In Order to See the All

Last night, I was sitting in my chair recovering from massive back issues and minding my own business. Without preamble, a hello, or even an 'excuse me' a voice echoed in my head, "In order to see the All, you cannot be." The meaning was clear.

I was given something as part of the time ritual and am thus barred from revealing its nature. I started with that. I let myself merge with it and slowly started not owning myself. I saw the letter I fade like an image in a power point presentation. It would rebuild and then fade pixel by pixel. At some point, the pixels started fading at the base and the I fell over. Then there was the nature in question.

This wasn't as full a removal of the I as I thought but it must have been enough. I came back and laid on the couch exhausted. This reminded me much of how I felt after my first soul readings*. Within a half hour, I was up and about again. The recovery time was very short in comparison.

I moved out and sat in chair in my garage, opened the door and enjoyed a thunder storm. Soon, I was working on not being within the storm. The effect was interesting. I began to see the clouds as roiling smoke. The analogy there being the heat of evaporation. I enjoyed the movement of the forces. Suddenly, spirits of the storm began to appear. One, aware that I was not me and therefore defenseless dove to the attack. Not me was not afraid and became a king of the clouds throne and all. The spirit veered away and never again approached.

It was then that I had a vision of ego and not-ego.

When I was a beginning magician, I received a lot of ego messages, "You are great at XXXX;" "What a awesome ritual you have developed," and the like. Eventually, they become subtler and subtler appeals to the ego. The subtlest ego appeal is attitude. Anything that makes one devalue the other fellow is an ego problem. "I am not all that but he is a buffoon " The first part of that make you think you're humble. You are not.

In this case, I was presented with a future event that had the markings of ego-inflation all over it even though it would appear as an external thing. Instead of preventing it, I was told to let it happen but own no part of it. Let it slide past like the illusion that it is. I hope I remember this post when that happens.