Saturday, February 11, 2012

Whoa Whoa Whoa Feelings...

Reader Mike asked the following:

In this post, and your next one, you talk about recognizing the difference between thoughts that come from yourself, and thoughts that come from your soul. Sorry if you've already covered this, I'm new here, but could you elaborate? Could you describe the feeling? I find that often, people are using different words to describe the same things, and once we describe how it feels, everyone understands one another better.

I fully agree that when we describe how something feels emotionally we come to a better understanding. In fact, I think what we feel is much more revealing spiritually than what we think. I will allow you to ponder the irony of that little statement.

Here is the deal. This isn't a feeling for me. It is knowledge. I know this book is coming out like I know I am getting out of bed and going to work tomorrow. You can ponder the irony of that statement, if a meteor crashes through my ceiling tonight and kills me in my sleep.

So, how do I know? Damn. Good. Question.

Part of this is that some things land square on between the incredible and the so easily explainable mundane. For instance, I went from a ten year problem with PTSD that my spiritual advisers, professional mental health providers, other smart people, various magickal rituals, and other meditations could not resolve. The Manifestation Meditation (MM) brought about the circumstances to cure the largest problem in my life, rooted out the core 'negative' issue I'd been programmed with, which a lot of smart people honestly thought was one thing and it turned out to be something else. This in turn solved my second biggest negative of getting frustrated, mostly at work, and in other places.

Frankly, this is how magick works anyway. So, how do I know I have contact with my soul?

First of all, I am happy most of the time. When I am unhappy, it is unusual. Not only is that a radical change for me, I believe happiness is a sign of soul contact. By happiness, I mean real happiness, not the smile we put on to be social. One of the most miserable and out of touch people I know looks happy when in social situations. It is an act. Real happiness comes from being able to live right now, in the now, with full faith in yourself/Yourself, the Universe and everything else.

I love people I once severely distrusted. I have compassion for those I used to hate. I understand how pain caused and causes people to behave in questionable ways.

Further, when I do the MM, I feel like I have a halo. I have had that astral feeling about the head for many years when meditating or doing astral work but that felt like I was pushing up against something. Like a hand pushing up against a tarp. Now, that feeling has changed to an incredible sense of place. It is more like the halo is part of a part of me.

I feel that every question I ask of my soul will be answered. So far it has. I feel like everything I ask of my soul is granted, save one thing, which earned the response, "finish the book."

I feel that when I write or speak of the MM the universe is helping me. The only effort I have to put in is the discipline to work on writing or ask the questions I need answered and everything else is provided.

I feel that the universe is validating many of my conclusions from magickal work. For instance, I've been drawn to reading Buddhist praxis. There are five states of "I" all of which I have arrived at before reading. The challenges presented to being present are all things I faced and from that drew the same conclusions. I am now developing a practice to solidify that wisdom and state of being.

At times, I am overwhelmed by the love and bounty of the universe.

I love my friends more than ever before.

Those things that I felt guilty about in the past still happened but now they are like the memories of a book read. They do not plague me. Even the things that I didn't know were plaguing me are gone.

I know what my virtue is at any given moment. Since January, I've literally had ONE period of questionable THOUGHT. I went to a place that used to be a way of privately acting out my expression of pain and being out of control. Aside from that, my mind has been extraordinarily at one within my virtue.

I have very solid boundaries. Yet, I am not judgmental if you cross yours.

I have reached a point of balancing mercy and severity.

I have been in a bad mood, one time, since January 1. I am going to post on that soon.

I no longer "reach" for realities thinking that will make me happy.

To wrap up, there is a feeling of strength, place, confidence, wholeness, compassion. I am Robert and that is ALL there is to that.

No comments: