Yesterday, I performed a very educational soul reading.
Rather that the usual description of events, I am going to focus on what I learned.
Lately, I have been seeing an overlay upon a person before I get into the meat of the reading. In her case, I saw a goddess, maybe the goddess. She wore a crown and, behind her, the starry night sky. That was just the beginning!
Her animal soul (Nephesch) was Native American. I learned later she is of such ancestry. I was soon struck by the age of her animal soul. I thought them always to be children or in the case of older people early to be mid teenagers. Hers was a fully grown adult male Native American living within a crater like depression in the earth. He had a carved out home, like the Anasazi cliff dwellers. Quickly, I learned Nepesch had lived with her for lifetimes! I had previously posited that animal souls died with the body. Maybe they do as a norm but not hers.
At some point in a prior lifetime, she managed to make whole all her soul parts and this allowed the Nephesch to live on. It makes me recall seeing someone's Nephesch trying to better itself and rise up in worship of the divine. That image now makes so much more sense. Nephesch can live on. As I type, I am amazed at the ontological ramifications of this. I haven't a clue where to start.
So here it gets even more unusual. There are other living beings within the world of her Nephesch. I have seen splinters of the lower self before and even 'thought forms' of trauma or of the reaction to trauma. I have never seen fully autonomous beings within the world of someone's Nephesch. These beings at the direction of her shaman 'lower soul', formed a circle and danced in a counter-clockwise direction. The shaman offered her a gift which represented her full story and was intended to sooth the pain from her internal views of unworthiness.
She refused the gift. I think she is the first one to ever refuse a gift in a soul reading. I think that is because she was well aware of the paradigm altering effect accepting the gift would have.
(Note: this was a gift one part of her soul was giving another part of her soul which was refused. This process is exactly what restrains every aspect of spiritual growth. No matter the religion, refusing or categorizing gifts from G-d delays the inevitable growth of spirit. Pain is the result. Suffering.
Though, suffering is a good thing. It teaches us that the things we thought were important are not. This is why both the Buddha and Jesus suffered so in the wilderness. The suffering on the cross had a different meaning.)
Her automatic personality was next. Normally, this is couched in vague qabalistic symbolism of the generic Tree of Life. Nope. Hers was a full personality! She was HUGE, not fat, HUGE. I am not sure how to interpret that other than as import to my client's life.
From this point, I will this client She of the Spirit.
The woman of her automatic personality appeared seated behind an unadorned table. Perhaps that lack of adornment means that she has no precise religious dogma to appease but accepted the simplicity of spirit. She held, in each hand, a small offering bowl of liquid. She sipped from each one. This was an externally offered and internally accepted libation of the highest order.
Note: Libations and prayers to the Great Spirit, God, the Creatrix, or any god whatsoever must be fully internalized. The offering must come fully from soul sans guilt or worry. It is communion.
This woman in her own priestess.
Once I got past the sheer beauty of this sight, I looked around for the more typical issues of the automatic personality. I found none in the realm of desire. What I found lay within the intellect/emotion center of Hod, the eighth sephira of the Tree of Life. As far as I can tell, this is the most troublesome sephira of them all.
Here she lives with an overexagerated idea regarding her negative impact on others. She not only owns the pain of whomever she hurts but magnifies it beyond all reality. If, emotionally speaking, she kicks your shin, she feels like she broke your leg, owns the pain and the blame, devalues herself and blocks her true Spirit from manifesting fully. She is mistaking compassion (suffering with) with the sensation of pain she feels she caused another. Then she owns it to a ridiculous degree.
There is something more going on here. She is in the process of expanding her soul to include the other. This is what is allowing her to feel such intense pain. It is a bit like making love in that you feel the other's responses as your own. Yet this is beyond the physical and moves into accepting that other into being as a whole -- to stay there.
This is quite painful because everyone is in pain. Given the wide variety of pains we suffer as the human race, no one can know them all. So, when we feel them from within ourselves as felt by the other, they are shockingly intense.
She of Spirit is mistaking the pains of those she loves and respects as caused by her. While true in the most globally generic sense (we are all one, brothers and sisters united, and therefore all our pains are mutually caused and; since we are one, even if not the cause, pain is a shared experience as is love and all other things) it is not true in the personal sense.
The gift of her Shaman nature would have released this tension, removed that ownership of overblown cause and given her a more holistic understanding of her being, her perfection. In lieu of that gift, I advised going to Sedona and seeing the night sky on a night that was just a little cold and contemplating the vastness of the All. She is going in the spring.
I then moved to her Divine Personality. Holy Trees of Life Batman! I saw what can only be described as full Tree DNA. There were thousands of Trees of Life amongst many big ones. They were all interconnected and glorious. At the time, I saw that over lifetimes (she as is old as the Tower of Babel) she has reconciled so many pairs of opposites that the understanding perpetuates to this day. Now, I am reminded of the four world view of the Tree which places the Tree of Life as a whole in each of the four worlds. This in effect makes forty sephiroth. However, within each is another full Tree making 400. Theoretically, there is a Tree in each of those and in each of those and in each of those. Theory no more for Robert, I've seen it. Though, I agree with qabalists that actually trying to work within that structure is impractical.
It was here that I understood how the insecurities of the automatic personality were keeping this beauty from manifesting fully here. Further, that she is very close to being a yogi or 'god-center'. A being so full of spirit that others can see it and take sustenance and inspiration from her very presence. THAT CLOSE.
Yet, those insecurities make her feel so far away and so unworthy. Look in the mirror people, every human in is this place. She is just at the precipice. WOW.
Her immortal soul, a name that no longer seems to work for me after seeing a perpetual Nephesch, just kept pulsing one word, "Go. Go. Go."
I hope she does in this lifetime.
Personally, this impacted me more than learning about the soul structure. Often, I too feel so very far way from manifesting my highest divine nature. Maybe there are simply these same stumbling blocks of insecurity in my way. I can now see several of them. Is it just these or a host more? I shall persevere to find out and slay those dragons. Tally ho! Magick is afoot.