I have been practicing a great deal of meditation of late. I meditate a minimum of twice a day to a maximum of four times. My timer has been set for as low as ten minutes and as high as 15. Though, I have blown through the timer twice and gone thirty minutes twice. This has made my focus in my daily ritual work so much better.
The thing to note this week has been how the meditations have changed. The manifestation meditation is about allowing my conscious self to build a home for my Neschemah and holding an aware contact with it. Over the last week or so that has morphed into specific meditations. I had thought that I was moving off target. However, I think I am meditating on skills that will allow the manifestation meditation to be more effective.
For instance, the last couple of nights have focused on removing the internal walls that prevent me from sensing the occult universe. I suppose another way to say that is that it is tearing down the walls that prevent my intuition from functioning. This in turn morphed into tearing down the internal walls that keep me from fully interacting with and absorbing the energies of those around me.
Sometimes I see a reflection in the real world and I know it is a result of what I have done. In this case, I am not sure. This morning, I went for a bagel and coffee. Someone was preparing their coffee and I was behind him. Most of the the time, I experience this politely but impatiently. Today, I simply stood there. He turned around and handed me the objects I needed. I didn't ask for them. He just gave them to me. I thanked him but he didn't seem all that interested in my thanks or even that I was still there.
This pattern also applied at the local occult shop. The place is a difficult place to visit. Even out of town psychics I know refuse to go in there for all the negativity. The owner also radiates a hatred for men. I can only guess at the traumas that caused that but it is still hard to take. Today, they fell all over me with genuine kindness. I even bought a cup that I will make into my GD style water cup soon.
This confuses me. There is a large part of me that is really done with GD and magick. Yet, I buy the cup.