was owned by someone else and unobtainable. The guardian to Tipereth? Don't know. There was no fear of any kind in this dream.
I then dreamed I was on a space ship of some sort. New life had just been encountered but no one that was trained to meet them presented themselves. I was standing at the airlock with the two children. The female was being way too amorous. I didn't return her attentions but even so, in mundane life, I'd have had a problem.
The doors opened to a brightly colored landscape full of sunshine. I can not recall the alien but he/she/it put me in mind of the guardian of Hod that I experienced some time ago. Could this be the guardian of Tipereth?
The final dream occurred in a bad area of town. It was full of warehouses and destroyed buildings. A murderer was on the loose. "We" were looking for him. Suddenly, a car rolled by with a dead body in the passenger seat. The car rolled by me and into view of the others. I immediately knew the crafty killer had just framed me. I was descended upon by the crowd and about to be shot. There was no fear on my part.
By the way, there is no truth to the idea that one can not die in dreams without dying in real life. Over the past year to year and a half, I've been killed in many dreams. I've witnessed people murdered. I've rescued them from murders. I think this may be an early reflection of the Death card. Could be wrong.
So, the first thought I had this morning was of forgiveness. My body reacted the same way but less so. This will be a work in progress.