If not, I may blow up. If I am, I may blow up anyway. This stuff is pretty far up the tree only a completely arrogant wanker says, "Oh this will be a cake walk."
I plan to walk the following paths as I did a year or so ago with others:
The Hanged Man
Justice
Wheel of Fortune
Hermit
Strength Stay tuned for high drama or low drama. In this case I will be blogging technique. So, it will be more like the Old Robert blog than the more contemporary stuff you've been reading.
There have been some changes in my philosophy and life that I will be accounting for.
Philosophically, I am getting less and less sure of the idea that overcoming barriers is necessary. Many feel that the trials are important for self-realization. They look at the work like a spiritual obstacle course. Climbing on the rope may build the arm strength needed in order to hop over it again. However, if you fully actualize the work, you will not face that wall again. So the point of arm strength is what exactly?
I began to have doubts watching people do the MM and seeing them overcome things with a minimum of trauma. Here is a case in point that started before I did healing work and before she started the MM. Given that, I am going to do this work fully expecting to hit horrendous blocks that would normally result in big time trauma from which I'd heal, gain realizations and continue on.
However, this fellow by the name of Augustine Burrows points out in his work that there are some traumas form which you never recover. For me, it was the very bad thing. There have been few others that I don't whine about much (imagine that).
Also I believe all suffering is to teach us that nothing matters. I think this is why the Buddha an Jesus suffered so and why so much spiritual growth is predicated on suffering. All that stuff we cling to that defines us doesn't matter. NOTHING MATTERS. Everything we think matters is an illusion, a stopping point. Screw that, no stopping! So, if nothing matters, the obstacles do not matter. The suffering of trauma doesn't matter either. All I have to do is learn that whatever I am clinging to that prevents my knowing the wisdom of these paths and understanding it doesn't matter. Simple right? Um...yeah...well work with me here!
So, this time, I am going to see if I can grow and not be so traumatized. How you might say?
1. I am going in by doing the MM before hand asking that these lessons appear in a way that I can grow without the trauma.
2. I am enlisting the help of Dawn Devani aka The Psychic. She helped heal me from a relationship block and I helped her heal from dual traumas. We seem to have the right 'touch' for each other.
She is going to routinely look for blockages brought up by this work and clear anything unnecessary to the lesson. Thereby reducing the obstacles and hopefully the traumas.
In return I am going to help her do some very deep healing work.
The other reason I am doing this as I will not have the balancing factor of formal initiation here. So, I am thinking this work with Dawn is that balancing factor.
PLEASE feel free to weigh in on this one, on and off line. This is especially requested of you quietly reading GD folks out there and other initiatory groups/people.
4 comments:
I still need to post about my work along the paths of Strength and The Hanged Man because the work has been very enlightening.
However, I do have a couple of points I'd like to make. The first is about your comment regarding barriers.
You say, "...I am getting less and less sure of the idea that overcoming barriers is necessary." I believe it is incredibly important to overcome barriers within ourselves on the various paths we walk along our journey of The Great Work. If we don't, those barriers will remain; barriers which get in the way of many things, such as interacting with others appropriately, pushing forward with doing things we enjoy (for whatever reason, usually because some trauma creates a form of cognitive dissonance which keeps us from enjoying whatever it is), social engagement, even causing chronic pain.
Unless we work through the issues causing these barriers, the barriers will remain and continue to block our path to True Will... we will find it very difficult to remember who we once were. They ARE a spiritual obstacle course, but perhaps they are meant to be in order to learn and grow while breaking them down. And working through them may bring up past trauma, but doesn't necessarily cause more trauma. It may only feel that way because old traumas are re-emerging... but only for a time.
It is difficult to heal from trauma without confronting it. As one who has been in recovery mode for just over four years, I can say in all honesty that I would not have come as far as I have, as quickly as I have without confronting past traumas face to face. It has taken four years (to me, much longer than it should) due to a couple of set backs which were out of my control. Since I've been back in control of my healing process (the past two years), I've moved forward much faster than most.
Another point I'd like to make is that I agree with Augustine Burrows that there are some traumas from which we may never recover. However, while this may seem like a very sad thing, almost like a dead end for some of us... as if, "Well, what's the point then?", for some of us, it isn't the point.
The point of the work we do is to learn how to cope with the traumas we've experienced, as well as the resulting stress, and perhaps chronic pain (both emotional and physical in some cases), so that we can still live productive lives.
It's the coping skills which assist us with living life and enjoying life to the fullest degree possible.
We will never be the same people we were prior to the traumas occurring, but we can still learn to be happy within our own bodies again; happy enough within our lives in spite of the traumas which may continue to plague us. The trick is understanding the traumas will always be a part of us now, understanding there will always be triggers, for we cannot avoid the triggers without hiding within our homes and becoming like hermits; and what kind of life is that? When we learn this and learn how to cope when the triggers strike, that is when we have won our lives back from those who caused us pain.
My last point is that I believe suffering is to teach us that everything matters; no, not to cling onto material things, not in that way. But that every event matters, every creature matters, every day matters. In short, life matters.
As I sit here typing this novel of a comment, I feel the breeze stirring the fine hairs on my arms, hear the leaves whispering to each other in the tree outside my back door, taste the sweet coffee on my tongue as I take another sip and realize life is good. I may be tired, my head still hurts as it always does, but overall, today is going to be a good day.
It is time to go hang some beautiful artwork. Thank you for allowing me to ramble on your blog, Robert. You're a good man, you know that?
regarding overcoming barriers: You do present the conventional view. Given I now have reason to doubt my prior agreement with that, I am going to test it.
Famous last words: Hey watch this! What could possibly go wrong?
As far as Burrows, your statements seem to agree with his writings.
Please do not take my nothing matters, idea to the point of Nihilism.
What i mean is that nothing matters. The traumas, things we cling too, hurts etc, have no value. The soul is pure and perfect regardless. The beauty I have seen since that statement is incomparable to what i used to think beauty was.
"What i mean is that nothing matters. The traumas, things we cling too, hurts etc, have no value. The soul is pure and perfect regardless. The beauty I have seen since that statement is incomparable to what i used to think beauty was. "
I like this interpretation. Thank you for clarifying. I need to remember this.
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