I have been feeling the urge to study of late. Specifically, I want to look into the adept level GD tarot spread that takes just this side of forever to perform. I've never had any interest in that before. Also, Jack mentioned something about the Thoth tarot that I want to look into that I feel will take my readings to the next level.
The problem is that when I pick up a book I can read about a sentence. After that, I simply do not care. If I try to push, it is like reading French written by an Italian that knew neither English nor French.
I suppose this may be a sign that I am picking up again. That same sign is also saying I am not ready yet. I am not frustrated by this. I am only a bit annoyed when I give in and try to pick up a book and hit that language barrier.
The only thing that interests me at the moment is working with the Conclave of the Greek Key. To me, this group is what I always thought a coven was supposed to be. We all have great trust in each other. I also trust the gods we are dealing with. Now, I know that gods often have an agenda of their own that doesn't fit with our own. For reasons I cannot explain, I trust these gods anyway. Completely.
I cannot imagine not getting back to ceremonial magick and all that it entails. Sooner or later, that will happen. I want to do magick again. I am just not sure how and I know (cue Bush 1) it wouldn't be prudent at this juncture.
I do feel there is a greater depth to me now. There will be a greater depth to my magick once I am out of this place.