Friday, September 9, 2011

A Personal Contradiction

I want to quit. I'm tired of the lessons. I'm tired of magick being everything, all encompassing. I keep saying this.

Despite that, there is a half made GD Style water cup behind me and a sword to be blessed for good friends. Tonight, I did my revised LIRP and asked each element to help balance me.

  • Air said that it is about sight. It will help me see more clearly.
  • Fire said it wasn't its job to balance. Let the other elements do that but just a small amount of fire can transform anything, anyone. Though a person has to want to transform. 
  • Water said that it can help me understand by allowing me to merge with things and others but I really have to want to.
  • Earth said it would build me a pillar, unassailable, upon which I could place my symbol.
  • Spirit said to draw it into my body.
That sounds ho hum. Yet, that new ritual rocks. 

Anyone else see the contradiction? I'm not going to quit doing magick. I cannot. I could stick my toe in my ear more easily. Yet, when I say I want to be done. I do. There must be a reconciling third thing. I am not sure what it is. 

It may be that my role now is no longer to purify, no longer to reconstitute. I just don't know what the new role is. I hope it comes tomorrow. I am sick of where I am at now.

4 comments:

nutty professor said...

Yes that new ritual does rock! Such clarity, such symmetry, nice. Look, face it you are very good at what you do even if you hate it. You have useful skills.

How is it nearly impossible for us to see ourselves as others do?

Kayt Rivermoon said...

What came to me as I read your Invocation...which does ROCK BTW....is that the stage you are looking for is to stop "doing" magick and BECOME Magick, I think it's kind of like the Tohono O'Odham Indians in Arizona, who when told by the Christian Priests that they had to pray, were puzzled. To them, everything they DID was a prayer. They did everything prayerfully. In my own case, an example of this is not needing to say a whole lot to cast a Circle--actually I don't need to THINK a lot about it either. A simple gesture or two and it is THERE. I am a Reiki Master-Teacher and healing with Reiki is a lot like that also. Hope this helps !

Robert said...

Kayt, THANKS!

You used the exact words my mentor used years ago and something clicked into place. I am not sure exactly how to make that transition but you gave me a clue I needed.

Pallas Renatus said...

"Ho-hum", or universal truths that don't lend themselves well to words? There's a huge gulf between intellectually understanding "Air is about sight" and living the truth behind that statement. When we outgrow intellectual understanding, we move on to doing. When we outgrow doing, we move on to being.