If not, I may blow up. If I am, I may blow up anyway. This stuff is pretty far up the tree only a completely arrogant wanker says, "Oh this will be a cake walk."
I plan to walk the following paths as I did a year or so ago with others:
The Hanged Man
Wheel of Fortune
Stay tuned for high drama or low drama. In this case I will be blogging technique. So, it will be more like the Old Robert blog than the more contemporary stuff you've been reading.
There have been some changes in my philosophy and life that I will be accounting for.
Philosophically, I am getting less and less sure of the idea that overcoming barriers is necessary. Many feel that the trials are important for self-realization. They look at the work like a spiritual obstacle course. Climbing on the rope may build the arm strength needed in order to hop over it again. However, if you fully actualize the work, you will not face that wall again. So the point of arm strength is what exactly?
I began to have doubts watching people do the MM and seeing them overcome things with a minimum of trauma. Here is a case in point that started before I did healing work and before she started the MM. Given that, I am going to do this work fully expecting to hit horrendous blocks that would normally result in big time trauma from which I'd heal, gain realizations and continue on.
However, this fellow by the name of Augustine Burrows points out in his work that there are some traumas form which you never recover. For me, it was the very bad thing. There have been few others that I don't whine about much (imagine that).
Also I believe all suffering is to teach us that nothing matters. I think this is why the Buddha an Jesus suffered so and why so much spiritual growth is predicated on suffering. All that stuff we cling to that defines us doesn't matter. NOTHING MATTERS. Everything we think matters is an illusion, a stopping point. Screw that, no stopping! So, if nothing matters, the obstacles do not matter. The suffering of trauma doesn't matter either. All I have to do is learn that whatever I am clinging to that prevents my knowing the wisdom of these paths and understanding it doesn't matter. Simple right? Um...yeah...well work with me here!
So, this time, I am going to see if I can grow and not be so traumatized. How you might say?
1. I am going in by doing the MM before hand asking that these lessons appear in a way that I can grow without the trauma.
2. I am enlisting the help of Dawn Devani aka The Psychic. She helped heal me from a relationship block and I helped her heal from dual traumas. We seem to have the right 'touch' for each other.
She is going to routinely look for blockages brought up by this work and clear anything unnecessary to the lesson. Thereby reducing the obstacles and hopefully the traumas.
In return I am going to help her do some very deep healing work.
The other reason I am doing this as I will not have the balancing factor of formal initiation here. So, I am thinking this work with Dawn is that balancing factor.
PLEASE feel free to weigh in on this one, on and off line. This is especially requested of you quietly reading GD folks out there and other initiatory groups/people.