I have reached a point in were questions are useless. I view myself as a perpetual student. I seek out people that know more than I do. But the answers I seek, can not come from others at this time. The Universe has let me know in subtle and not so subtle ways. Here are the types of incidents I am referring to:
1) I have a mentor but the last time I saw him, he barely looked at me. I took no offense. I am simply not on his radar at the moment. The good news is that I'm doing fine. The bad news is I miss my sounding board, even if I need it less and less.
2) I have used a ploy for years. I'd ask questions I already knew the answer to. In the answers supplied, I'd gain something from another person's perspective. This worked out great. Now, such questions are left unanswered.
3) I've asked questions in an effort to find my way from where I am now and get no reply or very terse replies. Sometimes, I get down right angry replies. This from folks that I rarely see angry.
The universe is telling me to stop looking for things externally. I am listening. I will have to make my way on my own. My plan is only half formed. I will undertake a regular schedule of work. It is my hope to develop a discipline focussed on a narrow set of parameters. I will do the following:
1) I will restart the Stavish meditations that started this blog. I was doing well with them but became distracted. I will begin again and perservere.
2) I will start a regular program of evocation. I will start with the elementals and work my way through the planets, using both angels of the qabala and Greek gods. When I'm done, I will simply start over.
The rest I'm not sure about. I think I likely need to undertake some devotional work. Maybe set up altars to gods or elements or something and just be grateful daily. Maybe, I need to take the tech I have and make it more me. Maybe, I need to focus on and improve my HGA evocation technique that I don't blog about. I am missing something and I know it. I simply do not know what.
I work near the welfare office. Every day I walk by and see so-called parents treating their kids poorly. There is lots of yelling and rough treatment. I feel sorry for the kids, not for their financial poverty but their parental poverty.
Today, I saw three men each taking loving care of their boys. The different races represented one emotion, love. Those kids are not poor.
I am going to start using a larger font. Let me know if this is good or bad.