I have had a low grade fever for three days. I have been exhausted. There have been no other symptoms. Today is day four. Color me irritated.
I popped into the temple room intent on doing a middle pillar with healing intent. As I sat in the meditation chair, I remembered a YHVH meditation the rabbi shared with the group. This was shortly followed by the admonition not to teach it. Apparently, the good rabbi is concerned that teaching things to folks that are not ready to deal with the energies created can, and I quote, "blow their heads off".
Personally, I don't think this particular technique qualifies but what do I know? Keeping a secret someone wants you to keep is part of the discipline of magick. WitchDoctorJoe gave me one of his techniques once. I've used it. In fact, I thought of a variation of that technique I will use again. Even though hearing it from somewhere else gives me an out, I've never told a soul. You just don't do that.
I know why he asked me to keep it secret. My choice there is that if I have a student that I judge can gain benefit from the technique, who is of sound judgment, good character, and isn't bat-shit crazy, I may...may...share the technique. That follows in the spirit of the promise.
The problem with magickal promises is that breaking them in any way can come back to bite you on the ass. Before I did that with Joe's technique, I'd have to be very very sure the student was in need. The likelihood of such a need that couldn't be satisfied in another way is very small. However, the technique is so cool and useful, I wish I could teach it.
Why did I go into all that? Because someone is going to send me a comment or private email asking me about the rabbi's technique. No, I am not going to share. If you do enough reading on the qabala or kabbalah, I'm pretty sure you'd come across it on your own. It wasn't new to me. I've just never done it.
Back to today's magick. The meditation was cool. The visual focus slowly morphed into something more and more complicated. It ended when I simply couldn't focus on the complexities. I could have started over or just gone back a step. I didn't.
I then did a middle pillar with the intent to use the energy to heal myself.
I feel stronger. I cleaned up the house a bit. I washed the sheets etc. I have felt the energy of the exercise impacting my subtle bodies over the last couple of hours. How do I feel now? I have a low grade fever and I'm a bit tired. Shrug.