Monday, January 16, 2012

Synthesis

Today, I visited the shrink's office. About 20 minutes in we just stared at each other. There was nothing to say. I knew we were done two weeks ago but in this moment, he realized that we had completed our time together. He asked questions about every issue we had talked about. I spoke with ease of each. The details of my current life bore out that I had left them behind and now own a new perspective. These answers confirmed my new state of health. Once he confirmed with me verbally that we were done, he asked for a copy of my book upon its completion.

Little does he know, he'll be listed in the acknowledgments.

Israel Regardie wrote that psychotherapy is necessary to complete the work of the outer order of the Golden Dawn. I am not sure that I agree that everyone needs it but I certainly did. In my work in that tradition I alchemically purified so many things. I did the Work but there was one hump I needed non-occult help to get past. That hump was a ball of issues that looked like many but was really only one. The process of getting past that one issue, released my spirit.

My outer order work is complete.

Within me is the transformative fire that I need to continue this spiritual journey and share with those in need. Within me is the cool green fire of proper of desire. Upon my brow is the sun of my spirit. The various levels of my soul and body now work with me instead of being in disharmony. And, within every part of me, is the undying complete and utter faith of my soul's higher purpose. Like the Neteru, I unfold into existence.

By human standards, I am still imperfect. Life will still get hard sometimes but the underlying theme is now living with my spirit instead of trying to find it. Life is exciting.

Manifestation Meditation Book

I did some very nice writing on this today.

Dreams

I awoke this morning remembering a very detailed dream. Once again, I was in a city. However, as soon as I remembered, it was gone. Completely. Poof! It was there one second and about to be written down and the next it was gone. Shrug.

The last few days, I have been on pain meds. They were necessary for sleep. That may explain why the dreaming is more difficult to grab onto. I am not sure.


3 comments:

andrewbwatt said...

My one psychotherapy session occurred as a pre-condition to my entry into seminary, in the summer of 1994. The guy asked me a bunch of questions related to my family and to my life experiences. We met in a darkened room, him in a chair, me on a couch (seated, not reclining), and he noted down answers from time to time. After a while, he said, "This has been interesting. You were my last visitor of the day, and I was sure we'd only be here an hour. Instead, I've given you an extra half-hour."

"Why's that?" I asked.

"You're refreshingly normal," he laughed. "Have a nice time at seminary."

Robert said...

That is a great story!

nutty professor said...

Within me is the transformative fire that I need to continue this spiritual journey and share with those in need. Within me is the cool green fire of proper of desire. Upon my brow is the sun of my spirit. The various levels of my soul and body now work with me instead of being in disharmony. And, within every part of me, is the undying complete and utter faith of my soul's higher purpose. Like the Neteru, I unfold into existence.

These are such moving words, Robert. I don't know what to say. Very beautiful to me.

...thank you for writing them. Again, it means a lot to hear your true voice