The upside is that I am much more refreshed upon waking.
In doing some more reading of the material, I find myself to be disappointed with myself. Though, that isn't the right word. I want to say I haven't worked hard enough to experience the sephiro and paths in a more direct way. But, I know I work hard. Perhaps, I am realizing that work has either been misdirected or is in need of redirection.
This should not be taken as a post of emotional angst. I am quite comfortable with me. I just know there is so much more.
2 comments:
Dude! Chill!
I've been working the lucid dreaming material in the Stavish book for (let me count on my fingers here...) over seven months, and have made only the slowest of incremental progress. I haven't moved any farther in the book, since I don't see the point before I get this stuff under my belt.
I've been working with dreams for thirty-three years now, and I've come to learn that lucid dreaming is a hard-won skill. I can go for long periods without any, and then (BAM!) I get several in the space of a few weeks. Dreamwork takes persistence.
As I mentioned before, I've had previous experience with using the alma ata psychic center (nape of neck) to affect night-time consciousness, but I didn't want to talk about it because I plan to write about this whole Stavish/lucid dreaming thing on my blog. Seeing as how it's going to be some time before I get to it, I may as well spill the beans. Concentrating on that psychic center while one is falling asleep is a technique AMORC teaches in the second degree. I found it had profound effects on my dream consciousness, especially combined with other techniques (vowel sounds, visualizations) taught in that degree.
So, when I saw the technique of visualizing chosen symbols in that psychic center, I knew what Stavish had based the technique on, and I also knew it had great potential.
That having been said, I find it is a very easy technique to get early, flashy results from (a burst of energy and activity when the center begins waking up), but it's very difficult to get either consistent or controlled/controllable results. I think it's the nature of that psychic center, which isn't lofty and spiritual, like the ones higher on the body, and it isn't more tangible and instinctive like the ones lower on the body. It's that tricky crossover. But that't the whole points, right? You're trying to learn how to work with "inspiration" just as it concretizes into symbols. A real juggling act.
I see that you've chosen to use the second option Stavish offers, of using the throat center instead. I didn't do that since I'd already had experience with the alma ata. I'm considering trying the other center to see if I get better/different results (Duh! Of course they'll be different!)
I've been through the elements several times, using several different sequences (the latest being following the element of the sign the moon is in), and other ritual reinforcements (all of which I will blog about). Results? Not so hot yet. But occasionally interesting enough to keep me trying. I'm convinced the results are cumulative, and it takes a while to "build up some equity" before the "interest" starts compounding, to use a financial metaphor.
But isn't that the advantage of being older and wiser? I don't consider it a wasted seven months. I'll keep working at it. You might be interested in reading an article Stavish wrote called "How Long Does it take?" (http://www.hermetic.com/stavish/essays/how-long.html) Puts things in perspective.
I knew I was writing poorly when I posted that. It isn't that I expect immediate success. It is that I should have kept up the exercises in the Stavish book over the last year rather than letting them lapse. I feel I am internally ready to explore the other world but have not worked hard enough to obtain those particular skills. This is the equivalent of wanting to be a writer and therefore studying a broad base of knowledge instead of learning how to write.
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