Spewing Forth

A comment from Atlantic on my post about a dream got me thinking. The post described a building being built from the top down. I looked it at as if the supernals, Greater Neschemah or the Immortal soul manifesting by descending. The empty space beneath the building was a metaphor for the things I have lost this year. He mentioned that it was a process of rebuilding the personality.

I have heard that there comes a time when I magician gets to specifically select aspects to incorporate into his personality. I have also heard that this is an outstanding in my life to do nothing. Obviously, therein lies a dilemma.

Right now, all that seems to be coming out of my mouth is the negative part of my personality. The rest of my goodness is hidden but watching. It perceives the attitude being displayed and knows that it isn't real. I am saying things that display a horrible negative perception of my future. I am saying that I feel hopeless. Though, this isn't true. I think I feel lost right now and like I have little left in my life save some really good friends. Which, I must admit, is more than I had the last time I went through wide spread dissolution. 

I actually am very down about my present; I am not so down about my future in every aspect. There are a few things I am very down there on but not everything. The odd part is that one very aware part of me is listening to another very aware part of my personality say things both parts know are not factually correct regarding my own attitude. This is truly fascinating. I actually enjoy the sensation of being doubly aware.

At the moment, my plan is to let the part that watches interrupt the part that is spewing forth this stuff.