Sunday, November 6, 2011

Hope

As most of you know I have a magickal life in two cities. My home and one group is based out of my home city. Most of my friendships and my other group is based 160 miles south of me. This weekend, I traveled south for the first time in a very long time for me.

To make things more confusing, I worked with the group based in my home town in the out of town location. Long time readers know that the Conclave of the Greek Key is based on my association with the Helpful Deity (HD), whose real name I am not allowed to mention per Her request. HD has two aspects that we work with. One of them is more immanent and the other more transcendent. 

Normally, we call to commune and learn whatever it is They want to teach us. By They, I mean a host of other Greek Gods and Goddesses that appear whenever the heck they want to. This time, we called the immanent form of HD into my female partner. Without being called the transcendent form landed in me and then brought in Zues into me at the same time. 

HD answered our specific questions thoroughly. It was then time for the other two to proceed. 

The transcendent form gave me a private instruction that I could not even share with my partner. This is rare because our work is very intimate. We see each other in very trying times and trust each other completely. However, this was for me to know and I know only me...at the moment. She did offer a healing. The energy She offered was very ethereal at first but then she gradually ratcheted it down to something more substantial. It was a very cool feeling. It was a bit like feeling the healing energy pass through the four qabalistic worlds. 

Then she brought in Zues. For reasons I cannot explain, as it would not have been my first thought, my partner asked how I may be healed from the trials I have been facing in my dark night of the soul. He gave me some answers and also left instructions for my partners to follow as well. 

I have been afraid of the HD once in her eminent form. Zues didn't scare me but I think that may be because  the transcendent form of HD was there. I will be VERY careful if He ever shows up again. I have never been all that subservient. Zeus, however, would get a lot of "Yes, Sirs" from me. That god is easily offended.

That night, I had a dream. I dreamed that I had just been initiated into Aurum Solis. I believe that is a GD offshot that practices planetary magick on a base eight system. They also are very much into practical magick. I could be wrong. I don't know much about them.

After the initiation, a huge black python type snake appeared. I ran. It killed me. The dream reset to just before that happened. The python appeared and I befriended it. It lay next to me as I petted its head. I am not aware of any association with Zeus and a big black snake but I feel the dream was the result of that working.

I woke with the understanding that much of my problems have to do with the way I think about things when depressed. I posted on that in the Reversing a Mental Habit post. However, if I skip that part, and just go to how I feel about things, I am much better off. 

I tried that with my former coven situation, which causes me angst way out of proportion with the passage of time. It was a long time ago. I found that if I thought about events and how wrong I think they are, I get mad, upset and obsessed. If I think about how I feel about no longer being with them, I am sad but very much okay. At that time in my life, those people were very very toxic to me. 

This may be a technique I can use to pull myself out of this hole. My partners following Zues's instructions may help as well. This is the first time in quite sometime that I have hope for climbing out of this.




5 comments:

petoskystone said...

trusting that Hope has wings for you, at this time.

nutty professor said...

I really like this blog when you go into the ethnographic detail. It has been a long time. Thanks for the good read.

Please don't forget to "be" Love.

Robert said...

Nutty, when you say ethnographic detail, are you talking about the details of the rituals, the info about the Conclave people? What are you missing?

nutty professor said...

Anthropologists used to do something called "participant-observation" when they would go into the field and go native, so to speak, doing the rituals, eating the food, embodying the life of the Other while theorizing it. This was very popular in academia until it was called into question by the cultural anthropologists who said that we cannot authentically become that which we are not, so the descriptions lack "Truth" in a sense. I call bullshit. So when you write about your experiences I enjoy them because they are authentic ethnography, you are describing what you do and what you are but from an interesting perspective, as Robert, the Other. I think that your magickal training has given you the kind of perspective that you use in the writing to make it come to life for readers like me. There is nothing missing at all.

Robert said...

Nutty, I see what you mean. I took the "It has been a long time," comment to mean that I had been leaving something out that you enjoy.