Follow-up LBRP, Reclaiming and Pan

LBRP

Naufragiobell's response to my answer was wonderful. Using art work as a context for learning ritual and magickal correspondences is a proven tool that I should have included in my list. Even those without great artistic skills can benefit from such exercises. 

Regarding the art work influencing how Nauf perceives the angels, I wouldn't worry about it for a couple of reasons. First, the perception of the angels is unique to the practitioner. Purists will argue that as distinct beings they have a reality beyond our perception. True. However, our perception is mutable depending upon our stage in development and they are capable of displaying themselves to us in a wide variety of manners. If you do the LBRP for years and your perceptions never change, I'd wonder about your ability to grow as a magician.

Reclaiming

Lavannah wondered why Reclaiming has so much ire pointed in their direction.  While my last post designated my current perspective, many of the individuals in Reclaiming will continue to challenge my ability to be accepting. There is a huge difference between being pro-female and anti-male.  I have gone to Reclaiming rites and been glared at and once outright confronted strictly because I was male. I am all for them being pro-female. I am I a baffled by anyone with an anti-male stance.

My Gal will say I'm the most feminist man she knows because I demand equal rights AND equal responsibility. I am 100% in favor of woman having the exact same rights as responsibilities as men. Therefore, I believe women should have to sign-up for Selected Service and risk the draft just like men. Say that to most feminists and they will weasel out and so no one should be drafted. This is possibly true. However, as long as men are, woman should be. Equal rights, means equal responsibility. Period.

As far as Gordon's stance, I understand it, as it used to be my own. The Universe has a funny way of reflecting of your old self once you have a new self. Claiming another's perspective on spirituality is 'stupid' is merely a reflection of one's need of self-differentiation. Such a need reveals the true meaning behind the phrase so many occultists use but do not understand, "killing the ego."

Killing the ego does not mean destroying one's personality, how could it? No matter how enlightened one is, the inner self manifests outwardly in a manner we call a personality. Destroying one's ego is removing the illusion that we are separate from the rest of humanity. The need to separate is expressed in viewing other people as 'less than', even when you sincerely feel you are not 'more than'. 

Those that know the tarot know the swords are expressions of great pain. Why? Everything in the tarot can be explained through the aces. Each ace contains one concept and only one concept. To steal and morph Lon Milo DuQuette's fun line, the illusion is that we have no idea how big one is. In the case of the Ace of Swords, the idea is self-differentiation. The human ego must separate itself to understand itself as an individual. Kabbalists out there will recognize the reflection of the Keter/Chokmah link. While apparently necessary, this individualization causes pain. Separation inherently causes pain, every time, all the time. 

Sometimes separation in necessary. For instance, an abusive spouse must be discarded. However, even those that have done so and are glad to be rid of the other, know the pain of marriage and divorce. Killing the ego is recognizing the policeman that gave you that ticket is you. He is enforcing the part of you that needs an ordered society. The cranky customer service representative is you, having a hard day too. The person seeking divinity in a manner that you regard as stupid, is you too. For surely, she is just as mystified at your efforts. 

Those are easy examples. There are more difficult scenarios. Can we see ourselves when someone makes a pass at our spouse? Can we see ourselves when someone tries to steal the shirt off our back? Can we see ourselves when emotional or physical violence is done upon us? 

Swords are painful. Differentiation is painful. Killing the ego is not about self-hatred but expansion into Unity. 

Pan

I thought I'd post just a little more on the Pan consecration. As readers of this blog know, I've been fighting Pan off or trying to come to some sort of truce. I realized it has only been two and a half months since he's been actively around me but if feels like much longer.

Friday night, I was sitting in a jacuzzi and contemplating the fact that water is an etheric cleanser. Suddenly, I felt him there. He asked it if was time. I said yes. He pointed out it was twilight. I departed the Jacuzzi and dedicated the necklace to him. I did not dedicate myself to him. Instead, I have become willing to explore a relationship with the god. I believe I will get there fully as Pan is a manifestation of the spirit point of the pentagram. However, there are some personality issues to work out. Spirit manifest in many forms after all. I have learned not to jump into magickal agreements quickly.

Last night, I asked Pan to channel the energy of my Wiccan initiation someplace into my life but not back to that tradition. Yes, that is weaselly (especially given the above) but I am only human. The first step is seeing the path. Walking along it takes time. I have also been asking a certain GD angel to help with astral projection.

I dreamed of being in some sort of facility or home for the mentally anguished. Some one from my group whose name begins with a D was there. He was very happy to have made a break through with one of the young men. I congratulated him. At some point, I was called upon to do something magickal. Mostly, it was a display of intuition for many people that were sitting around. 

When I was finished, someone said something like, "Hey, you missed me." I turned to see a male figure sitting cross-legged on the floor. He was in a simple white gown and his hair was patchy or cut into some odd design that showed a lot of bald areas. I looked at him with astral eyes and he began to glow. First white and then yellow. I let out some sort of exclamation. His aura had various shapes moving through the white and yellow light but I could not fully distinguish them.

Suddenly, I felt a power. There is a peculiar sensation to astral projection where it feels like every part of you is vibrating. My perineum felt like that. I began to float about the room. The sensation was that I was floating on a hyperactive chakra. I moved about the room and came to a wall. I said, "I am going to float through the wall." I reached out my hand to watch it pass through but the wall turned out to be solid. Only then did I realize that I was alone in a white, perfectly cube-shaped room with this being. 

When I landed, "I said, "I can do that to myself, I just can't make myself move." He responded by saying something like "interesting." 

This is a pretty clear astral stimulation of my root chakras. Is this a response from Pan or the GD angel? The man did not look like any form of Pan I've seen. Could it have been both?