Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Funny Thing with Saturn

The other day, I posted about how Saturn was kicking my ass.

The odd thing is that I feel down, experience certain thought patterns, realize that they are old bullshit thought patterns, and discard them. I then bounce to a better state. It is like I keep reliving who I was but in tiny disposable allotments. As Lon DuQuette once told me, "I am glad I am not that guy anymore!" Most of these examples are external but on occasion I see it in the behavior of others.

This is fun, in a temporarily painful sort of way.

I received a sign last night that it is getting time for more path walking. I will do that soon.

Asperger's Update

Mom has been ill. Last night the kids noticed and put themselves to bed early. It was the first time they ever put themselves to bed at all and they did it out of kindess to their mother. This is a long way from waking them up and hearing, "I hate you," as their first words.

This is why I ignored the words of the commenter a few posts ago. Harming them indeed!


Anonymous said...

One might note that you haven't mentioned anything at all directly related to the kids wellbeing. Instead, you take anything that makes things more convenient for the mother as a positive development being entirely focused in your reports on her. Only once have you mentioned anything that does not fall directly into that category, and only once have you mentioned doing anything that could be directly interpreted as being solely for the kids benefit from the perspective of the kid.

One may also note that 'burn out' is a common issue among many with ASD's years later, when the effort of years of coping and 'pretending normal' finally catch up. Are you going to do follow-up of these kids into adulthood to ensure that your methods haven't encouraged this and deal with it if so? Considering that your primary concern is apparently receiving positive feedback from the mother to validate yourself, rather than doing what is best for the kids in question, I find that highly unlikely. Though this is of course only what is apparent from your posts; perhaps you are simply miscommunicating?

One may also note that any suggestion at all that one attempt to further educate oneself on a condition one is involved in treating is a priori a good one, especially when there is so much easily available information on the matter online. Your referring to AS as an 'illness' is for example something that would be found highly offensive in some circles. Thus, one may also find oneself perplexed about why for any reason such a suggestion would be considered something to be ignored in any context.

One may also find oneself perplexed that any hint of abusive relationships in a family that one is taking on as a case-and referring to the father as a 'wanker' who due to such wankerness the kids will 'need to protect each other' certainly implies a potentially abusive situation-isn't a primary concern. It is a common dynamic in families where the children have issues of any sort for their issues, and the children themeselves, to become used as scapegoats for any family issues in such a way that is emotionally damaging to the children. One may find oneself extremely perplexed as to why if you are taking on this case you find a suggestion to try to ameloriate such family issues something to be ignored when it is likely for them to become real issues and trying to work around them would neither detract from anything else being done nor be a great expense in terms of time and effort.

In short, either you are miscommunicating or nothing you have said at all lessens the potential concern that the best interests of the kids themeselves is your main concern, especially from a wider magical perspective as to what health and well-being constitute.

Sincerely, Drako Angelos. Someone who was harmed quite severely by people who justified it in ways that amount to "you didn't act normal so whatever we did to make you behave better was alright".

Robert said...

Well Drako,

I am sorry for what you have suffered at the hands of others. Hidden among your anger are some good points, which I may choose to address in a future post.

Given you signed it this time, I am going to assume that you are not the person I call Fox. Your writing style is oddly similar. That person, would have little justification in posting on the topic and would be doing so for other reasons. Actually, I am glad you are not Fox.

Flatsquirrel said...

As the mother of the children in question, I'd like to clarify several points. Drako, I have no doubt you had a bad experience and I'm sorry for that, however you've made some base assumptions here that need to be corrected. First, it appears that you assume that I am merely a client of Robert's, when in fact he and I have been very close friends for more than a decade now. Our friendship predates my having children and there is such a high level of honesty between the two of us, I feel he knows all that is needed to truly help with my individual circumstances. I have no doubt what so ever that he has my kids well-being in mind, not my own convenience as a mother, nor is he seeking his own validation. I will agree that it is convenient when my kids are behaving and listening, however that is not at all my primary goal. These small things are actually rather big accomplishments for my kids. As you well know, social issues are common among AS kids and mine have trouble with listening to instruction and empathy. When my kids put themselves to bed when I was sick, of course it was nice to have an easier night, but the reason that was so significant is because my children showed EMPATHY entirely on their own. This is a big deal. They often don't realize when others are uncomfortable and can't relate to feelings that aren't their own. I can see why you might be concerned that any issues of abuse might be being overlooked, however that is not the case. The "wanker" mentioned is my ex-husband and I have taken measures to ensure my kids are safe when with them. However, I believe my ex may also have Aspergers or a form of autism himself, because he is not a functional individual and has unfortunately developed some very negative opinions and coping mechanisms that I do not want passed along to my children. It is a sad fact that some kids have one bad parent, though he isn't entirely bad, and they need to develop skills not only to deal with their AS complications, but also those of their father. Lastly, it has never been my intention to make my kids "normal" and I certainly don't want them to pretend to be what they might perceive as "normal." I want them to be functional in day to day life, that is all. I have enlisted the help of not only Robert, but also counselors and social workers, teachers and other parents. It's an ongoing process of finding what works and what doesn't. It would be irresponsible if Robert were making blind attempts to magickally medicate my children, but that is not the case here. He is well-informed, very concerned for their well-being and has made what I consider to be significant progress with my kids. You do seem to be well informed also, with regard to AS, and I'd love to hear some positive suggestions from you, but I think your anger is a misunderstanding and possibly misdirected from a past experience.