Old Robert's Failed Attempt

Last night was interesting.

My state of deliriously happy perfection, endearing to some and annoying to a few, had been ebbing for a bit. I was not doing the things I was told to do regularly: write, read about life coaching and clean. I figured this was the causing the slowdown.  Then, last night came around and was relatively rough. I was seriously 'off'. I wasn't upset or grumpy but tending toward a state of blah and nearing a depression sans any cause.

I decided to ask my soul what was going on. The upside of my meditative process is that I am 'there' in no time. I saw my soul body, this time in form of a human, and another darker form hanging on about the waist. Its feet dangling below me and waving about, as if trying to find purchase upon the ground.

Unsure of the nature of the dark form, I reverted back to Qabala and hit it with various things: YHVH, the white shin, the red shin, my personal force etc. I managed to push the thing down so it was wrapped around my knees. Not good enough.

Then, I realized that the dark figure was the old Robert. It wanted to live. I had a two word reply: fuck that. That guy is in too much pain and this guy is too damned happy to go back to living like that. With attitude alone I summarily rejected him. He fell away into the darkness.

Now, one may wonder if this is just some sort of mental masterbation. Visions in one's head are not real. Yeah, well, in my case, I went right back to being my eurphoric self. I found myself cleaning my house in an energetic manner. I had to stop myself as my back has been a mess and I don't want to irritate it until I see the chiropractor. However, that need to clean told me I was once again under the influence of my Greater Neschemah and not the shell of my former self.

Life rocks! I am not going back to that old sad, argumentative, unperceptive, PTSD dude. Nope. There have been no signs of any of those things for a while. I plan to live like this for the duration or until the next better thing rolls in. Doing the Great Work is so worth it!