Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Whiny Ass Bitch

Yup, I've been a whiny ass bitch in this space and in my head for a while. I am getting as sick of it as you are. While I know everything is perfect and as it should be, I have a great deal of trouble with my emotional side buying into that.

Nor am I sure how exactly to dig myself out. What I have noticed is that there is very little positive in my head. Even when I get rid of every negative thought, there is nothing positive to fill in the vacuum. This will not do.

I have no idea how that applies to occultism. I only know that I have to change my state of mind. The current state will not do.

Last night, I had a dream of zombies and suicides. It wasn't as horrible as it sounds. i didn't feel threatened at all. Perhaps this was telling me I am surrounded my dead things, my own ideas and aspirations, but it would all right. There was a sense of divine purpose all around.

2 comments:

nutty professor said...

Emotion=water=fourth dimensional plane.

I myself sometimes hang out there. It is also the realm of the thought-form. Why do you think you are so drawn to this arena? Is it where you live as a mage?

Nightjohn88 said...

I think this kind of stuff happens to everyone. Personally, when I find there's not a whole lot of positive to focus on, I take the negative and focus on its opposite. I don't know if that actually works to draw positive things in or not, but it makes me feel a bit better and can be a great visualization exercise.