Calling to my Nephesch for energy was a big mistake. It is taking me back to old Robert which is not acceptable, except for the part that is.
There is another dynamic to this issue. A previous post indicated I put on white robes. While not a claim of GD adepthood, wearing them is very symbolic and has some psychological ties to that tradition. I believe that I have triggered some level of initiatory fallout in so doing that is tied to the rise of my Nesphesch. Initiations always bring up issues that have not fully been processed. There was one aspect of the very bad thing that I had not dealt with and it came back hard.
The good news is that I now know the issue is stuck in the Nephesch when I thought it was the automatic personality. I know exactly what my Nephesch is railing about from a larger perspective and I know the difference between that and how I am acting out. I just do not know how to heal it. I know the technique just not the specifics as they apply to me.
Because of that, I am taking a break from my healing work for a while. I need to put my head on straight again. I am likely to take a break from blogging as I can see old Robert in recent posts as well. Any comments to my recent posts will published without being read or commented upon unless they are obviously spam or the merest glance makes them appear derogatory. I am likely to post about the last soul reading I did I saw something new that I believe will interest some of you.
I will be back.