I am spiraling myself into a black hole.
I have continued to look for outside validation for sustenance. This is foolish, stupid, and unproductive. It is a trap. It is a very simple trap and one that I cannot release myself from.
There is life or death at the bottom of that spiral. I feel that I have not yet bottomed out.
Those who called this the dark night of the soul lied. It lasts longer than a night.