Thursday, November 22, 2012

Saturn is Kicking My Ass

I have been dealing with Saturn. More quietly, I have been working with Jupiter and Venus. 

Jupiter brings me joy and smiles and odd looks from people that suddenly like me that used to view me with indifference. I enjoy that entire package.

Venus is pretty much no impact at the moment but I am about to step that up.

Saturn is kicking my ass.

I had a dream of a dead person on a slab of stone. The odd part was the dead person was aware. If felt sorry for him. Against my better judgement I moved closer. He started screaming, "He is alive! He is coming for me!" Then as I approached he asked me if I was alive. Before I could answer he grabbed me. The feeling of being grabbed was so tangible that I checked my body for marks when I woke up.

The more troublesome part is that there are times I just want to give up. I am tired. I am tired of my social difficulties. I am tired of physical pain. I am tired of feeling like I have no real connection to folks. I have a lot of friends now. They care about me. They check in consistently and I love them. I reached a point where the people that I know live the life they work to espouse rather than live in creepy shadows. I like that. These are good people. 

Yet I feel disconnected. I feel like giving up. Oddly, there is no depression to go with this at all. I am not sad. I am not melancholy. I do feel very isolated and worn down.

I am sure this is Saturn. 

My Gal is Back! And not!

My Gal, who is my ex-gf, is back to blogging. She is now doing so under Sorer Gimel. As she says, she is tired of defining herself through someone else. That is my gal! or...a not...

1 comment:

Yvonne Chireau said...

hang in there friend. the energies are shifting.